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RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 10:21:06 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

Sounds like a plan. Good luck!

pam

P.S.- Please look seriously into job options before you go anywhere. i've been looking for work since November and i, too, would take menial labor if i could get it. Don't assume because you're willing to clean toilets or flip burgers that a job will be easy to find. Maybe ask your friends if you can use them as a mailing address.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 3/14/2011 10:28:07 PM >

(in reply to IsaNova)

Post #: 41

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 11:32:56 PM

stellauk

Posts: 1360
Status: offline

Having read your other posts I can understand the 'yikes'.

I'm going to advise you three essentials okay?

1. Make friends. While they may not be able to help you with practical stuff they're an essential source of emotional support, motivation, validation and inspiration.

2. Internet access. I'm like you, most people generally misunderstand me or misinterpret me on first contact and the Internet is an essential tool for setting things up for real time meetings.

3. Be useful. Reach out to people, be there for them, do stuff for them, even if it doesn't look as if you're going to get anything back out of it at first. Share everything you know and everything you can do.

All of the above are essential for developing a support network. Try not to think about The Community and fitting in with it, partly because you won't and partly - more importantly - you're constantly going to be examining yourself critically and thinking in ways which isn't going to keep you feeling confident.

Instead think about forming your own community and being a part of other people's communities. It breaks it down into manageable chunks.

See here in London, I cannot by any stretch of the imagination be considered part of the community because I don't maintain regular enough contact with it. I come and I go. Thing is, I know people, people online and people offline. It took time but most of these people came from this website and some from these boards.

Another thing I would advise is to 'be seen to be doing' and 'be seen to be involved.' This will wipe out any prejudice or reservations about you because you're new to the area, transgendered, whatever. People won't even notice.

It takes time to get a new life together, a new support network and to become accepted into a new community. But as long as you keep in touch with people and keep reaching out and being there for them it will all come together.

But above all, believe in yourself, and never ever ever give up, not on the people close to you and certainly not on yourself.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 42

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/14/2011 11:52:38 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

I have been in the OPs situation before.Its not something I normally care to mention but considering what this thread is all about.It is not a fun situation to be put in.Mine wasn't by choice.The most important issues are finding a place to sleep,getting food and finding places to shower.IT SUCKS!!Don't put yourself in that situation on purpose.I did meet some very nice people who helped me out.I will say this,it taught me to be humble and to appericate the smaller things in life.The odd thing in my situation is that I actually did happen to meet some Dommes who were very nice to me.It was very rare.It just happened to be one of those bizarre situations.Still,my submission was not my main goal..For me,finding a reliable safe place to live was my main goal.I finally found a job and got out of that situation.However,the way the economy is these days,that would probaly be much harder now.OP,don't put yourself in that situation.It is not a fun life for anyone.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 3/14/2011 11:55:01 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to stellauk)

Post #: 43

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/15/2011 1:39:32 AM

kissheels

Posts: 656
Joined: 3/8/2011
From: Inside Your Mind
Status: offline

i think you should take care of yourself (get on your feet) first before thinking of serving a Dominant, i am a sub but i dont think this would be attractive to any Dom/me (sub living in a car) Dom/mes want to be proud of their sub, show them off,

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ßε ϽгϵαҭїѴε Ӏӣvεит α Ƨἐxụᾳḻ Ṕὲṟvἕr§ìοи !!!

(in reply to Charles6682)

Post #: 44

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/15/2011 12:37:08 PM

RRBJR

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/13/2011
Status: offline

If your moving across country to be with someone, make sure before you leave were you are, a way to get back or some place secure. I suggest you have at least a prepaid cell phone because you will need to be able to have a way for an employer contact you if you look for work.
I was a runaway child as a teen and spent several years on the streets. I ran because things were worst at home than the street. It formed the man and I have no regrets. But being homeless is brutal because society overall think of you as less than human. That is just blunt and true. Master Bo

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 45

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/20/2011 7:14:05 AM

oldbabyface

Posts: 56
Joined: 7/13/2010
From: West Midlands, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faena
i learned to meditate and tried to fit into society with some success.

