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RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 6:08:40 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I've never thought of how to start a session before.

Must be something I say or the way I look and it happens organically.

Initiate Kinky Sequence Please Mistress Domme.

Initiating Kinky Sequence Submissive Slavey.

Execute Command, Submissive Slavey.

Executing Command Mistress Domme.

That one time where there was candy under a box with a stick and string attached to it. Classic. s

So if I want it I would ask ever so nicely with please and end with a thank you. If my partner would want it manners are not so necessary. That is just my flavor though.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 21

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 6:46:05 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

in my last relationship, i never really thought of "scenes," it was usually just something he wanted to do (and i obviously didn't have a problem with it =p), or it was foreplay, or part of sex. i initiated a few times, once by harassing his nipples with a popsicle while we were watching a movie. =p
sometimes he would have a plan, but he wouldn't clue me in. if i was coming over, he'd matter-of-factly tell me what he wanted me to wear or bring with me, and what to do when i got there. the rest was up to him.

since i've been going to parties, there's this odd tension between people; it's rarely organic, and there's rarely the context that i really groove on (the power exchange), and sometimes you don't see anyone for a month. that said, one of my most memorable rope scenes started with a "if you're not busy, i'd like to see how tightly i can get you tied up." needless to say, it was pretty awesome.

i don't play often, just every once in a while. i've found that the context is more and more important to me; there's always something missing without it.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 22

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/8/2011 7:01:09 PM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

Try getting to know the woman (not girl).

Spanking is fun for a lot of us, not a punishment.

And what does she have to do to get fun in bed??? a 60 min blow job?????

It takes 2 for a relationship, it isnt only about what you want.

If you ever find the right person, it tends to flow naturally.

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 23

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 2:55:14 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarnalNightmare

Nothing too elaborate. Just grabbing her hair and whispering vile things in her ear.

I was just going to say that.

(in reply to CarnalNightmare)

Post #: 24

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 8:26:32 PM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline

I generally do all of my scene negotiation ahead of time. If not in person, via email (oh the humanity!) but either way, when we negotiate, there's no top/bottom/Domme/servant dynamic. It's me to you...you to me....what's okay, what's not and all the other things that get discussed. Then we set up a date to meet.

For me (and heavens, people, this is just me. you can do whatever you like!) I use a different name when I play, it helps me differentiate the two worlds. When I was married to my Domme, she would never use my real name in the context of our dynamic--she would call me "boy." and that was my cue as to where we were.

So in other words, and I'll use a ridiculous example here....if my Domme said "[real name], you forgot to take out the trash again, I'm getting sick of reminding you and we need to do something about it" I knew we had to sit down and discuss it. Instead, if it was the same phrase but began with "Boy" it meant, go upstairs and get into position.

Because I no longer reside in the households that I serve, when I am present there, it's within a certain context and I am within my role as domestic servant from the moment I walk through the door. I have a hard time engaging in casual (vanilla) banter one minute, and then clicking back over to servant. I often get summoned, and I know that when that happens, certain demeanor is expected of me when I arrive.

good luck. have fun.

< Message edited by hausboy -- 3/9/2011 8:28:05 PM >

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 25

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 8:48:20 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

How to start a session?

"Knees, now."

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HST

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 26

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 9:13:08 PM

TheShrew

Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline

Hmm was hopeing for a bit more detail on things you guys do to start off :(
They gave you some good tips on how to initiate ..

I don't want to go straight into giving a girl a spank unless she broke a rule nor go into having fun in bed because she ain't earned her pleasures either.
If you don't want to begin this way, then don't.

I often in my mind think i should start her off with being my foot rest as my mind always wants that when im in the situation... but then in my mind i often think - how can i make a better impact and exciting start from the word go?
If you want to use her as a foot rest, then do so. It seems, to me, a perfectly reasonable position with regard to setting the tone of a PE. {Perhaps, this is the opportune moment to discuss the series of events to follow, with her}

I doubt anyone can give you much more detailed examples of how to proceed from there, because everyone has the type of play that they enjoy and/or intend to partake of. Someone may give you advice on how to segue from cropping to caning... but flogging may be what you had in mind. I would suggest you begin with getting the series of events you wish to transpire laid out in your mind beforehand.

