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Chemistry - 3/2/2011 3:00:55 PM   
Contesa


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		Master has played with someone who we know very well.  Although they had never played before,this time, there was a wish that he may have found someone that would be fun.

Unfortunately, it was flat and boring and he's dreading that she'll want to play again.   Have you ever played with a someone who you just had zero chemistry at all?. Almost like a vast emptiness.

How do you tell a  friend,  that Master found they had no chemistry in their play and Master is not interested in playing with them without hurting their feelings?

< Message edited by Contesa -- 3/2/2011 3:59:54 PM >
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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:01:55 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
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From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Is he a D?

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:06:47 PM   
Contesa


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		Yes he is a dominant Master.

I'm sure that he won't have a problem telling her, I'm just wondering if others have had things like this come up. Its not that you don't like them, they just have the wrong type of energy that he likes to play with.

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:08:53 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Contesa

How do you tell a female who is a friend,  that the energy they give off is masculine and Master is not interested in playing with them without hurting their feelings?


<wince>

I absolutely detest the incorrect use of the word "energy" ... it's one of those useful, meaningful words that has been hijacked by "New Age" woolly thinkers and their ilk.

It may well be that a girl can adopt a more masculine persona, but talk of "energy" in those terms is wrong.

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:09:58 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		It is no different in tha Nilla world, a connection is a connection a rejection is a rejection. It's all about chemistry, no matter what dance you are doing.

I am sure, since you said he is a D, that he will be able to put it to her in such a way as it does not crush her.

YMMV
SLURP~


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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:21:55 PM   
Contesa


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Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		I'd like to think it was just a masculine persona but, its not. His words...are that she doesn't give me the usual vibe that he gets when he interacts with females. I believe he called it energy flatlining.

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:27:03 PM   
RapierFugue


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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Contesa

I believe he called it energy flatlining.


<bangs head repeatedly against desk>


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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:29:00 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I get what you're saying. There's a ... something... that happens. It sounds like there is no attraction.

I'm with the troll here... it's all about chemistry, no matter what euphemism we call it. Your zing has to zap their zong. Without it... nothing.

But to answer this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Contesa

How do you tell a female who is a friend, that the energy they give off is masculine and Master is not interested in playing with them without hurting their feelings?



You don't. What a mean spirited thing to say. The person in question says something like, "It didn't do it for me, but hey, I'm glad we are friends. So, how's your week been?" and then you stick to that. There's no need to be insulting.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 3/2/2011 3:40:08 PM >

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:37:11 PM   
Contesa


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		Exactly sunshinemiss.  No chemistry at all.  When Master steps back and wants to quit the play or is trying all kinds of different things to see if there is a different reaction, I can tell by the look on his face that he is just *done*.

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:40:28 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
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Status: offline 		What are you ascribing to masculine vs feminine?

She had a cock?

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:41:45 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		To the OP:
I suggest you take the "masculine" and "feminine" part out of this. It is not giving the impression you mean for it to give.


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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:48:14 PM   
Contesa


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		Hmmm.....I never did a cock check.   For the sake of all though, lets take energy, masculine or feminine off the table.  How do you deal with telling someone who is a friend that your just not interested in playing with them anymore because you just got nothing out of it?

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 3:49:19 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
I get what you're saying. There's a ... something... that happens. It sounds like there is no attraction.

I'm with the troll here... it's all about chemistry, no matter what euphemism we call it. Your zing has to zap their zong. Without it... nothing.

But to answer this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Contesa

How do you tell a female who is a friend, that the energy they give off is masculine and Master is not interested in playing with them without hurting their feelings?
You don't. What a mean spirited thing to say. The person in question says something like, "It didn't do it for me, but hey, I'm glad we are friends. So, how's your week been?" and then you stick to that. There's no need to be insulting.
This is what I would go with.   A Gentle, considerate approach.    M


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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 4:05:20 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Ok.. well as to that... I would just be honest and compassionate... how would YOU want to be told that?

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 4:30:27 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Well, it depends what the *play* was.


If someone knew me well my ***energy*** would be pretty damn evident.

How can anyone you know *well* have no ***energy*** at all? There must have been SOMETHING to have made him want to go there in the first place?

Basically, he fancied it and went there. It didn't give him the pleasure he'd HOPED/WISHED for and now he's wondering how to put her off?

If he has good reason to never want to play with her again then he has to grab his balls and do/say the correct thing (whatever that is).

Not getting any reaction/connection etc, ( depending what the hell you were doing at the time) isn't the same as the things you're describing (male energy, flat, boring and creeped him out)

So the experience didn't float his boat, didn't suit him? Whatever the reason and frankly, no-one here can be privy to that........Just be decent and magnanimous and lie if need be.....especially if all you have is your personal *energy* thing.

agirl









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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 4:32:05 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Well, girl, I hope all your friends realize that you think lying to them is a perfectly acceptable part of the relationship.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 4:46:36 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i kind of have to agree with where agirl was going -- something obviously enticed him enough to agree to play with her in the first place. he was too attached to some expectation of the session and now doesn't want to play anymore because he didn't get the experience he was expecting.
how about just saying "it was fun but i don't think we have good chemistry together"

(that kind of stuff is always SO MUCH easier said than done for me, so i just don't go to that point with a person if i'm not feeling something really compelling.)


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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 4:54:41 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i just don't go to that point with a person if i'm not feeling something really compelling.

Yeah exactly... there's the 64 dollar question. I'm trying to figure out what the hell it means to say he played with her but... but... but what? He didn't like it? But he did it anyway? If it didn't work for him, why is the question coming up NOW... after the fact?

Fish => Smell

K.

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 5:04:45 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~
 
You're rather putting the cart before the horse, don't you think?  If he didn't have an enjoyable experience, what makes you think she did?  Maybe his "energy" was too feminine for her.  For all you know, she's thinking much the same thing about him and dreading having to let him down easily.  IF she wants to play again, then he can say something to the effect of thank you for the compliment, but he'd rather be friends than play partners and go from there.

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RE: Feminine energy - 3/2/2011 5:13:38 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		They'd certainly think I was all kinds of shit if I played with them and then had a crisis of *energy*, basically blaming it on THEM.

If I TRULY came out with the crap in the OP, yes, I'd consider lying as the valiant thing to do to redeem my black, black soul!!

Sorry, no-one in my herb garden expects people to use the truth to crucify others. We are fine with lies here, you're beating up the wrong path.

agirl





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