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Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 8:33:00 AM   
hisdevin


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/7/2011
Status: offline 		Yes, yes, another collar problem.

My hair gets stuck in the buckle. More information below, but I want to explain where we are in terms of collars and why I'm not going to be changing styles right away. I need advice on the hair, not the collar.

My master and I are finally returning to the lifestyle after a break of a couple of years. We have a child, and as she gets older and more aware, we've had to be more secretive about what is going on between us. I know that not all children notice these things. Ours does. So this isn't a matter of us being unnecessarily worried like some lifestyle couples are. She notices everything. Moreover, about two years ago, Master lost his job and we were going through a lot of strain generally. The stress and consuming depression of the time period made neither of us particularly interested in pursuing one another at all and lifestyle is tough to maintain even during the best of times.

Things have returned to normal, and I approached him asking whether or not we both still wanted this. We do. But we're taking our time.

I'm telling you all of this to explain why changing the collar isn't an option at the moment. In our relationship, I've always begged the collar, including "upgrades." In this case, a change in collar would be a major upgrade. Long story, the steel collar that I had early on is gone (stolen during a period when I couldn't wear it publicly). What I wear now is a simple, unlined dog collar. It is comfortable enough other than the face that it isn't particularly discrete (but that's what my wedding ring is for; public collar). If, and when, we both feel that we are moving forward with our lifestyle again and are headed in the right direction concerning my submission (since I am not naturally submissive), then I will beg another metal collar of some sort, probably an Eternity collar.

So there's the history here. The problem is that my long hair gets caught in the buckle of the collar. It pulls and breaks the hair. I am a "long hair person," meaning that I baby my hair. I do everything in my power not to break it. I don't brush it and I rarely comb it (finger combing only). I don't shampoo my hair or blow dry it. I don't even use expensive conditioners because they contain damaging agents. It might sound funny, but I baby my hair with cheap hair care!

I just had to do a major chop so that I could get a straight hemline. I went from nearly BCL (butt crack length lol) to just past BSL (bra strap length) but I have my straight hem. I don't want to lose that hem! It cost me a lot to get it :(

Any suggestions for what I can do with my hair to stop it getting caught in the buckle? Or is there a way to cover the buckle so that it's not a problem? I have to take the collar off in the shower and bath, but otherwise wear it all the time.

I would cover my hair, by the way, except that Master prefers to see it ;)
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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 8:37:56 AM   
gothikbutterfly


Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
Status: offline 		if i may make a suggestion...


As i am a long hair person my self, but never had it BCL, the easiest solution to my problem was to put it up in braid pigtails or some such, so that my hair stayed to either side of the collar, and never got caught. Another solution may be to put it up in a bun or ponytail on top of your head so it stays out of the way.

Good Luck.

slave raven

< Message edited by gothikbutterfly -- 3/10/2011 8:38:28 AM >

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 8:43:13 AM   
peachgirl


Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		any chance you can wear it with the buckle in the front? then it wouldn't be in the back to pull out your hair.

otherwise, you may be stuck with braids, ponytails etc.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 9:02:58 AM   
hisdevin


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/7/2011
Status: offline 		It looks strange with the buckle at the front. I've tried that.

I'm probably going to have to do the braids. The ponytail is still catching in the buckle because of the loose strands, and a single braid is also catching. Master doesn't particularly like this style though, which is why I was hoping for something else. He has specifically said that he doesn't like braids or buns. I asked him what else was there, and he couldn't answer. lol

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 10:42:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There are wide elastics, elastic covered in some kind of stretchy fabric. Like a mini head band. I wish I knew the name of them. Anyway look in the drugstore in the scrunchy aisle and see if you can find one. Or sew a small tube of fabric and use that. Cover the buckle with it.

My hair only gets caught in the velcro of one of the gags so I braid it high first. The other thing is that if you have one small lock that grows out from lower on your neck than the rest, and it's that piece that's getting caught, then you could trim that little underneath piece.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 3/10/2011 10:44:47 AM >

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 10:46:30 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Try putting a bit of shrink wrap tubing over the buckle.

Use a hot hairdryer over it to "shrink fit" the tubing and voila. Nice smooth surface that your hair wont get caught in.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 11:13:18 AM   
hisdevin


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/7/2011
Status: offline 		Ah! That will work. I hadn't thought of that at all. I'll have to have Master do it when he gets home tonight. I don't think that I can get the hairdrier at the back of my neck without hitting my hair. I don't use any heat on the hair so I need somebody more precise than me trying to do it at the back of my own head

No point in not using metal or plastic on my hair if it keeps getting caught in the buckle!

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 11:14:44 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You will have to redo it every time you shower though.Since you take it off when you bathe.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 3/10/2011 11:15:22 AM >

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 11:23:25 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Why not just get a collar that your hair doesn't get stuck in?

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 11:27:52 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		What Aileen said or don't wear it ?  

< Message edited by divi -- 3/10/2011 11:28:35 AM >

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 11:52:53 AM   
hisdevin


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/7/2011
Status: offline 		I thought I said that in the original post, but I might have lost track of what I was saying. That happens sometimes.