< Message edited by TheShrew -- 3/9/2011 9:33:32 PM >

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 27

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 10:31:24 PM

CherryNeko

Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline

If she's a new sub, why don't you introduce her to the room you have prepared? Yeah! Ask if she's ready before opening the door. That should work I guess.

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 28

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 10:47:22 PM

MaxsGirl

Posts: 355
Joined: 12/2/2010
From: The Arctic Circle
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Our first official "play session" was something very simple: sharing a bath together.
It deftly got over the nudity hurdle (I'm quite shy), and he established his control even whilst he was bathing me.

Funny, that's exactly how Alpha first played with me.

And it worked very well for us, too.

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Collared Fox and
Future Thru-Hiker!

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 29

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/9/2011 11:23:13 PM

icemancac

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/14/2010
From: San Antonio
Status: offline

I feel that there are many ways to start a scene. From public play, to private, the signals two partners share drives the other into action. From a sub becoming more tender and attentive and arousing their dom unwittingly(or not!) to a resistive slave that causes a Master to demand control, these signals create the exchange of power. Some people need the ceremony, the drama and flair to help push their minds into sub-space. Others can naturally fall from average Joe to Super Slut just from seeing their Mistress in stockings.

For me? Some times it starts with a ceremony, I have her sit on the edge of the bed and I tell her how to sit. I then show her the restraints and and tell her how to hold out her arms so that I can put them on. Some times it is with the collar instead of the restraints, sometimes both. Other times I have her sit at my feet and when I pet her head it is the cue she takes to start going into her subspace. Thats it, sometimes just a touch. Other times a ceremony to help set the mood and tone of the play I am about to start.

When I play Master and Slave, the roles are firmly announced, "Come here slut", "Down, Stay, Spread", "Bitch lay down". I also do Daddy Dom and it isn't that often you start that play in the same manner! In those instances it can start with me asking her to wear something in particular before she even comes over, and from the moment I answer the door it has begun. At other times I pull out a ring-pop or sprees from my drawer and she knows that it is time to be 'Baby-Girl" and listen to Daddy so that she can get her treat.

The communication you develop with your partner will go from the verbal to non-verbal from day one. There will come a time when subtle changes in both parties behavior will naturally create the scene, and still others where the ceremony and presentation will. Try to find what signals you naturally respond to and desire. Express these with your partner. And learn!

C.

(in reply to MaxsGirl)

Post #: 30

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/10/2011 3:38:14 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Assuming I know the person and that they are experienced.. I wander in with my pain giving flogger over my shoulder, falls hanging down my bare chest and a crop in the other hand and state that my inner sadist needs a work out.. OR I comment that I am feeling sadistic at the moment..

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D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 31

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/10/2011 4:46:47 AM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarnalNightmare

Nothing too elaborate. Just grabbing her hair and whispering vile things in her ear.

This sounds about right

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formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to CarnalNightmare)

Post #: 32

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/10/2011 5:50:24 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WelshGuyUk

This may seem a strange question, but if you meet a new sub usually i would imagine it starts of talking in a vanilla manner about do's don'ts and all the safewords and agreements etc.

I'm not sure if you mean the sub is new as in never having participated in BDSM activities, or if she is new
to you relationship wise. If this is her first entrance into kink activities, communication will be your best foreplay.
Since you have yet to meet her, you have the opportunity to learn what her interests are (physically) and can start
to develop a plan of action from that knowledge.

If she has had previous BDSM experiences, but your relationship with her is new, the segue from normal chit chat
to intimacy shouldn't be much different, although the bells and whistles are alot louder.

Best wishes to you both!

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 33

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/10/2011 7:59:55 AM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

"C'mere."

Works for me.

