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RE: Humiliation - 3/18/2011 1:29:26 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

That would never happen here, everywhere I have ever bartended or served in the US has the policy "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone." No lawsuits would ever happen for tossing out people that were creating a scene, and that has a very loose definition.


I think it would depend on how far the situation went and venue they were going to. I can name a few places off the top of my head that would probably turn a blind eye if he was a well paying customer. There are also many restaurants that have private or members only dining facilities that would permit more adventurous activities than general seating.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Humiliation - 3/19/2011 8:41:40 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		The threat of law suits was a very polite way of warning them that if they carried on like pork chops, a car load of impeccably dressed (in black suits and shades0 would turn up and dismember the fuckwhits.... They are even only a phone call away.. I tolerate not mundane interference of my life.. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Humiliation - 3/19/2011 8:54:03 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

The threat of law suits was a very polite way of warning them that if they carried on like pork chops, a car load of impeccably dressed (in black suits and shades0 would turn up and dismember the fuckwhits.... They are even only a phone call away.. I tolerate not mundane interference of my life..


With all due respect she wasn't off the mark. In the U.S. many places have signs that notify the customer that they can be refused service. And if you entered in the manner stated and they elected to do so, it's probable you wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on. Once again, it depends on venue and your value as a customer. If you're spending a lot and frequenting a place that will bend the rules, it may not be an issue. But it is management's call. Perhaps they do things a wee bit different down under.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Humiliation - 3/19/2011 10:14:51 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Make her wear ugly, frumpy clothes. If that isn't humiliating, I don't know what is.

OP, it depends entirely on what she finds humiliating. For some no panties would do it. For others, rope bondage beneath the clothes.

More importantly, I get the feeling you're desperately trying to fulfill her demands which makes me wonder who is the sub here.



Celeste, (not actually aimed at you, but your post does point the way)...
If a man I'm with DOESN't want to fulfill some of what I ask for, why in hell would I be with him? Come on, you know that not everybody is all 24/7. Some people want a little hanky spanky. Besides, wanting to make your partner happy, fulfill her fantasies, etc. is not the mark of a non-domly person. It's the mark of a good partner.

ymmv,
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Humiliation - 3/20/2011 12:19:14 AM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Make her wear ugly, frumpy clothes. If that isn't humiliating, I don't know what is.

OP, it depends entirely on what she finds humiliating. For some no panties would do it. For others, rope bondage beneath the clothes.

More importantly, I get the feeling you're desperately trying to fulfill her demands which makes me wonder who is the sub here.



Celeste, (not actually aimed at you, but your post does point the way)...
If a man I'm with DOESN't want to fulfill some of what I ask for, why in hell would I be with him? Come on, you know that not everybody is all 24/7. Some people want a little hanky spanky. Besides, wanting to make your partner happy, fulfill her fantasies, etc. is not the mark of a non-domly person. It's the mark of a good partner.

ymmv,
sunshine


I tend to agree with this for the most part. As a dom, my needs necessarily tend to come first, but at the same time exploring fantasies with a sub is a great bonding experience and helps us both discover new sides of each other. If something absolutely isn't my kink, I'm not going to force myself, but if it's just something I'm indifferent towards (like, say, kitty play) why not give it a whirl?

_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Humiliation - 3/20/2011 4:00:15 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

With all due respect she wasn't off the mark. In the U.S. many places have signs that notify the customer that they can be refused service. And if you entered in the manner stated and they elected to do so, it's probable you wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on. Once again, it depends on venue and your value as a customer. If you're spending a lot and frequenting a place that will bend the rules, it may not be an issue. But it is management's call. Perhaps they do things a wee bit different down under.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



You are right of course, I remember such places. For me I tend to learn the customs of any place I may choose to frequent on a regular basis. There are tiomes when a more gentle albeit legal hand works wionders and there are times when a heavier approach  works too. mostly, I navigate my way so my time out is enjoyable and often profitable too.. Just a matter of playing the game according to what works best and efficiently.. I tend to reign in the leach on associates if the game is being played well enough.. Else I perfer my own company and only wander out for business reasons.. Much happier on a beach or a boat fishing..




_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Humiliation - 3/24/2011 7:33:41 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		In my view, there's an over-riding consideration that hasn't been mentioned yet.  Involving others - no matter how legal it is to do so - and no matter how kinky the observers might be - is simply non-consensual.  I can see the BDSM club as an exception since one's attendance gives a (limited) form of consent. 

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 3/24/2011 7:35:18 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humiliation - 3/24/2011 7:57:01 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		Though public humiliation is not something I crave, there have been times that I've felt that people have ... noticed. It's very slight....him standing and waiting while I catch up and then open the door for him, my bending down and tying his shoe for him, me sitting on the ground while he is on the bench, maybe a firm directive spoken loud enough to be heard. While this isn't humiliating, probably, for any sub, it is public and so there is definitely a different feel to it than when it is just he and I. One time I did wear a dog collar through the grocery store. Even that was too much for me...Not because I care so much if anyone knows I wear a dog collar now and then, but because I felt I was bringing people unwillingly into my world. (I know...it's just a dog collar. I am hypersensitive to it.)