This is how you get yourself, and ultimately your life, together.

_____________________________

Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible.

Francis Bacon

(in reply to faena)

Post #: 46

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/20/2011 4:33:42 PM

mistressko

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline

Maybe this has been covered. Maybe not. I find it somewhat offensive that anyone would think homeless was cool or trendy or anything but crap. (I'm not saying ANY of you said that, just the idea that someone chooses homeless implies to me that they must think that)

Where I live people go bankrupt every day. The homeless shelters are over full. Dogs and cats run around homeless because the owners just couldn't take care of them anymore. Blocks and communities sit with tumbleweeds because the builders went bankrupt before they could sell even one house - the regulation here is that all utilities must be wired in, so imagine suburbs of prairie with streets, sidwalks, streetlamps and fire hydrants. No joking.

In a fifteen minute drive this weekend I passed six people picking bottles from the ditch, not homeless looking but the kind who most likely do so just to have the gas money to go to work. A guy was arrested at a Mcdonald's for taking food off the tables (when people were finished with it) so he could feed his family. If you are single the food bank can only help you out once a month, and they give you enough for five days.

(I do enough in 'community services' to know all of these things for a fact)

I lived in my car for three weeks (a long time ago) after my tent was destroyed in a flash flood. Which also meant all of my clothing was damp too. It nearly killed me to take help from a local church. Now I see people who genuinely need that help, did not just decide they'd like to move and be irresponsible about it and throw themselves into the masses hoping someone would give them charity; there isn't enough help to go around for those who already need it. I am in a place and country that is percieved to be unaffected by the recession and the economy. That is where people are dead wrong.

Choosing to be that burden on society? I cannot understand it.

-K

(in reply to oldbabyface)

Post #: 47

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/20/2011 11:59:56 PM

IsaNova

Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline

I would not choose it because it is cool in any sense, but it may be the only practical way for me to move. Where I live is a nice place, and there are jobs, but I am not doing well here, and I think for me to grow I need to move beyond the drama that has happened in my past and look to the future. The lifestyle is not everything to me, but kinship and friendship is... and due to past mistakes my ability to build friends in this small community is low. I need a fresh start.

I did not mean to intone a disrespect for those homeless or suffering in the least. I am close to that myself if things do not change for me, and Alaska is definitely not the place to be homeless for the winter.

(in reply to mistressko)

Post #: 48

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 12:27:24 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I think, given the current economy, you may very well be better off taking a job where you are NOW rather than choosing to move elsewhere with the plan to live in your car.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to IsaNova)

Post #: 49

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 12:44:56 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

I have no idea how it would be to be homeless. Spending my teen years fairly poor, was enough of an experiment for me.
I think it's a terrible idea, if you have the option not to be homeless, to make yourself one; that is without first attaining a job, and holding on to it, so when you change your mind on day 3, you can get another place.
Good luck, M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to IsaNova)

Post #: 50

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 6:21:10 AM

Malkinius

Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline

{fast reply}

Greetings all....

The office where I work has people who are homeless working there. Some have worked for the company for years and make pretty good money. From what I have been told, they office operations people know of about 15 to 20 who do not have a place to live in an office of just under a thousand. I know there is more than one reason for this and some are that way only for a short while and there are probably some they don't know about but it did surprise me a bit when I found this out. I am not counting a few people who sometimes sleep overnight in their cars to save on commuting costs when they have about a 2 hour commute to work each way.

Be well all....

Malkinius

_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com The goal is community.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 51

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 7:06:01 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

Perhaps I missed something, OP, but I'm darned confused. Your profile says you are under consideration? What does this mean? (I'm never clear on that one.)

Are you seeking to move to be with this person who is "considering" you?

As much as I understand how anyone would want to flee from Fairbanks, Alaska, I agree with the other posters who have suggested having a better fall back position then living in the car. You're 25. Get a second job and save some dough.

In six months you could make your move without all the drama and major risk taking. Living in the car just screams poor planing and impulse control to me.

