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RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 6:32:48 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

It's like I am being punished for knowing what I want and knowing how to explain it well.


quote:

I really need to cut back on sharing stories with people too. This I will stick to the ones that interest me and stop trying to make friends on top of it.


quote:

I have a cut and paste I did sent to a few people asking for advice and opinions,


Let me get this straight: You sent so many cut and paste emails with stories a/o soliciting advice to strangers that you got nailed for sending spam, and you think you are being punished?

quote:

I understand the rule and the need for it, and from now on I will be sure to change a few words, but the message ultimately is the same.


Um, please don't bother doing that. Sending out spam doesn't work. Unsolicited email asking for advice, friendship or sending stories is not (necessarily) appreciated. Females on this site get tons of cmail, a generic anything for any reason is not going to garner a reply from a quality female you might actually want to meet.

Slow down, stop being so whiny, start being far more picky, and only cmail those females you are truly interested in. Spend some time on the boards, if nothing else, a potential s-type will be able to get a great idea of who you are based on your forum posts.

Also, get yourself to a munch, do some networking, realize if you are looking for a life partner, you could have a long search ahead and patience is key. It's best to be alone and find ways to be happy than to be stuck with the wrong person and be miserable.

Good luck.


_____________________________



(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 10:48:00 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious

Well, that basically eliminates 90% of the profiles on this site. The few people who actually have multiple photos of themselves and detailed descriptions are likely getting flooded with messages.



So are you the original guy with a new profile, or someone who bumped the thread to whine about the same thing? Just checking.

And your last statement, when run thru the babelfish in my ear, says this, "I won't message genuine people with a decent profile and real-looking pictures because they are likely getting flooded with mail, but I will message the 21-year old with the model photo lifted from somewhere on the net, and who is likely a really ugly dude in Ghana, because "she" isn't getting as many messages so mine would really stand out!".

Um, yeah, okay.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Aderious)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 1:23:48 PM   
Aderious


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious

Newsflash: The types of men who do those kinds of things are male chauvinists, practically by definition.

Well that's certainly a...limited view of how relationships can look. You've kind of missed what drives a lot of people, but that's your problem and nothing to do with this thread.

As for messages: I've always thought that a two-line profile is a pretty clear signal, saying 'I do not want to strike up a conversation with whoever happens to be reading this'. If people want unsolicited mail, they put information in their profile for people to respond to. If they don't - because they're just here to look, or they want to do the searching themselves - then they leave it blank (or fill in the bare minimum to stop people flooding them with 'why doesn't your profile say anything?' messages).

I always figure it's kind of rude of people to disregard that signal and spam them. I mean, it takes all of five minutes to write about your hobbies or your kinks or your favourite flavour of ice cream - if they wanted to give you a way into conversation they would. But they haven't. Think of the spam filter as the management stepping in so that they don't have to deal with you ignoring their signal - like the good kind of bouncer (and I really appreciate good bouncers).

<ed for missed conjunction>


Do you realize that it's possible to view nearly everything on this site without even registering? For all the empty profiles found here, I'm sure there are just as many lurkers who never even bothered to create profiles in the first place. Therefore, I don't buy your theory that people with sparse profiles are sending an intentional signal that they prefer not to be contacted by others. I consider it far more likely that they are either lazy, perhaps intimidated (esp. if female) or simply fake.

< Message edited by Aderious -- 5/25/2011 1:25:06 PM >

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 1:34:07 PM   
Aderious


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
So are you the original guy with a new profile, or someone who bumped the thread to whine about the same thing? Just checking.

And your last statement, when run thru the babelfish in my ear, says this, "I won't message genuine people with a decent profile and real-looking pictures because they are likely getting flooded with mail, but I will message the 21-year old with the model photo lifted from somewhere on the net, and who is likely a really ugly dude in Ghana, because "she" isn't getting as many messages so mine would really stand out!".


No, I am not the original poster of this thread, and my messaging barrier has thankfully been lifted. I came across this thread by running a search, like any responsible, net saavy person would do. You can think whatever you like about my messaging habits. I'm not a fool and I have my own criteria for determining the likelihood of a profile being authentic/worth the trouble to contact, as I'm sure we all do. If some of my messages end up being read by a dude in Ghana (and they surely will be), then oh, well - no major loss for me. It's just on to the next.

There is definitely a balance to strike between waiting to come across the one "perfect profile" and contacting enough people who might be inclined to respond. I'm male, hence versatile. I can service more than one nest at a time. I wouldn't expect a womyn to understand or share the same philosophy. That's what makes the sexes different.

< Message edited by Aderious -- 5/25/2011 1:38:55 PM >

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 3:01:45 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

but I ultimately don't feel I was spamming anyone.
Ah, but you were, or the spam filter would not have been triggered. It is triggered when a member sends out a large number of essentially the same message in a short period of time. You did that. If, as you say, you didn't, then the filter would not have been activated. Its an automatic system, not one that a moderator slaps on you.