So, like others, I suppose it depends on your sub and what she will be find to be humiliating. But maybe even slight actions can provoke a response from her.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Humiliation - 3/24/2011 10:38:48 PM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Though public humiliation is not something I crave, there have been times that I've felt that people have ... noticed. It's very slight....him standing and waiting while I catch up and then open the door for him, my bending down and tying his shoe for him, me sitting on the ground while he is on the bench, maybe a firm directive spoken loud enough to be heard. While this isn't humiliating, probably, for any sub, it is public and so there is definitely a different feel to it than when it is just he and I. One time I did wear a dog collar through the grocery store. Even that was too much for me...Not because I care so much if anyone knows I wear a dog collar now and then, but because I felt I was bringing people unwillingly into my world. (I know...it's just a dog collar. I am hypersensitive to it.)

So, like others, I suppose it depends on your sub and what she will be find to be humiliating. But maybe even slight actions can provoke a response from her.



This is very much the kind of thing I enjoy doing. Not overbearing, not completely obvious, but subtle and present in such a way that the observant will notice without ever being completely certain. Not even so much humiliation as an ever-present reminder of the order of things, though for many it does humiliate if the audience lacks the grace to disguise their examination of us, and that in and of itself is entertaining for the same reason any public humiliation would be.


_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Humiliation - 3/25/2011 4:15:46 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		i am with kaliko and Palliata... it should always be subtle... subtle or humorous
but if people get so crass or insensitive or horny that the actions become crude and in your face stuff for bystanders a different venue like a sex club is more suitable

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Humiliation - 3/25/2011 8:17:13 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		This is a conundrum isn't it? on the one hand there is the right under law to parade in unusual gear with like minded friends and associates and there is the other school, of what can be rightly referred to as straight laced narrow minded "bible belt"  folk who demonstrate and use confrontation when a strip club open or a sex shop opens.. One part of me choses to not allow the bigoted beliefs of others dictate my dress code or my actions provided they are defensible in law. (Bless the Australian Constitution). I have recently enjoyed a visit to one of the more radicvle Christion churches for their early "Passion Play" regarding the Easter festivities. It was enjoyable and though a good number of the congregation know me and who I am, there was no issues and later over a meal their Paster and I chatted (he had been instrumental in reigning in his hot headed members, especial the youth group who wanted to burn BC down with Neets and I in it) The Paster and I discovered that we have more in common than we do opposed thus we were able to find a goodly accord.. His only comment was that he when he witnessed my leading the slave though we were part of the large Goth and Neo Goth movement prevalent in this area. next year I will be assisting in accurately dressing the "Roman Soldiers" and arming them with real swords and spears).. Given time and the right people willing to talk most things can be worked out..


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 7:10:19 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I do not think it is very confusing at all, but i understand that for a lot of people it is.
To me it is a case of commonsense, decency and a lot of acceptance of silly and confused people who may be very narrow minded whether they object to the sex shop or go there leading their partner on a leash all the way from their village to the front door and think that should be acceptable to everybody.
And while i have no problem with people leading others on dog leads or chains about the town or through our local park, i have to say that when i notice them i do think they have lost the plot... and depending on their age should know how to behave a lot better.
Like some mothers picking their kid up from our local school should know how to dress a lot better... for some the only description is slut and not in a good way at all and their poor kids have to listen to the other kids laughing about the thigh high black studded stilletto boots and tits almost popping out of the package, and while i take no offence to their dress sense i do think they have lost the plot... or maybe they never had it...

To me there is quite a difference between leading a bitch on a chain and dressing up for some Roman re-enactment
Like there is a difference in how a person might dress for picking up a child from school or going out for the night

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 8:14:20 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I agree with LanceHughes about not involving the non-consenting public in your kinky activities. But you might be able to come up with something more discreet.

For example, if your sub is a woman, you could try getting one of those remote control vibrators (the butterfly one is pretty quiet) and using it on her in a public place like a bar. People that are paying attention to her might wonder why she's squirming and her voice is unsteady, but unless she's really vocal they're not going to know what's up.

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 3/26/2011 8:15:26 AM >

(in reply to JD55)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 8:49:12 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes
In my view, there's an over-riding consideration that hasn't been mentioned yet.  Involving others - no matter how legal it is to do so - and no matter how kinky the observers might be - is simply non-consensual.

bull. Sorry Lance but just plain bull. The "grandmother" in this theoretical scenario DID consent. She lives in the United States so consents to the laws of the land... just as I do. I am sure the hell not going to consent to be bound by the least common denominator of all 350 million americans. What about MY consent? In the US we have a system for figuring out what's acceptable and not. We do this big mass huddle in some legislative building and smoke a bunch of cigars and out of that comes "the law" -- the codified version of what is and is not acceptable. That IS the over-riding consideration. It is the fundamental binding agent of our society.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 10:50:03 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

This is a conundrum isn't it? on the one hand there is the right under law to parade in unusual gear with like minded friends and associates and there is the other school, of what can be rightly referred to as straight laced narrow minded "bible belt"  folk who demonstrate and use confrontation when a strip club open or a sex shop opens..


