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Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 10:20:33 AM   
malemeat4Lady


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2011
Status: offline 		My name is John and i live in Tampa. i am older than many Women desire at the age of 54. i was married for many years and have raised my sons who are off on their own. My ex-wife and i were always in the life style, but descrete for professional and family reasons...it was always just play between us.

i have lived alone now for the past three years and have found no purpose or meaning in my life. i have explored the possibility of total slavery a few times and was once very close to being taken and owned, but it slipped away then. My life of loneliness pervades everything else. i am intelligent and highly educated; i was once a professional and am capable of many things. Yet, my lack of purpose in life has led me to a point where i maintain a small apartment that i am truly ready to walk away from. In fact, i am ready to walk away completely from my life (not in a suicidal way as I could never do such a thing, but maintaining a job, home and the mundane for just myself).

Most women would say i am fairly attractive physically, though a bit shorter than some prefer, and maybe slightly efeminate. i am not homosexual, nor have such desires for myself. i have been in the counseling profession much of my adult life and am very in touch with feelings and emotions preferring meaningful conversation regarding thoughts and feelings. For many Women, this is appealing to have a man so caring and understanding. i have long understood Women to be the ones really controlling things and are the superior gender. Whereas most women are attracted to masculinity and strength, i do believe many women appreciate sensitivity and compassion.

i have recently posted a profile seeking to find a Woman to take me as a total slave. As i state there, i truly am okay with simply vanishing never to be heard from again. i maintain little to no communication with any family or friends. The lease on my apartment will expire soon, and i wish not to renew it, nor retain any possessions at that point. i am seeking to truly go somewhere to be owned and used completely as a slave with no baggage or concerns for the past.

Now, to my logic and thought, male flesh as such should be of some worth to someone somewhere. i read many profiles of dominent Women, many expressing desire for a slave. i read of some Women with sadistic desires, and i would think a male offering himself with such masochistic intent would be worth at least keeping to beat and torture to alleviate frustrations, and perhaps train to please and serve. Although i am not seeking to die, I am offering myself with that level of commitment. i realize many Women write many things on their profiles, and for many this is a game or even business where they seek fools to simply send them money. All i have to offer at this point is my body and all the skills and caibilities i have accumulated over my lifetime. How a Woman uses that once She accepts me is up to Her.

i write this here in this forum to ask if such real Women do truly exist. I understand a slave makes a once-and-forever choice of obedience and thereafter is property. Are there truly Women on this site that seek a male to such an extent? Secondly, if there is any reader of this posting who may find such interest, i am extremely sincere and genuine. All i can do is offer myself with such genuineness and pray for such a Woman to accept me. Is there anything more i can do? Do any readers have suggestion or insight to offer?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 10:57:10 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Welcome to CM and the forums. 
 
I strongly suggest you read the general forum FAQ and the Ask A Mistress section FAQ.  Then, I'd advise you to read the following thread: "Selling" Your Fetish

Really pay attention to what the women have written in the AAMistress FAQ and "Selling".  Avoid skimming.  We've gone to a lot of trouble to tell guys like you how we want to be addressed and the best methods for piquing our interest.  Please have the courtesy to make use of the resources we've provided for you.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 11:49:49 AM   
malemeat4Lady


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2011
Status: offline 		Thank You so much for Your input. i will do all You have suggested and encourage Your continued input. May i request You review my profile, Ma'am, and provide Your input?

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 11:52:26 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		We've been looking for a third, male or female for 4 years but would pass on you.  We want someone vibrant and lively.  We want someone who embraces life, laughs, is fun to be with, and is our best friend.  You sound, well, blah.  You have no interests.  You have no ambition except to disappear.  We live an active social life and you would be like dragging an anchor around. 

To answer your question, if you have a kink there is someone around who could be your partner.  No one can guarantee that the person who might want a slave like you is a member here.  To answer your second question, yes, this lady might just read your forum post IF she is a member here. 

What other things are you doing to find this Mistress you say you need?  Do you go to munch?  Do you attend events?  Do you volunteer at events to show what a helpful person you are?  In other words, are you actively or passively seeking?  In my neck of the woods male sub/slaves outnumber the available Mistresses by a lot.  What are you doing to make yourself more desirable than the other male sub/slaves?  May I also suggest you change your name to something more desireable?

