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Najakcharmer -> RE: When it comes to sex (5/5/2006 9:25:03 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: naughtynick
This thread is not made to make dommes interested in me. Its a rant.
Whether or not you care what people on this site think of you, the fact that you are ranting this way suggests that you have some pretty serious personal issues that are likely to get in the way of your finding a partner. Even if you move onto another site where nobody's seen your rant, this attitude will continue to cause problems for you.
quote:
If there is such a thing as "do me " subs, that means there is such a thing of "do me" dommes. I think 95 percent of dommes are "do me" dommes. Expecting a sub or slave to do house work or what ever and not giving the sub/slave any sexual pleasure in return is a "do me" domme, more than anything. Why don't these types get criticized?
Er....I personally think elaborate bondage scenes are pretty boring, it's not my fetish and I'm not really into it. This does not mean I am going to rant and whine and criticize all male subs for being into boring old bondage. I'm an adult, I'm responsible for picking my own play partners, and I don't have to respond to profiles that say "I am a bondage fetishist." I hope that other people who enjoy playing with bondage have lots of fun doing it, because that's their fetish. I don't criticize them because that would be a remarkably self-centered and immature thing to do.
Not everybody has the same fetishes as you do. There are a lot of people both dom and sub for whom D/s is primarily about service and servitude. That's their kink. If that is not your kink, then (duuh) don't play with people who are service oriented. You have every right to pick your own play partners and to refuse to play with people whose kinks don't match yours. You have much less right to insult other people for not having the same kinks as you.
quote:
When a man ask for sex he gets criticized and labeled as a "do me" but the point is, women enjoy the sex also. Whats worse? asking for sex or asking for someone to do your house work for nothing?
Neither. It's perfectly acceptable to ask anybody, politely, for anything. It's also perfectly acceptable for them to say no if they don't want to do that with you. It's less acceptable to whine and insult half the human race if you get turned down a lot when you ask for sex.
The funny thing is that I'm oriented a lot like you describe; I'm much more into the whole "captive sex slave" scenario than housework. But I'm careful about who I take to bed with me, for the obvious reasons of health and safety. Someone I'm that intimate with has to be someone I know and trust well. Also I'm picky, and I have no interest in using a slave for sex if he isn't intelligent, complex, interesting, mature and attractive to me on a personal level. So most BDSM play for me, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone, is not going to include any form of sex. If a sub whines about that because he is too focused on the selfish "do-me" perspective and not interested in taking the time to develop a relationship of trust, that's an instant turn-off and it's over right there.
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I think a sub or a male in particular has every right to complain about a certain unfairness as much as a domme or a woman does on a daily basis.
I think that a sub or a dom has the responsibility to take a good hard honest look at him or herself and ask the question while looking in the mirror, "Why am I not able to find a compatible partner?" If you really believe that the answer is "It's OTHER PEOPLE'S fault," you have some growing and maturing to do before you are ready to be anybody's partner.
The problem here is not, "Women suck, they're so mean, they really want sex as much as I do, they're just not having it with me because they're mean." The problem here is that you seem to believe this. That's a pretty big problem, and it' is very likely to keep you from finding a partner in your current state of mind and maturity.
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