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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/12/2011 7:21:16 PM

servantforuse

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If you really plan on doing this, don't move to Milwaukee. Global warming is not happening here. You will get very cold sleeping in your car in this area.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/12/2011 7:32:12 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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I wouldn't recommend it for Michigan either. Although, except for winters, the weathers pretty nice here.

I was just thinking of how many homeless I see begging at the corners on my way to the Y every day

This topic makes me sad.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/12/2011 9:07:14 PM

windchymes

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I was also going to suggest the tent & camping for the duration, take the southern route across the country. Or, if it's feasible, trade in the car for a small used camper. Actually, I think it sounds kinda fun.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/12/2011 10:44:34 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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it would be a turn off to me yes. Unless it was an rv an meant to live out of.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IsaNova

As long as you can keep showered, clean clothes, etc and hopefully find & work a job, is it a big turn-off for people that you live out of your car?

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 12:39:46 AM

DapperDom30

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My advice is take a long, hard look at stellauk's post, since her post seems the most similar to your situation.

From an onlookers perspective, i echo Arpigs comments/Questions? Why are you doing it? The why is very important here. Are you just running away from something? doing it for the hell of it? whats the purpose?

I spent a lot of community service hours working with the homeless during my law school days (no it was not court ordered) and let me offer some advice from that perspective. The people I worked with came from every walk of life, crack whores, veterans, loonies, and the list goes on... The system is not ready to take care of all of them, and the violence against that "community"... the numbers are staggering....

I question why you would put yourself in that situation on purpose.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 4:03:07 AM

Aileen1968

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IsaNova

Hello A/all,

I was curious if anyone could tell me a bit about being submissive and homeless, whilst being either active in a relationship or in the community. I'm considering moving across country, and probably looking at spending the summer living in my car at least for part of the summer. I did the same this past October, but it was a sudden thing and not planned.

As long as you can keep showered, clean clothes, etc and hopefully find & work a job, is it a big turn-off for people that you live out of your car? Does it affect how people see you in the community much if at all? Etc.

I would be much more impressed with someone who put their time and effort into doing something adventurous while having all of their bases covered.
This just screams dysfunction to me and would be someone I would avoid.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 5:19:15 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: rick1283

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

The home for wayward subbies is under my bridge.

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you must have a massive bridge by now

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 1:48:18 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: IsaNova

Hello A/all,

I was curious if anyone could tell me a bit about being submissive and homeless, whilst being either active in a relationship or in the community. I'm considering moving across country, and probably looking at spending the summer living in my car at least for part of the summer. I did the same this past October, but it was a sudden thing and not planned.

As long as you can keep showered, clean clothes, etc and hopefully find & work a job, is it a big turn-off for people that you live out of your car? Does it affect how people see you in the community much if at all? Etc.

I would be much more impressed with someone who put their time and effort into doing something adventurous while having all of their bases covered.
This just screams dysfunction to me and would be someone I would avoid.

Pretty much the same thought here. Master's comment was that being involved with someone that doesn't think things through and will most likely become a "cinderella sub" (rescue me!) isn't an attractive thought.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 3:28:52 PM

MaxsGirl

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It's easy to make yourself homeless. It's much harder to reverse that decision when the shine wears off (which it very quickly will, believe me). I lived in my car for a short time last year, and it was not a pleasant experience. Thankfully I had a lifeline already in place, so I was able to pull myself out of the situation. Unless you have a plan to get yourself out, don't do it. And please don't expect a future Dom to "rescue" you - it puts both of you in a bad position, and is a pretty unhealthy way to go about any kind of relationship.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 7:34:01 PM

hausboy

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Holy shit. Thanks for sharing that Stella--I didn't even read her profile....and realize she was also transgendered.

An absolute recipe for disaster.

OP--IsaNova-- so many of your transgender brothers and sisters end up on streets against their best efforts--to knowingly put yourself there is insane....and worrying about acceptance as a sub is the least of your worries then.