< Message edited by peppermint -- 3/19/2011 11:53:21 AM >

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 12:00:11 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: malemeat4Lady

May i request You review my profile, Ma'am, and provide Your input?


Yes you may, but only after you read this thread:

Profile Help: How To Attract A Dominant Woman

My first suggestion is to change your profile photo back to the one you had earlier or to take another based on the guidelines in this thread.  The vast majority of us do not care to see you in the buff until we've established a relationship.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 12:16:19 PM   
malemeat4Lady


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks again, and i will continue to heed Your guidance. I am sorry i appear so blah. i really am not, but i suppose that is what i convey.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 12:25:24 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i'm not a Dominant woman, but i have to say... your message (especially the passages about how you have found no meaning to life) remind me of a suicide note.
NOTE: i am not saying that you are suicidal, or that you should be put on meds or anything like that.
the tone of this post is so morose, it makes me feel sad.

people tend to bring others into their lives because they believe the experience will enrich their own. from this post (which is all anyone can go on right now) you sound like you're two inches from throwing in the towel and that your desire, moreso than submission, is to simply disappear. you do come across very "blah." i have to wonder if this is the way you normally talk or if you're just trying to be uber-polite and respectful and "slavey."

you talk about how you're "older than many Women desire," you have no meaning to your life, loneliness pervades everything you do. look at it from the perspective of whoever might saunter by and read this post -- what does it sound like to you? do you sound like a vibrant person who will bring something positive to the table? what are you looking for in a partner? would you want someone who looks at life the way you have presented our outlook here?


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 12:54:19 PM   
malemeat4Lady


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you all again, and i do reiterate i am not suicidal. i suppose i was going for a theme of being able to be taken away, but obviously that came across as you have stated, and i do appreciate You insights. i have made some changes to my profile after reading Your comments, and do request further assessment and correction. As i said, i am trainable. Regarding Pepperment's statements, i do feel there are Ladies out there seeking to bring a slave into their life, and i understand Your comments of how i was percieved as blah. There are men out there like i who simply want to be owned and belong to a Woman who will enrich their lives and give them purpose and meaning through the training they instill in them, and the service and pleasure they provide. Perhaps it is such lack of purpose i need, and such a wonderful Owner as You appear to be could provide.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 1:19:24 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		OP, get a life.

A domme is not a life-delivery service.


To attract a suitable partner, you need to have attractive qualities. You need to have a life. You wouldn't want a domme who sounded like such a loser, right?

I'd run screaming away rather than get involved with someone who has minimal involvement with their family and the world in which they live. Your post sounds like a cry for help. Not a tempting offer.

You sound sad, lonely and depressed. We can't save you from yourself, and we have no desire to. You got yourself in this mess, now you get yourself out. Get professional help if you need to- that's a good way to get help. But really- what makes you think anything about your message would attract anything but another loser, or a jerk?

If you have low self-esteem, a good domme isn't going to want to be the pan that you use to hit yourself over the head about it. If you want to punish yourself for your sad life, you go right ahead. But don't try to use other people to do that. That's just wrong. A cruel, abusive person would volunteer for that duty. You could get really hurt. Then you'd REALLY have something to be upset and sad about. So why not just go get some self esteem, instead? Doesn't that sound like a better use of your time?

Please get some help. You only get one life. I'm not going to pity you, if you won't take proper steps to rectify your problems. Wake up and smell the coffee. Stop wasting time. Get busy! Put your big boy pants on, and go get a life.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 1:21:07 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Ok, here's my ...
 
Your profile comes across a bit too heavy on the porn-fed fantasies for my tastes.  I don't want someone who wants to be "caged unless in use".  For one thing, that's not a realistic expectation.  In this economy, I'd have to be independently wealthy to fulfill that fantasy but, if I were, I still wouldn't want someone who will only sponge off me.  How do you see yourself contributing to the household?  Are you going to hold down a job and bring home a paycheck to help with maintenance or do you expect the woman to be the one bringing home the bacon?  If she's going to be the one working, are you going to take responsibility for keeping the household running, including doing the shopping, cooking, cleaning and so on?
 
