How do you "start" a session

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How do you "start" a session

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How do you "start" a session

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How do you "start" a session - 3/7/2011 10:12:18 PM

WelshGuyUk

Posts: 23
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline

This may seem a strange question, but if you meet a new sub usually i would imagine it starts of talking in a vanilla manner about do's don'ts and all the safewords and agreements etc.

But how do you just go from normal chit chat, to starting in the scene/session what ever you wish to name it. In my head i can imagine it must be kinda awkward - how would you start from having a normal chat then straight into it. I can picture it in my head being quite awkward to the theme from a very vanilla situation before hand.

How do you recommend good ways to start off once both have agreed to play? Do you have any good ice breakers to start or any thing that you find is a good starting point to use ?

I'm meeting some one soon and i sense this situation may arise for me in due time if we get along well, and thus want to be prepared.

Post #: 1

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/7/2011 10:26:46 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I always yell, "1 - 2- 3- GO"

Seriously, during all that normal chit chat, you should have gotten a good idea of what your potential playmate likes. A simple question like, “do you wanna play now?” should get the ball rolling.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/7/2011 10:38:15 PM

Jennislut

Posts: 234
Joined: 2/24/2011
Status: offline

"OK, now that that's settled, get naked" usually works just fine in my books

_____________________________

i just popped in to say

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/7/2011 10:41:37 PM

YoungBlondeSlave

Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

For me it just sort of occurs if the chemistry is there. There's no real conscious decision to begin anything. Generally, I don't play with anyone after a first vanilla meeting. I use those, as most do, to test the waters and to make sure the other person isn't batshit crazy.

Sometimes I'll talk with my partner about some sort of scene/activity I want to try and generally there's a lot of time and effort and preparation put into it. But, sometimes a scene just sort of develops. However both of those have occurred with someone I've been in a R/T relationship with.

I think it all depends on the person you're with, their comfort level and simple chemistry between the two of you.

Don't overthink it too much, just go with the flow. If you think you're moving too quickly, or you get a feeling they think you are moving too quickly then talk to them about it and revisit their feelings about the situation.

_____________________________

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Salvador Dali

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/7/2011 11:38:51 PM

CarnalNightmare

Posts: 16
Joined: 3/6/2011
Status: offline

Nothing too elaborate. Just grabbing her hair and whispering vile things in her ear.

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 12:21:53 AM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

"I'm going to call you Jenna. Jenna, undress right now."

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to CarnalNightmare)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 12:37:07 AM

Jennislut

Posts: 234
Joined: 2/24/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

"I'm going to call you Jenna. Jenna, undress right now."

yeah - that sort of thing would work too

_____________________________

i just popped in to say

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 12:58:45 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

when i met master for teh first time in flesh so to speak (we were online for a while first) got to his flat and he took me to the bedroom showed me wher eto put things then said stand still do not move, then it went on from there.

(in reply to Jennislut)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 3:59:50 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

"C'mere."

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 4:24:57 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He started kissing me, pulling me back by the hair for a long, deep kiss. I just was putty in his hands after that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 6:10:38 AM

VATiki

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/14/2011
Status: offline

Just thoughts here from a new sub... I am assuming that you are not talking about playing on the first visit. I would think somewhere in your chats with the sub, you would discuss your desires and protocol. Things that would set the mind into gear for a scene. When you get to the point of having the details (the when and where) locked down, just confirm she understands what is expected of her. Maybe you might be going out to dinner or something, but when you get home, she knows she is to undress and wait on her knees for your attention. Then go from there.
Of course each person is different, so maybe asking them "Do you wanna play now?" as you grab a handful of her hair, then order her to undress woud be a good transition into a scene.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 8:16:34 AM

KrystalGoddess

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/4/2011
Status: offline

Every time I meet a new person for playtime..We just do a quick "Hello" and go over what were going to to do ..Then I start with the orders, laydown Etc.

Usually we have established what we wont do and want to do during chat..

(in reply to VATiki)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 9:22:39 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WelshGuyUk

This may seem a strange question, but if you meet a new sub usually i would imagine it starts of talking in a vanilla manner about do's don'ts and all the safewords and agreements etc.