Focus on yourself, your life and getting to a stable place. That will be far more enticing to a prospective Domme.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 8:35:26 PM

babygurlangel

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I have been on the brink of homelessness plenty of times... The thoughts that ran through my head had nothing to do with romance and all to do with finding somewhere to spend the night or longer... Whether you have a car or not.. admittedly having a car is better than nothing.. I won't say you shouldn't go out and met people in the local community if you do it.. because lets face it most of us if we are set on doing something no one saying we shouldn't will stop us.. but you shouldn't look for a romance partner until after you get on your feet and get your own place, get yourself in order then look for someone. Most people looking for a relationship are looking for someone that has their shit together first and foremost.. since that is the most important thing. Just my 2 cents on the matter.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/13/2011 9:47:08 PM

faena

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hi, i'm a trans also and was once on the road for months. it scared me totally. i was hitch hiking, i was young and very lucky. i lived on the strip in Atlanta GA for awhile and pretty much starved myself. dope was flowing and narcs were everywhere, but i was lucky. i found a place to stay, but no real food and a job was out of the question as i was in full bloom. i'm lucky i was not killed. but i am also lucky that i met some wonderful people. it was the most magical time of my life. i had nothing, and i had nothing to lose. i was molested a few times, but i enjoyed it. i even met another trans, but did not know until later. i finally got sick and thumbed back home getting molested again... yeesh. guess i'm easy. but i am definitly a sub and always react that way.

i'm lucky i had a stable home to come back to. i learned to meditate and tried to fit into society with some success. i guess i did well and now have possesions and stuff. last year i decided to go out into the world again; leave my home behind and just go. this time on a sailboat i am still building. i began searching and trying to meet people. i met some wonderful people on collarme actually. in fact i intend to try and meet some of these people in person on my trip. but then something strange happened. i met an old girlfriend from highschool. we had both had similar experiences and both have similar loves and dreams. so i will visit her when i go out to sea. i sort of have a home away from home. being on a sailboat is not like living in a car. and i do have all sorts of backups. but i think it is probably a really good idea to look around for people from a postition of strength and not wait until you are on the road and sort of desparate. i think most of the warnings on this post are probably correct. always have a good exit strategy! then your foray into the world can have a different sort of value for you than just being abused. which will happen for sure. it is the nature of the world. but it's not all abuse. go out and have your adventure. just make sure you can light somewhere if you need to, and not just in your car.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 12:18:55 AM

gungadin09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IsaNova
I was curious if anyone could tell me a bit about being submissive and homeless, whilst being either active in a relationship or in the community. I'm considering moving across country, and probably looking at spending the summer living in my car at least for part of the summer. I did the same this past October, but it was a sudden thing and not planned.

As long as you can keep showered, clean clothes, etc and hopefully find & work a job, is it a big turn-off for people that you live out of your car? Does it affect how people see you in the community much if at all? Etc.

OP, a lot depends on whether this is temporary or permanent. Several questions come up.

*Why* are you moving across the country?
Do you have a specific destination?
Do you know anyone out there?
Do you have a job lined up? What do you mean "hopefully" find work?
How hard is it for you to find a job?
Is it safe?
Do you know the area?
Is it just for the summer, or indefinitely?
What's your motivation for living in your car, rather than renting? Because you're trying to save money? Because you're driving across the country? (That doesn't take the whole summer.)
Are you looking for Someone who will do some kind of financial Domination?
If you're trying to save money, why drive across country? Why not look for a job where you already live? Are you running away from something?
Do you have money to fix the car if it breaks? To stay at a hotel while they fix it?
What would you do if the car got stolen? If you got hurt or assaulted?
Etc.

OP- i'm not going to tell you it's a crazy idea. i don't think you're unspooled for considering it. But you need to have a plan, and an escape route if something goes wrong. Otherwise (several people have said it) you could get yourself in a bad situation and not be able to get out.

And, frankly, i can imagine why you list finding a Dom, or what the BDSM community thinks, as major problems. If i were about to be homeless, those things would be at the very bottom of my list of priorities.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 3/14/2011 12:20:18 AM >

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 1:58:23 AM

LadyPact

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Once upon a time, I was young and stupid. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I did the same foolish thing. How in the fuck I got over, I swear to you that I don't know.