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Post #: 34

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/10/2011 8:18:31 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I always yell, "1 - 2- 3- GO"

Seriously, during all that normal chit chat, you should have gotten a good idea of what your potential playmate likes. A simple question like, “do you wanna play now?” should get the ball rolling.

I use a starter pistol.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 35

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/10/2011 8:31:24 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

How do you recommend good ways to start off once both have agreed to play? Do you have any good ice breakers to start or any thing that you find is a good starting point to use ?

He might say "get naked" or "hold still" (while he puts on a collar and/or a blindfold.)

This puts me into subspace and I become compliant and submissive, unlike my outside-scene-space self ;)

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 36

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/11/2011 6:26:34 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

"I'm going to call you Jenna. Jenna, undress right now."

I like that one...mind if I use it sometime?

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

Post #: 37

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/11/2011 6:31:28 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

I don't want to go straight into giving a girl a spank unless she broke a rule nor go into having fun in bed because she ain't earned her pleasures either.

Why the fuck not? Why would you deny the two of you the pleasure of a spanking? Earned her pleasure?...in my books she earned it the day she was born.

quote:

I often in my mind think i should start her off with being my foot rest as my mind always wants that when im in the situation... but then in my mind i often think - how can i make a better impact and exciting start from the word go?

How...by going straight to the spanking & fucking...save the footrest bit for after...while you enjoy a smoke and check out what's on TV.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to WelshGuyUk)

Post #: 38

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/11/2011 6:33:58 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

Any simple act that acknowledges her/his submission and your Dominance is fine, and it should be natural and voluntary. A (now formerly!) vanilla girl I dated off and on for years got the D/s ball rolling very simply and, imo, elegantly. After we got back from a concert she got undressed (nothing out of the ordinary with that), and without any words handed me a blindfold and turned so I could tie it on her (very out of the ordinary until then). Briliant? no. But that she found a way to signify that she was handing me her trust without me instructing her how made it much more meaningful.

That's actually really HAWT Willbe

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to willbeurdaddy)

Post #: 39

RE: How do you "start" a session - 3/12/2011 12:59:42 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

OK, for situations where I am meeting a new bottom whom I will Top for a day:

1) Vanilla meet, chat and cuppa, discuss likes/dislikes, limits, safewords, aftercare etc etc!

2) Preferably a day or 2 later (allow cooling off and being sure this is what you want time), they turn up for a play date.

3) I greet them politely but they are to immediately call Me Ma'am so it's not as vanilla as the previous meeting. We chit chat for a while and I reiterate the summary of our prior discussion so it's all clear.

4) I like them to perform some useful domestic service so I usually stand when I am done chatting, hand them a duster or a broom and say "Here's what I want you to do" and then give very precise instructions. Some boys really want to serve naked or in a maid's dress or whatever ... depends on My mood whether I pander to that or not.

5) I keep an eye on them whilst they are performing their service BUT I also get on with something useful so they get a sense that they are saving Me time. I inspect the job when they are done and I only find fault if it is genuinely there, I don't make up shit just to pretend punish.

6) Once they are done, and I have inspected, and hopefully praised, then I say something like "Well you have been a good boy, and a good boy deserves his reward! So, get naked for Me!" I remain clothed and watch carefully as they strip, if they don't automatically fold their clothes they are chided and made to do so ... it all enforces the dynamic.

7) I transition into full on play with a medical inspection. I have them stand naked in anatomical position (look it up) and go over their body, touching parts at will, walking around behind them while making them stay eyes straight ahead, and I ask if they have illnesses, previous damage (broken bones, injured shoulders etc).

8) Once done with that, I ask them one last time "Is it your will today to submit to Me?" and if they say yes, I have them kneel and kiss My foot ... and from there I go wherever I want! Usually I move quite soon into any impact play (spanking, flogging) and no, it's NOT because they have broken any rules (I don't punish as a rule and if I do, it won't be with any activity I enjoy and that they may enjoy!). It's because I like keeping an eye on how their skin responds and pales through the rest of the scene time.

OK was THIS specific enough OP??
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 40

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