But how do you just go from normal chit chat, to starting in the scene/session what ever you wish to name it. In my head i can imagine it must be kinda awkward - how would you start from having a normal chat then straight into it. I can picture it in my head being quite awkward to the theme from a very vanilla situation before hand.

How do you recommend good ways to start off once both have agreed to play? Do you have any good ice breakers to start or any thing that you find is a good starting point to use ?

I'm meeting some one soon and i sense this situation may arise for me in due time if we get along well, and thus want to be prepared.

Temet Nosce first and foremost.

If you are a top, learn to be the best top you can be and do not ever delude yourself into thinking you are or can be more than what is natural and comfortable to you. Being a Dom may have you thinking all the lil subby boys and girls are going to come running to you, but a lot of the lil subby types are bottoms that want a fukin awesome top.

I am a Dom and by no stretch of the imagination am I a top. My play is private, primal and reserved for the girls in my life.

Be very clear on who you are and what your dynamic is and how "ON" you are. Being a great Top will take you a lot farther in the lifestyle, play life, than being a great Dom, that is a very personal thing. If you are Dom Top, even gooder, but be very clear on the shit you sign up for or the shit you allow someone to sign up for.

YMMV

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 10:25:54 AM

WelshGuyUk

Posts: 23
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline

Hmm was hopeing for a bit more detail on things you guys do to start off :(

I don't want to go straight into giving a girl a spank unless she broke a rule nor go into having fun in bed because she ain't earned her pleasures either.

I often in my mind think i should start her off with being my foot rest as my mind always wants that when im in the situation... but then in my mind i often think - how can i make a better impact and exciting start from the word go?

I can build to it but not go from nothing to something thats the issue it feels a bit strange.

< Message edited by WelshGuyUk -- 3/8/2011 10:26:43 AM >

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 10:37:50 AM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

In fact I was thinking of posting a similar question because I've been curious to know how others segue from meeting to dominating.

For me what has generally worked is saying something like, "So you want to submit to me, huh? Okay, get down on your knees and ask me for permission to submit." Of course this doesn't take place until we are somewhere private.

OP, you might start out with a memorized "formula" for what you're going to say and do. You can always alter that when the time comes and elaborate on it as you gain more experience. A "formula" first scene might include telling the sub ...

1. To undress.
2. To kneel. (And how do you want that? Eyes down? Eyes on you? Forehead touching the floor ... ?)
3. To ask for permission to submit to you.
4. To kiss your shoes.
5. To address you using a specific title or name.
6. Any rules or expectations you have, how you like to be pleased, etc.

From there you might have the sub perform chores, tasks, sexual acts, whatever you think works best for both your comfort levels.

Spy

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 10:51:24 AM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jennislut

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

"I'm going to call you Jenna. Jenna, undress right now."

yeah - that sort of thing would work too

Oh I bet it would.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to Jennislut)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 10:53:13 AM

willbeurdaddy

Posts: 11894
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

Any simple act that acknowledges her/his submission and your Dominance is fine, and it should be natural and voluntary. A (now formerly!) vanilla girl I dated off and on for years got the D/s ball rolling very simply and, imo, elegantly. After we got back from a concert she got undressed (nothing out of the ordinary with that), and without any words handed me a blindfold and turned so I could tie it on her (very out of the ordinary until then). Briliant? no. But that she found a way to signify that she was handing me her trust without me instructing her how made it much more meaningful.

_____________________________

Hear the lark
and harken
to the barking of the dogfox,
gone to ground.

(in reply to SpyUnderCover)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 11:34:34 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Our first official "play session" was something very simple: sharing a bath together.
It deftly got over the nudity hurdle (I'm quite shy), and he established his control even whilst he was bathing me.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 5:03:22 PM

Mishna

Posts: 70
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline

I have a protocol in place for play. If a sub comes over (obviously not the first time), he has rules. Go into the play space, lose the clothes, put on whatever I have laying out for him to wear (collar, blindfold, etc), and then he kneels in a specific area until I am ready to begin the scene. It's the same every time, sets the tone from the moment he walks through the door.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 5:06:28 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

I don't

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How do you "start" a session

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109