And on the flip side my daughter's school was located across the street and three blocks away from two adult stores. Now, I'm a very open-minded person, but a grammar school? Unfortunately the facilities were grandfathered in and weren't asked to leave. One was bought out by a large store chain but the other still remains. At the time the children in upper grades were permitted to leave campus for lunch. So on the one hand, I understand your perspective, but there has to a little common sense exercised.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 12:54:48 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Shave her head?
Good suggestion.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 3:28:14 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

This is a conundrum isn't it? on the one hand there is the right under law to parade in unusual gear with like minded friends and associates and there is the other school, of what can be rightly referred to as straight laced narrow minded "bible belt"  folk who demonstrate and use confrontation when a strip club open or a sex shop opens..


And on the flip side my daughter's school was located across the street and three blocks away from two adult stores. Now, I'm a very open-minded person, but a grammar school? Unfortunately the facilities were grandfathered in and weren't asked to leave. One was bought out by a large store chain but the other still remains. At the time the children in upper grades were permitted to leave campus for lunch. So on the one hand, I understand your perspective, but there has to a little common sense exercised.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



It is the common sense which is the issue as I see it and I refer to my local situation specifically as this is where I live and have my being.. To suit the mundane narrow minded ones, I would have to bow to there version of common sense and subjugate my own rights and beliefs. This is what they would like to see. I may as well pack up and find a better society to move to or do what I have oft thought, move to a remote harsh location (to deter others following) and live there. hardly seems right does it? So who wins. I'm far too bloody minded by nature to allow those opposed to me to appear to win when I have the law (such as it is) on my side. Were it simple as being only a couple of very vocal people, it would be simple to create a situation where their moving to somewhere which had more attractive facilities for their family and better work. Such manipulations are easy and worked often enough in the past. Were it a small business causing the opposition the answer is even easier. Buy them out at a price well below current values of course but it does work every time..  But when the opposition comes from radical right wing narrow minded church groups who regularly call for the burning of lesbians and witches, we just work with the federal Authorities and on the side bunker down and arm ready for an inevitable conflict.. Of course this is pretty much theory and more of a vague possibility than a probability but.. there are signs which need to be heeded.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Humiliation - 3/26/2011 3:52:55 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Make her wear ugly, frumpy clothes. If that isn't humiliating, I don't know what is.

OP, it depends entirely on what she finds humiliating. For some no panties would do it. For others, rope bondage beneath the clothes.

More importantly, I get the feeling you're desperately trying to fulfill her demands which makes me wonder who is the sub here.



Celeste, (not actually aimed at you, but your post does point the way)...
If a man I'm with DOESN't want to fulfill some of what I ask for, why in hell would I be with him? Come on, you know that not everybody is all 24/7. Some people want a little hanky spanky. Besides, wanting to make your partner happy, fulfill her fantasies, etc. is not the mark of a non-domly person. It's the mark of a good partner.

ymmv,
sunshine



ummm if your fantseys were not something I think id enjoi or something I tried already and didn't like I guess youd be looking for a new man. cuz it aint about you.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Humiliation - 3/27/2011 7:37:56 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

This is a conundrum isn't it? on the one hand there is the right under law to parade in unusual gear with like minded friends and associates and there is the other school, of what can be rightly referred to as straight laced narrow minded "bible belt"  folk who demonstrate and use confrontation when a strip club open or a sex shop opens..


And on the flip side my daughter's school was located across the street and three blocks away from two adult stores. Now, I'm a very open-minded person, but a grammar school? Unfortunately the facilities were grandfathered in and weren't asked to leave. One was bought out by a large store chain but the other still remains. At the time the children in upper grades were permitted to leave campus for lunch. So on the one hand, I understand your perspective, but there has to a little common sense exercised.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



Most adult stores don't welcome children on their lunch break. It's not exactly good for business and they don't have money to spend.

By the time my children were of the age to leave school on their own, they knew what a sex-shop was and it was just another one of the many things that adults are interested in and do, like tattoo parlours, pubs and clubs.

Their existence isn't exactly hard to explain to children, even if they ask, surely?

agirl


_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Humiliation - 3/27/2011 8:53:08 AM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		One thing you can do is the following:

1. Get her some light translucent/lacy clothing that is designed to be worn over other clothing. Maybe something like this:
or this

2. Cover her with body paint.

3. Have her wear the lacy/translucent thing over the body paint. Take her out at night, with low visibility.


(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 40
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