I will not be getting (begging) another collar from my master until I am ready for it. If, in the meantime, he chooses to just get me a different collar, that's something different, though I doubt that would happen in our relationship, since there is a precedent of me begging a new collar whenever that time comes. As we settle back in with one another, I very likely will go through the process again. But for now, this is the collar that I have, and I feel that it is appropriate.

Is there any reason not to wear a leather collar in the shower? I know water will ruin suede and this isn't suede, but will the water damage flat leather? The inner part is rough, and I'd worry about it getting rougher, but I have some leather oil. I can oil it.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 12:07:43 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		does it have to be begging for an upgrade?  Why not just point out the practicality of having a different style collar in order to preserve the hair you both treasure? Kinda like exchanging a dress in an unflattering color but nice style for one of the same style in a flattering color?

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 12:17:34 PM   
hisdevin


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/7/2011
Status: offline 		Huh. I hadn't actually thought of it that way.

Of course, my hair is more my treasure than it is his, I'm afraid. I'm the one who wants it to reach my knees. He's quite happy if I leave it where it is (but has given his blessing for me to grow it as far as I can get it to grow).

I will have that conversation with him and see what he says. I think we have a block of time set aside tonight to talk about things related to our lifestyle and where we're going this time around and this might be a good conversation for us to have.

I've always kind of thought of the steel collar as being "my" thing. I know that he prefers the leather due to practicality. But there might still be some options there. I've noticed that the locking buckles tend to be lighter on the hair and have fewer seams. And I know that would give him a thrill too!

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 12:22:32 PM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		Please don't shower in your leather collar. It should be cleaned with a leather cleaner, and often, at least twice a week, more if it seems to cause any irritation to your skin at all.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 12:24:57 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

does it have to be begging for an upgrade?  Why not just point out the practicality of having a different style collar in order to preserve the hair you both treasure? Kinda like exchanging a dress in an unflattering color but nice style for one of the same style in a flattering color?

This is what I would do, but it sounds like you also have lots of suggestions that will make the current collar work as well.

My hair is right in between BCL and BSL, and I never noticed it getting caught in the collar, which I only wear during Scenes. It is a $20 fetish store collar.

If I had a minor child I would wear a collar that could pass as jewelry. I see the Eternity Collars start at $85 on Eternitycollar.com. With a little patience and imagination, you can find something more affordable.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 12:34:29 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisdevin

It looks strange with the buckle at the front. I've tried that.

I'm probably going to have to do the braids. The ponytail is still catching in the buckle because of the loose strands, and a single braid is also catching. Master doesn't particularly like this style though, which is why I was hoping for something else. He has specifically said that he doesn't like braids or buns. I asked him what else was there, and he couldn't answer. lol


Just a slightly confused Dom's observation here - but how do you figure the buckle looks "strange" at the front?

I like collars.... I like a subtle public collar that's our secret rather than it being overtly socially provocative. But when it's just us, I wanna see the full-on physical and symbolic signs of ownership a dog-collar style portrays. So yeah, broadish strap, 'D' rings, a name tag and maybe a few studs etc and most especially the machinations of a buckle sitting prominently over her throat.

To me, it's "black & white".... Your daughter would qualify as "public", if seeing you wear a dog collar is the concern. If so, it kinda makes me wonder if you're ashamed of your needs and desires. But ok, it's not what kids see so much as what they innocently share with others....

To me, it isn't the buckle, it's about what standards you wish to set for your child while still being *you*. Is she bracketed as "public" - or private....? Either way, you need two different collars - assuming your master (and you) also likes the ownership symbolism of a dog collar.

Focus.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 12:38:25 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisdevin

Ah! That will work. I hadn't thought of that at all. I'll have to have Master do it when he gets home tonight. I don't think that I can get the hairdrier at the back of my neck without hitting my hair. I don't use any heat on the hair so I need somebody more precise than me trying to do it at the back of my own head

No point in not using metal or plastic on my hair if it keeps getting caught in the buckle!

Glad I was able to help. If it is a leather collar, wearing it in the shower is a REALLY bad idea both for your collar and the skin under it.

Good luck.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 1:00:21 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		like others have said, showering in a leather collar is really not a good idea.

and, like kalikshama, i wouldn't wear a "socially provocative" collar (as Focus put it) around my kids. i suppose it depends on what you believe will work for your family, but that's just my . there are extremely passable ones at bondagecollars.com, for example.

perhaps if you explain how important your hair is to you (more than likely he already knows but doesn't see the problem the buckle is causing because he isn't wearing it/dealing with it every day), he might take it upon himself to get you a different collar for everyday, and you can save the leather one for special occasions, like playing, or whenever he wants you to wear it at home -- that might lessen the risk of snagging?





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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 2:46:06 PM   
VATiki


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/14/2011
Status: offline 		If He does not want to see the buckle, why couldn't you get a wide piece of elastic, that would cover the buckle. Fold it in half and then sew the ends to where it is almost like a wrist band. Slip the elastic loop onto the collar before putting it on. Once buckled, you can slip the elastic over the buckle to prevent it from pulling your hair. Otherwise, if He is like Focus, just turn it around and have the buckle upfront.

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RE: Collar Problem (Hair) - 3/10/2011 3:22:58 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		stopping back by to say that this thread makes me happy to have anti-gravity hair. =p

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