The GOP's Ten Commandments (Full Version)

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tazzygirl -> The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 2:34:54 AM)

The Man is always finding funny stuff for me to read. I wasnt sure if this belonged in humor or here... but.. hey.. what the heck.

http://www.addictinginfo.org/?page_id=583

And Lo, did Republican Jesus come down among the masses and holding his tablet PC, did he give unto his disciples the NEW (and improved) Ten Commandments. “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Socialism, out of the house of Communism.”

1. You shall have no other gods before me, especially that terrorist monkey god, Mohammed.

2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them except for the Holy Benjamins. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting poverty of the fathers on the children of those (those) who hate me, but showering material riches unto thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. Also, you shall have guns. All you want.

3. You shall not take the name of your God, Ronald Reagan, in vain, for the Lord will hold him guiltless of treason and malfeasance.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. If you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, six days you shall labor and do all your work, that should just about do it for the year[ii], but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor the stranger who is within your country illegally unless they are off the books then they shall work all seven days without respite. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, including dinosaur bones and rested the seventh day.

5. Honor your father and your mother by ensuring that they keep their Social Security even as you shall taketh it away from all others.

6. You shall not murder unless they are Muslim. Or gay. Or abortion doctors. Or government workers. Or black. Or whatever group is currently out of favor with mine chosen White (not white, White) People.

7. You shall not commit adultery and get caught during an election year.

8. You shall not steal unless it’s from the workers’ pensions.[iii]

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Just kidding, Glenn.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s. Instead, you shall go forth and buy these things for yourself on credit and keep the “too big to fail” banks happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post the equalivent for a Democrat if you wish!



thishereboi -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 5:12:06 AM)

Wow, I can think of a few posters who will just love that. It slams conservatives and christians at the same time. What fun[8|]



tazzygirl -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 5:35:02 AM)

It was a joke, boi... do try and remember what one of those are. As I said.. give equal time to dems if you wish. I tried to find one similar to this one... and couldnt seem to find one.

Btw.. [;)].. this isnt the first time I have posted something like this.



rulemylife -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 10:04:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Wow, I can think of a few posters who will just love that. It slams conservatives and christians at the same time. What fun[8|]


I do, I do.

[sm=cheerleader.gif][sm=hyper.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=car.gif]



Termyn8or -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 5:50:21 PM)

OK, the democrat version, on the fly !

1. Thou shalt support the poor as well as the rich, on the backs of those who create the wealth.

2. Thou shalt remove your Creator from the universe.

3. Thou shalt attempt and fail to make the world safe for every five year old, everywhere.

4. Thou shalt have many officers and offices.

5. Thou shalt practice indiscriminate sex, everywhere, no matter how high the office.

6. Thou shalt piss of almost everyone over 55 years of age, and strive to excel in the task, thus vanquishing the adversary, the GOP.

7. Thou shalt honor Ophah Winfrey.

8. Thou shalt, by your officers, make irresponsible the masses.

9. Thou shalt appear to balance the budget, yet will not be reelected.

10. Thou shalt keep the Commandments holy, beyond honor and the needs of the masses, beyond everything save sexual desire. And have videotapes instead of audiotapes.

I, your Lord have vanquished the adversary's audiotapes, which were meant to portray honesty, so thou shalt use video, because there is nothing like a Kodak moment.




That was totally off the cuff. If it was inadequate, let me know and I will obtain the necessary whisky. Of fine caliber, Jack Daniels at least.

Did I ever post the Ebonics Bible ? If I did I'm sure someone remembers it. Perhaps I'll do a search. I had roomfuls of people laughing with it.

T^T



outhere69 -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 5:57:50 PM)

Hey T, wouldn't they be using MP3 players or compact disks instead of tapes?

I wouldn't restrict it to 5 years olds... and maybe I'd exchange Ellen DeGeneris for Oprah (I think Oprah's a bit overexposed).

And where do I get some of that indiscriminate sex??



Sanity -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 6:07:52 PM)


Found this one on the web:

I. Thou Shalt Have no other gods before the environment.

II. Thou Shalt Not make to thee any image or likeness of scripture or anything that references or alludes to God and post it a public place.

III. Thou Shalt not take the name of the Supreme Court in vain.

IV. Remember vacation days in union contracts to keep them sacrosanct. For three days shalt thou labor, but the remaining four shall be for recreation.

V. Honor thy Public School teachers and never criticize their methods, curriculum, or results, that they may fill thy campaign coffers.

VI. Thou Shalt not kill except for convenience and sex.

VII. Thou Shalt not judge any consensual sex act as immoral, lest thou be considered a prude.

VIII. Thou Shalt not steal unless it is from a rich man and thou useth the tax code, or if thou art a clever movie character, thou canst do it as well.

IX. Thou Shalt bear false witness and paint a deceiving picture if it advances the cause of liberalism.

X. Thou Shalt Covet thy neighbors house, thy neighbor's car, and thy neighbor's spouse. For thy neighbor hath gotten all of his goods and success by oppressing the poor. Thy covetousness shalt drive thy politics.



eihwaz -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 6:16:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
[...]
http://www.addictinginfo.org/?page_id=583


2. [...] Also, you shall have guns. All you want.



quote:

ORIGINAL Duck Soup (1933, USA, 68 minutes)
They got guns,
We got guns,
All God's chillun got guns...