It doesn't matter what the message is, because nobody is actually reading your messages. When you send out a certain number of messages within a certain amount of time...you are flagged. Thereafter your messages are analyzed at a binary level. Every letter is actually a series of binary numbers, so your message is analyzed that way (00110011 10100010 01000111 10010101...that sort of thing) when the pattern similarity between the messages reachs a certain percentage, the system triggers the spam block. Changing a word here or there won't prevent it, as it analyzes the message as a whole and is triggered based on a mathematical degree of similarity.

The only way to avoid it is to avoid one of the triggers: Volume/Similarity/Timeframe.

I know from experience that sending out a "This is what I want" email right off is a waste of time. When I did that, I got roughly a 5% response rate, and most of those were of the "good luck" variety. Then I moved to the "Read my profile and if you like it get back to me" style of approach. The response rate went up to around 10%, of which maybe 1/4 were interested.

Nowadays I write to any profile that catchs my attention, and open the discussion based on whatever it was that caught my attention. Whether or not we are in any way compatible. My response rate is now around the 80% mark. The responses usually leads to an exchange of 5-10 or so messages, at which point we either have nothing more to say to eachother, or we move offsite.

In none of those 5-10 back and forths do I give a listing of what it is I want. That's what my profile is for. Its all laid out there very carefully. When, during an exchange, I am asked what I am looking for...I direct them to my profile. Once they are done with that we can then discuss specifics.

For example, that perfect lesbian I started a thread about; we exchanged a few messages about how men percieve lesbians..it was interesting, and that's all. Of course it never led to anything, that was nevcer the intention of the exchange. The point is, a lesbian responded and corresponded pleasantly with a male dom. Not because I am irresistable, but because the opening message was specific to her. I also regularly chat on Yahoo (not the ID she put in her profile, the ID she uses to chat with her friends and family) with a tribute Domme, without having ever offered any form of tribute. I don't recall what it was I said to her (it was a few years ago), but it was tailored to her specifically, and she replied without a demand for tribute...we are now friends.

I'm not saying you HAVE to do it that way, but it works for me...and if gets an old goat like me laid, I'd say its a pretty damned effective method.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to FairDom6)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 3:37:23 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Aderious, out of curiosity, how many women have you met in real life off collarme?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 3:39:08 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*adores RM and Arpig*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 3:49:25 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious
You can think whatever you like about my messaging habits. I'm not a fool and I have my own criteria for determining the likelihood of a profile being authentic/worth the trouble to contact, as I'm sure we all do.


For my part, nothing i said was meant to contradict the fact that You do have that right.

pam

(in reply to Aderious)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 3:56:29 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious

Do you realize that it's possible to view nearly everything on this site without even registering?

Yes I do. But if you register you can save searches, favourite people, and look at fewer adverts. You've also disregarded my second option - that they don't want to be contacted, they want to be the one doing the contacting. And for that you do need a profile.

quote:



Therefore, I don't buy your theory that people with sparse profiles are sending an intentional signal that they prefer not to be contacted by others. I consider it far more likely that they are either lazy, perhaps intimidated (esp. if female) or simply fake.

...so you're messaging the lazy and fake why, exactly? (And how does being lazy differ from not wanting to be contacted? If they actively wanted to be contacted they'd put the effort in, no?)

And as for the intimidated: you think writing to them just saying 'view my profile' is suddenly going to break down whatever serious reticence is rendering them too terrified to write 'I'm an x sort of person with y experience who likes kittens, pasta dishes and cider but thinks that gardening is the work of the devil'?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Aderious)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 3:56:48 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Aderious, let me sum up.

You send your message to anyone female if she meets your criteria, which I suppose are based on looks.  You're not screening anyone out, and if you're not clear that she's a match, you message her anyway,

Your message says essentially, "I am interested in you.  Check out my profile."

You have done this so much that you have triggered the spam filter.  And you keep going down the same path.

Be more selective.  What you want (a stay-at-home pornstar/slavegirl with stunning looks wanting objectification) is so uncommon that it's a safe bet that nobody will want it unless they specify so in their profiles.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 4:20:05 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious

There is definitely a balance to strike between waiting to come across the one "perfect profile" and contacting enough people who might be inclined to respond. I'm male, hence versatile. I can service more than one nest at a time. I wouldn't expect a womyn to understand or share the same philosophy. That's what makes the sexes different.


ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Aderious)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 4:31:50 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		DS.. you charmingly evil man :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 4:37:06 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious
Do you realize that it's possible to view nearly everything on this site without even registering? For all the empty profiles found here, I'm sure there are just as many lurkers who never even bothered to create profiles in the first place. Therefore, I don't buy your theory that people with sparse profiles are sending an intentional signal that they prefer not to be contacted by others. I consider it far more likely that they are either lazy, perhaps intimidated (esp. if female) or simply fake.