I suggest you rework your profile to focus less on escapist fantasy and more on how you might be a worthwhile person to have as a "house husband" or butler if you don't plan to hold a job.  There's nothing wrong with this model, but you have to phrase it in a way that will appeal to your audience.  Right now, that isn't happening.
 
I also recommend you talk a bit more about your vanilla interests.  Many women want a companion who will share similar tastes in everything from hobbies to movies.  Do you like to go dancing?  What's your favorite type of music?  What sort of books do you read and why?  If you're a history buff who likes film noir and ballroom dancing, that's interesting and you should include it.  If you have two left feet and your idea of good literature is Sports Illustrated, then you should include that too.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 1:52:29 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Again I will ask.  What have you actively done to find the Mistress of your dreams besides making a profile online?  Do you attend munches?  Do you attend events?  If you go to events do you volunteer to work so that you can meet the most people?  Do you socialize within the BDSM community?  That way you can network.  If someone hears about the perfect lady for you they'll get word back to you because they know you are a great guy. 

You do realize your cage fantasy is just a fantasy, don't you?  Think of the expenses involved.  She would have to hire a cage sitter to spend all day with you while she works so you can be uncaged in case of an emergency.  A sitter for adults is not cheap.  Because you spend so much time in a cage you will probably suffer from joint problems which require trips to the doctor.  Those can be expensive too.  She will not be able to have her children or grandchildren visit her because they might see you naked and in your cage.  What will she do with you when she goes on a vacation?  How can she afford to take you AND your cage with her?  If she can afford it what will the maid at the hotel think when she comes in to clean the room and there you are in your cage? 

Stop going to the online BDSM porn sites.  They are not real life.  They are fantasies made for lonely men who will pay to see pictures of the fantasy.  We have some wonderful experienced male submissives and slaves who regularly contribute to the forums.  Read in the forums.  Discover what service might be in a real setting.  When you become a well rounded person who separates reality from fantasy, when you are ready to actively seek a Mistress, then you will have a better chance of finding her. 

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 1:58:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think I love you, peppermint.  I happen to agree with what you and the others have said.  Thank you all for saving Me the keystrokes.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 2:14:45 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Wow...OP, as someone who states in his profile that he's worked as a mental health professional, I'd ask you to take a look at your own words and the way you're presenting yourself.

I read a sad, lonely depressed individual who is looking to escape. Ignoring the porn fantasy crap for now, what is it about you that would attract a woman that she couldn't find in a more balanced happy individual?

Specific things that I question about your profile:

- Slave....is that a role you've filled in the past or is it a label you've chosen? What experience has led you to identify as such?

- Nothing personal....who are you, what do you like, how do you spend your time, what do you bring to the table besides fantasy/sex/bdsm?

- Boi...why do you use this term to describe yourself?

- Photos...why the nude photos? (just a personal pet peeve....I don't want to see the goodies until I decide, not you)

Honestly, you can change your profile, but unless you change your approach and your view of D/s reality you're still just playing fantasy mind games.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 3/19/2011 2:18:52 PM >

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 2:23:35 PM   
malemeat4Lady


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2011
Status: offline 		I thank You also, Ma'am, and with Your corrective insights have been striving to improve my presentation. I have removed the comment of the cage, and added dimensions as suggested by Sylverë. I began this post much earlier by conveying myself as a pathetic loser that everyone was ready to refer for psych help rather than to a fellow Domme for possible ownership. I was attempting to reach a Woman who might see me as available for such total ownership and who might enjoy such extreme use of me as truly i am prepared for such; but not intending to convey i total lack of sense of self. As i hope my profile conveys better now, i have lived an exciting life, and perhaps more so than most people. I do continue to feel i have much to offer to such a woman, to include a desire for such extreme use and pain. i suppose i mistakingly perceived a Domme/slave relationship as being not so much of a relationship won through romantic attraction as might also the most attractive of men, but as a lowly piece of meat that such a Woman might desire to own and use for her desires. There has been unanomous consensus here that suggests Women, whether dominant or otherwise, need to be attracted and presented a man who is attractive, rather than a piece of meat to be used. Forgive my ignorance, please, for harkening to concepts of slavery that were based on forced submission and kept property.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 2:43:23 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Apparently the answer to my questions is nothing.  You have ignored the same questions twice while making replies to other matters.  Until you are willing to actively seek your chances of success is very low. 

