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RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 6:45:51 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

sensual =/= weak, to me. sensuality is about sensation, getting you worked up, fiddling around with all of your senses and how you process sensory information. sensual doesn't always mean feathery ticklers and light massages. it can be the tip of a sharp sharp knife tracing its way down your spine, it can be the feeling of rope sliding across your skin, cinching your elbows together. a hand in your hair pulling your head back (i'm pretty sure the scalp is an erogenous zone, i don't care what anyone says about that), sound, smell, touch, sight, taste, or the lack of them. it's hot and cold, soft and rough, a sigh and a scream.

i appreciate someone who can use sensuality well.
someone who describes himself as soft or light? totally not a good fit for me. but sensual? -- well that all depends on how a guy uses it.

I too, find it interesting that people equate sensual with non-manly, wimpy doms.

My Master is neither of those things and the only time I have ever safe-worded was from sensation/pleasure overload.
I am not a masochist, and have been on the receiving end of strikes that have left me with bruises for more than a month, and that did not elicit a safe word.

One of the things I love about him is his mastery of sensation play.
His fingertips on my forearm were my very first taste of that, before he introduced me to silk scarves being drawn very slowly across bare skin. The beginning of many more wonderful things, that sometimes will cause me to safe word...from pleasure and not pain.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 21

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 10:50:20 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I too, find it interesting that people equate sensual with non-manly, wimpy doms.

I've noticed a similar response to persons that describe themselves as Gentleman Dominants. On the other side of the slash, I find that male submissives often experience similar biases that disparage their masculinity due to their station.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 22

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 11:05:57 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

I've noticed a similar response to persons that describe themselves as Gentleman Dominants.

It would appear there is a perception that, unless a dominant male limits himself to being a hardass, he can not possibly be a "man" or master another.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 23

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 12:09:59 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

It would appear there is a perception that, unless a dominant male limits himself to being a hardass, he can not possibly be a "man" or master another.

I think it's because some folks equate sensual with soft and, in turn, believe that softness is weakness. It still boils down to .. is the dominant doing what he wants? ... whether hard ass or sensual, that, to me, is what doms do and most aren't going to care much about the perception of someone that they don't own. I love sensual.. I love hard ass.. I'm all bi like that. :D

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 24

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 12:32:13 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Sensual mean a wimp, weak ha! hardly. My Master is very sensual but he is every bit a man. Why is sensual weak? Yes i do get spankings and have been punished when necesserary. he is sensuakl because he is more inot the senstion when we play yes he is in total control. He is not a sadist what he does he does very well and he always makes me melt. We are a perfect match for each other.

For those who think sensual is weak, i would guess never had a sensual Master cause my Master is every inch a strong man, and every inch a Dom.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 25

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 12:44:10 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

It would appear there is a perception that, unless a dominant male limits himself to being a hardass, he can not possibly be a "man" or master another.

I see that idea professed by both sexes. The interesting thing is how quickly it changes. Hard ass is hot until he brings the hammer down. Then we use a different description. Be careful what you wish for.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 26

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 12:44:12 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
I have always understood the term to represent gentlemen who derived pleasures from activities that were not predicated on pain. This does not suggest that their approach is lacking nor lighter, but merely a different form of expression for physical satisfaction.

This... for me at least. Not that I really use those terms to describe myself but if a BDSM person said to me, "Sounds like you're a sensual dom" I'd nod. If someone equated it to a generally relaxed attitude towards command/obedience then I'd laugh and say, "Not so much me".

Insofar as whether it's manly or domly, I'll let other people worry about that. It works for me and it works for Carol.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 27

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 2:53:48 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
What do you think of or imagine when you hear the term "sensual Dom"?

i'm not very sensual, and so the word "sensual" is a turn off to me, when i hear it applied to a person. It's okay for food to be sensual, but if a person described themselves that way i would be thinking, how much sex am i going to have to have with this person? But, hey, that's just me and i don't really enjoy sex.

So, i guess i equate the term "sensual" with sex (and other activities that have to do with pleasing touch.)

