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The cardinal rule of all Dominants?


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[Poll]

The cardinal rule of all Dominants?


Submissive free to talk to whomever
  60% (25)
Submissive needs permission to talk to other Dominants
  9% (4)
Submissive can talk freely only if Dominant is present
  0% (0)
Submissive is not allowed to talk to other Dominants
  0% (0)
Submissive is not allowed to talk to other Dominants
  0% (0)
It depends
  29% (12)


Total Votes : 41
(last vote on : 12/28/2011 7:02:40 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:46:33 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		A friend told me she had been told by somebody in an email that there was one rule that all dominants, male or female have that they simply will not abide being broken: Owned subs are not allowed to talk other Dominants..

I told her it was bullshit, but it got me wondering how many here have such a rule. Myself, I wouldn't have a rule like that, a girl of mine would be free to talk to whoever she wished, regardless of their particular place in the D/s spectrum.

I am not intending to question the correctness of anybody's rule, or to challenge the rationale for them. I am really more interested in the raw numbers of it. So please vote, even if you feel no desire to leave a comment. Of course any comments are most welcome.


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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:49:33 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		I sorta wish you had a .. depends.. selection. Some girls do better with that type of micromanagement... some do not. Me? I dont. I typically leave all my accounts up on the pc before I head off to work. If the man has any doubts, he can look for himself.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:50:02 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Master allows me to talk to whoever I want. He trusts me. If he didn't then I don't think he'd be with me.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:52:31 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		There you go tazzy...your wish is my command.



_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:55:21 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		If I had a boy I owned/dominated, I might restrict his connection with someone I absolutely hated... To be clear, I have never, thus far, absolutely hated anyone I've met. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:56:03 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Clicked "depends" Arpig. For me it depends on the girl and where they are at in their training. Some are sooooo eager to get into a D/s dynamic the need overrides the brain, so they have to be restricted. However the vast majority are grounded and very intelligent so they can handle it and direct conversations where they want them and ignore assholes that pop up.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:56:46 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Sometimes I have enjoyed the fun in exhibiting that level of power exchange. (I'm thinking a high-protocol dinner.)
I find it hard to "keep that up," 24/7.

Cardinal rule? I call "bullshit".

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 9:58:26 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

There you go tazzy...your wish is my command.




Careful, purdy talk like that will surely go to my head.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:00:12 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW

If I had a boy I owned/dominated, I might restrict his connection with someone I absolutely hated... To be clear, I have never, thus far, absolutely hated anyone I've met. M


I keep in touch with a few exes, and a few who wants to be nextes. The man knows, knows who they are, and even though he despises a couple has not wanted to restrict my conversations. I do know where to draw the line.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:02:20 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:


Careful, purdy talk like that will surely go to my head.
Well I still need to do that tire rotating research you know

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:08:32 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Anyone who serves me is allowed to have conversations with anyone. I might put the kibosh on anything else, if the person they're talking to doesn't meet my standards.

I've never held with the notion that subs need to be isolated from other doms or they might RUN AWAY.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:11:31 PM   
Selectivelight


Posts: 191
Joined: 9/30/2010
Status: offline 		I trust my partners, but I'm not oblivious to certain realities.

Random people, I don't worry about. If they step out of line, it's usually resolved without my input. My girls can take care of themselves. I draw the line at exes -with a few exceptions-. Mostly because of past experience with having to deal with the emotional fallout of a partner's argument with someone who already knows how to pull their strings. It is a kind of unpleasantness I would just as soon avoid.

I don't do it because I think they're incapable of making rational decisions, or a fear that I'm going to lose them. I just ask that kind of respect out of convenience, and the knowledge that because I've asked, I'll get what I desire.

Given how much respect and privacy I generally get, including not only the okay to socialize and flirt, but even -encouragement- on that front, I'm disinclined to ask anything more out of their own conversational habits.

In fact, allowing them that kind of freedom has added up to more than a few new bedroom toys and games. So there is that...

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:13:32 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:


Careful, purdy talk like that will surely go to my head.
Well I still need to do that tire rotating research you know


If only the man was the sharing kind.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:19:54 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW
If I had a boy I owned/dominated, I might restrict his connection with someone I absolutely hated... To be clear, I have never, thus far, absolutely hated anyone I've met. M
I keep in touch with a few exes, and a few who wants to be nextes. The man knows, knows who they are, and even though he despises a couple has not wanted to restrict my conversations. I do know where to draw the line.

Oh Tazzy, I don't think I'm a very jealous person (anymore), and I certainly wouldn't be with a man, whom I'd have to teach boundaries (anymore).

I meant it in more hypothetical terms, if my other was in contact with someone very ignorant, or corrupt, I would probably ask him to find a way to make this a long distance, rarely heard/seen acquaintance. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 10:21:37 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Ah, that puts a different spin on things. There is no one I will allow to come between the man and me. He is good to me, and I do adore him. To hurt him because of someone else... just not gonna happen.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 11:19:14 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		The only time a Partner has restricted who I spoke to was when that person showed to be a danger to our relationship or to myself (Asking me to do drugs or constantly drink)

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 11:24:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to fess up that I answered incorrectly.  My vote should have went to it depends.

High protocol or leather situation, you're darn right.  At least from the level of introduction.  High protocol dinner, same thing.  Even in casual settings, you don't ask him if he can do something for you.  Since his time is My time, you ask Me.  The times it hasn't gone that way, I've looked the person straight in the eye and told them that the collar on his neck is not a fashion statement.

We also happen to have a high protocol dynamic.  That means that out of courtesy, if a Dominant wants to talk with him, they should be going through Me.  Yes, yes, a lot of folks like to chest thump about that with the "well I don't have to recognize your protocols" thing.  It's been an actual issue exactly three times in coming up on four years. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 11:32:58 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

IF I am allowed speech, then I am allowed speech with anyone.. if I have a gag on.. the it doesn't matter what orientation someone else is.. I ain't a'talkin. :D

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 11:45:31 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Cripes. Any relationship I have has to be based on trust. Otherwise, it's foundation is a lie, and to quote that legendary guru Jimi Hendrix, Castles made of sand slip into the sea eventually.
So I either trust her all the way, or I'm not in it.
It's just that simple for me.
Course, I'm a strange man. I've never quite understood jealousy (Oh, I intellectually get it, but emotionally-nope). I kinda figure she's with me cause she wants to be (boost my ego too-added bonus points) and if she didn't, why in the world would I want to be with a woman who didn't want to be with me?
So I trust her, implicitly.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The cardinal rule of all Dominants? - 3/17/2011 11:54:03 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		~FR~

I am going to talk to people.  It is just the way I am.  If my partner doesnt LIKE the person I talk to, I will try to keep it minimal when I am with my partner, but no way on god's green earth am I going to eliminate friendships/acquaintances based on a partners opinion.  I MAY come to do so on my own, but telling me I have to is a sure way to get me to balk. somewhat recently I ran across this situation, and my comment was "look, I have known this person AGES longer than I have known you.. they think YOU are an ass, you think the same about them.. there is no need for the two of you to interact, so piss off about it".

I did (like I said) limit my interactions when in the presence of one or the other.. but I refuse to disconnect based on mutual dislike from the people *I* care for.  Thats too much like the advent of abusive behavior, for me.

YMMV.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 3/17/2011 11:55:36 PM >

_____________________________

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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