As an aside, consider shipping your lighter possessions to someone where you want to move, have them store it or keep it in storage for you. As far as introducing yourself to the community, I would look for a group on FL, and begin networking for a support group now. I think you will have a much easier time of this if you're plans are more along the lines of "I have to find a cheap place to live until I find a job."

Best of luck.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 52

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 9:27:40 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

I think it's hawt, but then I'm creepy that way.

I spent some time living out of my truck, actually, I had a camper, but there was a lot of freedom that way, and in some ways I miss it - I could just pack up and drive anywhere I wanted, coast to coast, but that freedom was to a large extent dependent on being mobile, i.e., money for gas and maintenance, which meant staying employable, I showered and did laundry at truck stops or took out day memberships at gyms with shower facilities, etc.

Of course, I came of age in the Eighties, when there were entire families living out of their cars, though probably not enjoying it nearly as much, it comes with the territory in a conservative/republican administration, they are very fond of massive real estate scams, going back to the Civil War, it's a historical fact, and massive deracination tends to ensue.

Anyway, it's not easy, more people tend to mistrust you when you're not tied down with kids and a mortgage, and it get's to be a drag after a while, but it's a good way to see the country if you have nobody to worry about but yourself, given the caveat that you do need to maintain that vehicle and a reasonable cash flow or risk being well and truly fucked.

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 53

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 9:46:15 AM

mistressko

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

{fast reply}

Greetings all....

The office where I work has people who are homeless working there. Some have worked for the company for years and make pretty good money. From what I have been told, they office operations people know of about 15 to 20 who do not have a place to live in an office of just under a thousand. I know there is more than one reason for this and some are that way only for a short while and there are probably some they don't know about but it did surprise me a bit when I found this out. I am not counting a few people who sometimes sleep overnight in their cars to save on commuting costs when they have about a 2 hour commute to work each way.

Be well all....

Malkinius

I can tell you some of the reasons we have 'working homeless' here. I'm talking about, say, CPAs, managers too.

Single mothers OR just as often single fathers, they've sent the kids to live with relatives or friends for now, lost their homes and live homeless so they can save up enough to get an apartment and get the kids back - but with kids, of course, it's much harder to find an apartment.

Rent costs. Even renting a room in this area is around $600 plus half of utilities - if you also have a vehicle payment, credit cards (not all homeless desire to go bankrupt or destroy their credt) etc.

Child support. The parent who courts order to pay $700 every two weeks based on last year's income and has since been laid off, lost where they live and as above are trying to maintain as much of their support duties and other bills as possible. (Here you can have your driver's license revoked for lack of payment, which would mean sometimes losing your 'home' or job if you have to travel for work as about 60% of non-minimum wage jobs are) Also that whole contempt of court/jail thing.

Former students with degrees who ended up not being able to find work, are saddled with massive student loan payments (think $600 a month, if you want to see my paperwork I can prove it) and working lower wage jobs.

People fleeing abusive relationships (male and female, straight and gay)

Those who had an injury or temporary disability, could barely or even not pay everything when they couldn't work, and are either now broke and working or still unable to work but needing to fork out hefty amounts of cash to try and maintain their disability or in some way treat their illness enough that they CAN get back to work.

-K

(in reply to Malkinius)

Post #: 54

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 2:13:33 PM

stellauk

Posts: 1360
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IsaNova

I would not choose it because it is cool in any sense, but it may be the only practical way for me to move. Where I live is a nice place, and there are jobs, but I am not doing well here, and I think for me to grow I need to move beyond the drama that has happened in my past and look to the future. The lifestyle is not everything to me, but kinship and friendship is... and due to past mistakes my ability to build friends in this small community is low. I need a fresh start.

IsaNova

You say your ability to build friends in your 'small community' is low due to past mistakes and a need to move beyond the drama. Does this mean the small community of Fairbanks? What is the problem?

Have you been a rabble-rouser, going out every weekend on the razz? Hitting people? Pushing old ladies out of their invalid chairs? Daubing graffiti on walls? Or do you mean the local BDSM community? You haven't been bossing doms about or picking on the sadists and making them cry have you?