Hillwilliam -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 6:57:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity


Found this one on the web:


VII. Thou Shalt not judge any consensual sex act as immoral, lest thou be considered a prude.

.

That's funny as hell since this is a fukin KINK site.



Sanity -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:32:28 PM)


When youre right youre right, and by god you have a point.

With this in mind and while gazing over at lucys Canada stomps free speech thread, and considering how so many leftists find it  ideal to outlaw dissenting views on that thread, it occurred to me that a far better Liberal commandment for number seven would probably command liberals to eliminate free speech rights for all others so that only the Democrat party approved version of  "truth" could be spoken.

You like that one better?



Hillwilliam -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:33:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity


When youre right youre right, and by god you have a point.

With this in mind and while gazing over at lucys Canada stomps free speech thread, and considering how so many leftists find it  ideal to outlaw dissenting views on that thread, it occurred to me that a far better Liberal commandment for number seven would probably command liberals to eliminate free speech rights for all others so that only the Democrat party approved version of  "truth" could be spoken.

You like that one better?


I'm just still laughing at the unthinking hypocricy of your last post ok.



Sanity -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:38:49 PM)


Yeah, okay. Morons are easily amused, I get that.

I guess you fail to realize that I wrote, found it on the web.

My first thought on your raising the matter was "Consensual? Clinton was a rapist... liberals dont care about consensuality really, unless it serves their agenda."

But then I thought better of that and submitted the above observation instead.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I'm just still laughing at the unthinking hypocricy of your last post ok.



Arpig -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:40:15 PM)

quote:

Thou Shalt not judge any consensual sex act as immoral, lest thou be considered a prude.
Ummmm, Tom, isn't that sort of the main point of this site?



Hillwilliam -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:44:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity


Yeah, okay. Morons are easily amused, I get that.

I guess you fail to realize that I wrote, found it on the web.

My first thought on your raising the matter was "Consensual? Clinton was a rapist... liberals dont care about consensuality really, unless it serves their agenda."

But then I thought better of that and submitted the above observation instead.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I'm just still laughing at the unthinking hypocricy of your last post ok.


You still dont get the oxymoron of a sexually conservative person on a KINK site do you?

Oh well, maybe some day someone will explain it to you slowly and in words of one syllable.



Sanity -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:45:00 PM)


See my two posts above, arpig. [;)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Thou Shalt not judge any consensual sex act as immoral, lest thou be considered a prude.
Ummmm, Tom, isn't that sort of the main point of this site?



Arpig -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:47:58 PM)

quote:

When youre right youre right, and by god you have a point.

With this in mind and while gazing over at lucys Canada stomps free speech thread, and considering how so many leftists find it ideal to outlaw dissenting views on that thread, it occurred to me that a far better Liberal commandment for number seven would probably command liberals to eliminate free speech rights for all others so that only the Democrat party approved version of "truth" could be spoken.
And when you're wrong you're wrong! That thread has nothing to do with curtailing free speech. It has to do with a proposal that would have allowed news organizations to knowingly broadcast falsehoods and lies and present them as "news"....you know factual. Nobody is preventing anybody from presenting any slant or viewpoint they wish to, they just cannot knowingly present bullshit as truth on the airwaves.
We want our news to be based on the facts as known at the time of broadcast....not fantasy and outright lies. We don't care if the broadcaster is left-wing, right-wing, Commu8nist, Nazi, Liberal, or Conservative, but we do require them to do their best to make sure what they broadcast is backed up by verifiable facts. Its simply one of the requirements to use the public airwaves...you can't knowingly lie to people about shit....to do that you have to start up a newspaper of your own and then you can print damn near anything you want, true or not.



Sanity -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:49:25 PM)


Three posts above I told you that you were right about number seven, you are incredibly thick arent you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
You still dont get the oxymoron of a sexually conservative person on a KINK site do you?

Oh well, maybe some day someone will explain it to you slowly and in words of one syllable.



Arpig -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:51:02 PM)

quote:

See my two posts above, arpig.
Yeah, that's what happens when you post a reply before reading the whole thread....mea culpa



Sanity -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:52:26 PM)


A little bit of friendly jabbing in the ribs never hurt anyone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

See my two posts above, arpig.
Yeah, that's what happens when you post a reply before reading the whole thread....mea culpa



Hillwilliam -> RE: The GOP's Ten Commandments (3/2/2011 7:55:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanity


Three posts above I told you that you were right about number seven, you are incredibly thick arent you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
You still dont get the oxymoron of a sexually conservative person on a KINK site do you?

Oh well, maybe some day someone will explain it to you slowly and in words of one syllable.


No, I'm just incredibly contemptuous of people who call themselves "Doms" who dont even do their own thinking. They're just a bitch for whatever pundit (Right OR Left wing) they decide to follow.



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