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 2:45:05 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		While many people will experience down times in life and in some part they can be understood, they can't be overlooked. You can change your profile and things you say, but a solid, intelligent woman/dominant is going to see through what might be presented, to what really is, given a bit of time. So you can change your profile from here until the end of time... and it will do you no good other than some false starts with women... unless you actually do the personal homework of finding yourself and something of worth in that. If you cannot value yourself or life... how are we expected to?

Convincing someone you are okay isn't what anything is about unless you must cosmetically remodel to fool someone. In houses, cars or men... most of us don't want a remodel... with false fronts. We want the real deal.

The women that have answered your post have not answered so that you could try to hook up with them. Try not to be so damn hungry. It's a major turn off.

If you are sincere in seeking someone, you will get very real with yourself and those you wish to know. That starts with a personal evaluation and refinement. If you are so caught up in escape, who is to say you wouldn't want to escape someone who would take an interest in you, because surely, their own state of well-being would be something I found questionable.

Don't doctor up your words and profile... but yourself. You just might find the harder road is the easiest and there might be a wonderful woman waiting for a wonderful man.. the man you can become with some focus on personal balance.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 2:48:27 PM   
malemeat4Lady


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/18/2011
Status: offline 		I do so apologize, Ma'am. i was not intending to be neglectful. Your insights of attending munches and local events was certainly most appreciated. I have not attended such as i have not felt comfortable in doing so. To attend such gatherings alone has been perceived by me as conspicuous and well...an outsider. i do understand that there may well be wonderful Ladies there that may well find me enjoyeable. i have sought to find a Woman who valued a situation focused on my belonging to Her, rather than of such a community nature. Again, i admit to being in error.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 3:00:14 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		It's not just women. As one of those theoretically "base" males we all read about constantly, the last thing I want in my life is a "piece of meat to be used". Why on god's green earth would I settle for that when I can have so much more? Sure, Carol is my sex toy and she does an admirable job at it. But in terms of her overall value to me, I'd give that maybe 5%. She is the other half of me. I happen to know that I'm not the only male "master" who thinks that way.

Here's another tidbit from my marriage. The most "horrific" (in her perception) commands I give Carol have nothing to do with BDSM. Nowadays they tend to be commands directed at her art career (go ahead and try telling an artist what to do with their art some day. trust me, it ain't pretty). And let's notice that those commands... the most difficult ones I give... have zero benefit to me directly. They are intended to fulfill her. If I am responsible for someone, then I intend that to be a positive experience for the person in question. Anything else would be a waste of my time. I would very much like to avoid a situation where I'm on my death bed and I'm counting my life wins in terms of blowjobs.

My point here is that I find my own time very valuable. Why would I waste my time on a "worthless" anything? If I'm going to invest a large portion of my life into someone, I'd prefer that they were extraordinarily worthwhile.



_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 3:04:57 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		So you have neglected to use the best avenues available to you because you are uncomfortable doing so.  If you attend an event with 400 people why do you think anyone would even bother to notice you at all?  You would just be one of many people there, attending lectures, socializing, and making new friends.  It's like when you left home and went to college.  You might feel a bit shy, but then there were 500 other freshmen who were feeling shy also.  You start with a smile.  Follow that up with a "Hello, my name is meat" and it'll all turn out like it did in college.  You'll find friends and a group to hang out with.  However, I am not going to hold your hand and lead you to the water.  When you really really really really want a Mistress you will do anything and everything you can to find her.  Let us know when you are prepared to do that anything and everything and I'll bet some people will step forward and show you the way.  Until then it's just fantasy. 


(in reply to malemeat4Lady)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Searching for exreme - 3/19/2011 5:18:13 PM   
mistressko


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		I don't want a slave to complete me, or that needs me to complete him. I don't mind being someone's universe, as long as they are already a functioning, gravity centred planet.

-K

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 20
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