Or do you mean the trans community? I'd be very careful about even breathing the word 'transition' in this community, in which can fester the very worst of male bitchiness, competitiveness and an unhealthy preoccupation with self, as it can often leave you wide open to jealousy, judgments, resentment and general drama. It's not the most supportive environment for anyone realistically trying to transition IMOJO (in my own judgmental opinion).

I get the general sense that you are running away from something, if it is something like the above then there's no need to go and screw your entire life up over it. Just use the two feet you were born with and move on. You will find other friends outside the community, among the cisgendered and out in wider society.

But unless you're facing a threat which is very serious and very immediate there's nothing to be gained by running away. That 'new start' is nothing more than a mere illusion in such circumstances because if you can't cope with your present circumstances and deal with them effectively, how are you going to ever hope to deal with the hassles and difficulties of setting yourself up somewhere new?

I have relatives in Toronto who would dearly love for me to be there, including godparents who are prepared to sponsor my application for permanent residence in Canada, I score 80 out of a 100 points in the Canadian immigration tests and due to my artistic background wouldn't need a work permit or visa as long as I can set up a project employing two Canadian nationals. Even have a few people on the other side of the border who would like to see me that side of the Pond. But rather than lean on them for support I'd much rather stay this side of the Pond and remain on my own two feet.

I would stay put for now and make good your situation where you are. If that means settling differences with people over what has happened in the past then I would go down that route.

Homelessness is not a single event or just a case of walking out the door and throwing the keys away. It's often a process, a series of decisions and events which have led up to becoming homeless or being vulnerable to becoming homeless. This is a really long process. Just to give you some idea I was homeless back in 2005 and 2006 and it's now 2011 and there are times when I still feel homeless.

That process can often be reversed and if it can in your case I would strongly advise you to take steps to reverse that process. I have done homeless in Poland in knee deep snow and temperatures as low as minus 20. I lasted one month and I still can't explain how I managed that. Had it have been further east in Russia, or Canada, or Alaska I don't think I would be alive to write these words.

I would stay and make good the situation where you are now rather than running away. If you still have a choice over making things better for yourself you owe it to yourself to do what you can whilst you have that choice.

Don't leave it to other people because, even with the best intentions in the world, other people can let you down. There's a lot of homeless people here who thought that it was the only practical solution to their problems. The thing is that was ten years ago, they are still on the streets, and they have little or no visible opportunity of getting off the streets.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to IsaNova)

Post #: 55

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/21/2011 4:31:44 PM

oceanwynds2

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2011
Status: offline

You cannot run away or leave drama, it is always around. Being homeless surely will bring you drama. To leave drama behind, you got to be ready to leave yourself out of the drama, which has nothing to do with moving, running away or looking for something outside to make it better...just saying..

(in reply to stellauk)

Post #: 56

RE: Homeless Subbies - 3/22/2011 5:51:27 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I guess my concern was in introducing myself to a new local community.

I agree with the people who question your priorities. I'd be delighted to participate in a thread on looking for work remotely, cuz I'm in that situation myself.

I can't imagine looking for work without the internet - what's your plan? Laptop at Starbucks? Library? The last three states I've lived in have required proof of residence (driver's license/utility bill) before issuing a library card. I see homeless people with cars camp out in the library parking lot during the day; not sure where they move their cars at night.

The local soup kitchen here allows people to receive mail; I don't know if that is typical or not. It only provides 5 meals a week.

I have a friend who was homeless and looking for work - anything! - for almost a year until he lucked into finding a bigoted Italian who was happy to hire his Irish ass. That restaurant closed and he's been again looking for work for almost a year.

LadyPact's mention of cold water made me laugh. When I was in Costa Rica without electricity, on cool days, I waited until the sun had warmed the water tanks and pipes before showering. On warm days I showered in the waterfall.

For a few weeks when I was a teenager, I slept in the back of a 47 Willis Jeep and bathed by sneaking into a pool. I was in that situation because of a man; I'm older and wiser now.

Best of luck to you,

KK

(in reply to IsaNova)

Post #: 57

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