FukinTroll
Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:
Selfish~Self-Centered~Selfless
After talking to Rescue Team Alpha, ya know how magnanimous her nature is, she is allowing me to repost this topic so it doesn't get buried in the one liners. Unfortunately, a poll is a poll, so this one will not be.
After seeing so many responses that I found EXCEPTIONALLY valuable to wiitwd, I felt it would best serve the community to bring this topic into General BDSM, cuz we have a lot of lurkers that do not go to polls and I feel this topic is beneficial to the lurkers that come to learn from the general and community threads.
Feel free to C/P your previous answers if you wish, or post a new one if the mood strikes you. I would like to thank all of you from the bottom of my shriveled lil black heart for contributing, and also like to shout out to those members I used as an example and thank them again for graciously participating.
Here is the link to the old post
As many of you are aware I dance to the beat of different drummer… honestly, I am not altogether sure it is even a drummer. So I am gonna say hit it Maestro and just do this thing.
My personal views and opinions on selfish, self-centered and selfless always seem to be contrary to most and I mostly just kept it to myself because it only matters when it is applied to me. However I have had some good conversations with some other members here and we are clicking on this more and more. So I thought I would toss it out here so the community as a whole could lend their personal perspective to it. I am going to affix some caveats to it though: - YMMV, a given of course.
- I am interested in your perception/perspective and do not want it to become a one true way fight, I am simply interested in your way and how it applies to you.
- I am not interested in a debate of labels, as most of you are well aware how my label system works; gloss over MY labels and insert your own as it applies to you.
- That said, let’s start fukin this mule.
Self-Centered D: I would say the bulk of our HNGs and Goblins have been of the self-centered type. Our recent rash of stupidity bespeaks volumes of their self-centeredness; “I cannot get what I want so it is your responsibility to increase the pool of what I want”. I cannot imagine how an /s, boy or girl could allow themselves to fall in with this ilk. For a hard wired /s I know that submission is just as vital to them as air; but really… raise the bar already. /s: For the longest time I has some cold callous shit on my profile because the amount of SAM, Princess, baby girls and do-me mail I was receiving was overwhelming and damaging my happy. When you tell someone to be into Pony-Play cuz you have a yoke, a plow and acreage they will be pulling said plow over, that cuts that shit way down. Conversely from above, Domination is as vital to us as air and how some of our D’s fall into with the self-centered /s is kinda spooky (again, please raise the bar already).
Selfless Oh think of the possibilities of the selfless D or /s.
D: A selfless D is a true treasure to the self-centered type, hell I wouldn’t mind buddying up with a selfless D that had more money than they knew what to do with and a mansion full of lil do-me girls for me to come over and do. Show me a selfless D and I will show you someone waiting for a beating. I would like to use a two of our posters here as a point of reference to cull the confusion.
IronBear: I offer no illusions, what goes on at http://www.bruincottage.org looks very selfless (I will clarify and quantify that later). IB and Neets are doing amazing and wonderful things for boys and girls that are lucky enough to don their steel. However, IB and Neets are not Selfless, you earn the right to be there.
/s: The Selfless /s is the wonderful little Stepford slave. I tell people, being the pain in the ass Troll that I am, that the lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying. The same applies for the selfless slave. Show me a selfless slave and I will show you a micromanagement passionless nightmare.
Selfish This might be a little harder for everyone to wrap their heads around.
D: When you have a selfish D (not jealous or necessarily possessive), you have a D that owns your ass and the rest of you to boot. They know who they are, what they want, what they like and know exactly what you are going to be to them and they will groom you in that direction. To know yourself you have to be selfish… self reflecting, self analyzing and self aware. You clearly draw your line of what is and is not in your want/needs list and when you find that /s that fits, you grab on with both hands and fukin keep it. The selfish D is going to make good choices in an /s, because they understand that their need for X is only going to be truly satisfied by your need of giving/receiving/submitting to X, yin/yang. Again I am going to use a few points of reference here:
IronBear and Neets: Selfishly assume the responsibility, grooming and growth of wayward /s types. The better person they help the /s become the more satisfaction they receive (satisfaction is the point of selfishness). What they do, when it is done well, carries on with them till Valhalla calls.
Mnottertail: Go have a look at Ron and what, most, people is going to see is an arrogant control freak. The people on this side, however, see a man that knows himself very well, knows what he wants and selfishly will not settle for less.
LadyPact: It is actually superfluous and pointless to point out her virtues of selfishness, but she deserved mention. You wanna see a fantastic example of how rewarding a selfish D is, go read her posts and profile. /s: Okay boys an girls, prepare to be mentally damaged, shaking your heads in denial and dismay. The selfish slave is THE FUKIN PRIZE! He/she knows how valuable their submission is to them, know all the little monsters and demons of their submission (probably have cute lil names for each of them) and most importantly they know what their limits and limitations are. They are self-aware and know themselves quite well… they achieved this from a point of selfishness. They will not settle for a bad match or a mismatch, because they are selfish and know what they need and will not settle (nor should they). Again I will use a point of reference:
Wolf2Bear: How can you not love this guy? Once he hit his stride, knew who he was and what he needed, he became a ROCK STAR! For a lot of people, W2B is just beyond approach because the charisma and confidence is just so BIG.
I am going to share a bit of conversation I had with our Greedy; We were on the phone a few days ago and I mentioned the selfish thing and the conversation just exploded. She and I are so simpatico in our thoughts about selfishness, self-centered and selfless it is just damn spooky. I alluded to the fact that once sex becomes selfish that it becomes divine. She agreed, like a hyper kitty chasing a mouse (chuckles), because she understood exactly where I was coming from. If we are so caught up in pleasing our partner we are not unleashing our primal monster.
I have to tell you, I don’t eat pussy for you… IT IS ALL ABOUT ME BEING SELFISH! Every touch, every bite, every kiss, every tug on your hair, everything everything everything is about ME. I do not do it for you! I want your body to respond to me beyond your control… that gives me control over your body. It is purely selfish for me, I want- you give. The fastest way for me to achieve that is for her to be just as selfish, working from her place that FEELS WAY TOO DAMN GOOD!
Tear it up ladies and gents!
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I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!
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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.
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