Taking bubble baths by candlelight. Being blindfolded while the person runs different textured objects across your skin. Body shots. Playing with ice. Those are the kinds of images that come to mind when i hear the word "sensual" describing a person.

i don't think the phrase "sensual Dom" implies anything about a person's Dominance. It only implies something about their sensuality. It's not good or bad. Not really my cup of tea, though. Personally, i find it teeth grindingly irritating. So for me, it's not a desirable trait in a partner.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 3/7/2011 3:06:08 PM >

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 28

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 3:20:12 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I think it's because some folks equate sensual with soft and, in turn, believe that softness is weakness. It still boils down to .. is the dominant doing what he wants? ... whether hard ass or sensual, that, to me, is what doms do and most aren't going to care much about the perception of someone that they don't own. I love sensual.. I love hard ass.. I'm all bi like that. :D

Good point and interesting association (soft = weak). I'm pretty greedy myself, in that I enjoy someone who can master sensual, hard ass, and everything in between, when he deems appropriate.

I doubt the man above me would label himself a "sensual" dom (again, that would be too limiting), but that's certainly in his make up. I just find the opinions really interesting.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 29

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 5:38:08 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

To me it just indicates not sadistic. Interested in power, in sexuality, in sensation play, but not just giving as much pain as possible.

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(in reply to preytolife)

Post #: 30

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 5:53:49 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i think sometimes people get so preoccupied with proving their gnarliness as "the hardest player in town," and uh... there's so much more to it than that (at least for me).

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 31

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 7:05:35 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

What do you think of or imagine when you hear the term "sensual Dom"?

A "Service Top".

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 32

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 7:14:21 PM

vegetablelamb

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/29/2010
From: The Cabbage Patch
Status: offline

I take sensual as more of a cuddly Dom. And I've gotten a lot of "Sensual Dom" followed by "not into discipline and sadism/masochism." I'm entirely too involved with the lovely thing that is pain, so Sensual Dom isn't appealing first glance.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 33

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 7:24:40 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i think sometimes people get so preoccupied with proving their gnarliness as "the hardest player in town," and uh... there's so much more to it than that (at least for me).

^5. I love it!

There are elements of that personality that I don't find appealing anymore. Cold men leave me frigid. I look at the big picture and imagine myself waking up that block of ice each day and mister sensitivity sounds pretty darned enticing.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 34

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/7/2011 10:07:32 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

What do you think of or imagine when you hear the term "sensual Dom"?

Umm, when I hear "sensual Dom," I think of a Dom who's not necessarily into giving pain, but sensations and impact play. My Daddy that died was what one could call a "sensation Dom." He never hurt me, EVER, and he was incredibly good with a flogger and other assorted goodies, as well as being out of this world with his bare hands. I loved him with all my being and would never have thought of him as a wimp or sissy or anything remotely like that. He was ALL MAN!

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 35

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/9/2011 11:11:43 PM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
Great question TwoShoes. It's always a joy to see you posting.

Hey, thanks, poise.
And yeah, this is a great question, judging by the differences in responses.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 36

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/10/2011 12:36:59 AM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

Senses, senses, senses.
Of course it's a highly desirable thing... as long as he doesn't pretend to be the woman in the relationship.
No, seriously. There are ones who try to do that.
The Lord help us.

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 37

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/10/2011 12:45:35 AM

62704

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

A loving caress delivered at the right place and the right time is highly sensual. So is the finishing stroke of a long series of bare handed ass tattoos.

Sensuality is broad.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 38

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/16/2011 8:11:51 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

This is what I love about these boards.

Take a positive word like sensual and perceive it as weak or ineffectual as a Dom.

To me, being too sensual is akin to being too beautiful.

Sensuality takes many forms and none of them are weak.

Then again, I am the type that loves to be dragged my hair, handled roughly and then have someone sensually stroke my face.

Somehow the combination of the two is what is sublime.

(in reply to 62704)

Post #: 39

RE: Sensual Dom - 3/16/2011 8:16:22 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

you have a wonderful brain, sexyred ^_^ i couldn't agree with you more.
i dont really understand why "sensual" translates to "weak." it doesn't and never has, for me.
the scenario you described is pretty yumtabulous, if i do say so myself. ^.~

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 40

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