Look. This really isn't twenty years ago. The whole world was different then.

To this day, I refuse to take cold showers. That was My big deal. Hot fucking water to wash My hair. What a freaking luxury! Hot water. Yep, that was it. I sound so cavalier about it now, but that hot shower that I take for granted today is something that I wanted so much back then. Just... hot.... water.

I can't make your choices for you. Just don't do stupid shit.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 6:54:57 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I would be much more impressed with someone who put their time and effort into doing something adventurous while having all of their bases covered.
This just screams dysfunction to me and would be someone I would avoid.

This. Worry more about getting your shit together first. What are you giving yourself? What can you offer another?

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 7:02:39 AM

Azraelwitch

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I just hope you are careful whatever you do, it is dangerous for people in the city and even in the middle of nowhere. I had a homeless girl move in with me and jump right in to slavery, and it did not work out well at all. We only wanted to give her a home, but anyway, it puts you at a marked disadvantage when negotiating bdsm safety and relations... Sure you can meet some fine folks but theres always the crazy person out there that will lock someone up in a basement and commit acts of nonconsensual pain. Im sure you knew that but please just think. There are shelters to live in at least while finding work.If i come off like a screwed up twisted social worker I apologize.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 10:31:13 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
How hard is it for you to find a job?

Well, if she's thinking Southern California, it will be damned hard. Master has had people with PhD's applying to pump gas. I know recent high school grads that have been looking for 2 years.

We also already have a large homeless population which means that homeless services are hard to come by. So many in fact, that things can become aggressive.

I just can't imagine becoming willingly homeless......

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 11:06:45 AM

cunninglnguist87

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I gotta throw my 2 cents in here.

I packed up all of my stuff, got on a plane and moved across the ocean to a foreign country-where I didnt speak the language and I was fine. But I found a job BEFORE I did that. This is important.

Homelessness is no joke. I just lost someone really close to me because of it- and there was nothing I could do to help him. :(

Please think about the consequences of this before you consider doing it.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 3:36:13 PM

kiwisub12

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I worked with a woman who lived in her car for a while.

She smelled.

And the scary thing was that she didn't see anything wrong with living in a car with her high school aged daughter.

My very small point is, is that she had hygiene issues even though she worked at a hospital where she could grab a shower. And hygiene issues are a pretty big block to getting any sort of job.

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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 10:12:21 PM

IsaNova

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Yikes!

Ok please permit me to clarify.

I did live in my car for a month this past October. Being Alaska and the start of winter, it sure wasn't a fun experience. What I am thinking of is that, when I move, I might consider spending 1-2 months this summer out of my car. I'd put the bulk of my items in storage, use my gym for showering and a laundromat. I can manage a way or three to prepare food, so I will at least try to stay off the fast food living (something I did then, but don't normally eat).

The purpose is a few things, first it will give me time to find a place rather than rushing into one I haven't had the chance to see or visit (making arraignments online/phone) I want to find a job first, even though it be menial work. That way I can avoid living somewhere that is A) horrible or B) opposite end of town from my work.

I'm not moving into a D/s relationship exactly, but I do have a friend there who's expressed some interest. They aren't in a place that they can support me with room and board nor would I wish them to. (without me contributing and without having had time to get to know eachother beyond the internet).

I guess my concern was in introducing myself to a new local community. I've only been in one before, and I feel I kind of am not very good at making good impressions. What I am thinking is, whether it's ok to make friends in the community while still in that homeless adjustment period, as long as I am clean dressed and do not make a hubbub about my situation. I wouldn't expect anything more than meeting friends and maybe a casual play-partner or two, but I do not want to meet someone who is perfect then have them turned off by me just having moved to the area and not having the cash for getting a weekly/monthly hotel/motel room.

OTOH, if I do wait then at what point do I join the community... it's all to easy to wait until things are right, until life is less hectic, until everything's perfect... and never get around to it.

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