I love it when people point out that I'm exceptional. 

<Let's pause so I can flip My hair for dramatic effect.>

Just for the record, this isn't the first time I've told this story on the boards.  There are at least one or two people on this thread who can verify it.  I'm not making it up just for your sake.

I was actually introduced to this site by the pet that I had at the time of My joining date.  When he first showed it to Me, I kind of laughed at it, especially the name.  I thought the concept was rather silly.  Wasn't that what munches were for?

For the first several months here, My profile consisted of "I'll fill this out when I have the time".  In My language, that translates into, "I'll do it when I have nothing better to do".  I was far more interested in the forums, where there were a number of folks that I already knew.  I certainly wasn't looking.  I had a husband, a sub, plenty of play partners, and more than enough events to go to.  Why would I waste My time filling the thing out?  Heavens knows I got more mail than I ever wanted.  (That was before the spam filter.)  It was apathy, not laziness.

Intimidated?  Hell no.  If playing at clubs every weekend doesn't intimidate Me, this place sure can't do it.  Fake?  Hardly.  You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who was active in the kink scene where I lived at the time who didn't know Me.  That's what I was doing rather than filling out the profile.

I think I bothered to fill it out sometime around when I got asked to do the first demo that I was giving in Atlanta.  I figured I had to write the bio anyway, so I'd kill two birds with one stone.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Aderious)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 5:00:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Aderious, out of curiosity, how many women have you met in real life off collarme?


Better question, how many women who bother to look at his posts and see his expressed contempt for sub females will ever agree to meet him in the future? Probability approaching zero.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 5:27:44 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Women don't need to fill out profiles. They get mail anyway. Hell, I'm *dating* a woman who had no text on her profile. She lived near me, so I asked her what kind of music she liked. She told me, and we didn't talk about kink until well after she gave me her phone number.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 6:36:18 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

I've got a dozen photos uploaded and multiple paragraphs written there for a reason.
Yes you do, I looked at your profile, and the first thing that came to mind was a line from an old (older than you) Ultravox song: With all the pronographers burning torches beneath the sea.

quote:

Newsflash: The types of men who do those kinds of things are male chauvinists, practically by definition.

Newsflash: You're full of shit. I've been doing "those kinds of things" on and off longer than you've been alive. And I'm  feminist. I believe in the equality of the sexes. I just happen to get my rocks off abusing woman, not because I think they are in any way inferior to me, simply because it's hotter than hell.

quote:

and my messaging barrier has thankfully been lifted.
And will be reimposed if you do not amend your practices/


< Message edited by Arpig -- 5/25/2011 6:40:22 PM >

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Aderious)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 6:40:47 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aderious

There is definitely a balance to strike between waiting to come across the one "perfect profile" and contacting enough people who might be inclined to respond. I'm male, hence versatile. I can service more than one nest at a time. I wouldn't expect a womyn to understand or share the same philosophy. That's what makes the sexes different.


ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!



Empty nest syndrome for men!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 6:44:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

who likes kittens, pasta dishes and cider but thinks that gardening is the work of the devil'?
OK VC who's profile did you lift that from, because we are a perfect match!!! (Please tell me she wears glasses!)

On second thought, don't bother...she's bound to be a lesbian, and I only have room for one perfect lesbian in my life.


< Message edited by Arpig -- 5/25/2011 6:45:58 PM >

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 6:48:22 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

<Let's pause so I can flip My hair for dramatic effect.>


Schwing!!


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: "Spam Filter Activated. Sending messages is te... - 5/25/2011 7:06:27 PM   
Aderious


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Yes you do, I looked at your profile, and the first thing that came to mind was a line from an old (older than you) Ultravox song: With all the pronographers burning torches beneath the sea.


That's nice, but I don't know what relevance it has to me. I allude to producing pornography only once, far down in my profile. Many people produce their own homemade porn movies, so I'm hardly a pioneer in that regard. My view is that if I'm going to produce content for my own enjoyment (which I would want to do) and if it's going to be good (which I would ensure, due my perfectionist streak), then it would probably be marketable, and why not market something which has value to others? I can think of no better or easier way to make money than by producing adult content, at home, with your partner. Which isn't to say that I know of no other ways to make money.

I further note that it is typical of the anti-capitalist mentality to heap scorn upon those intrepid entrepreneurs who expose themselves to financial loss by taking new ideas and concepts to market.

http://www.amazon.com/Anti-Capitalistic-Mentality-Ludwig-Von-Mises/dp/0910884293

I do not share your cynicism. I support capitalism.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
Newsflash: You're full of shit. I've been doing "those kinds of things" on and off longer than you've been alive. And I'm  feminist. I believe in the equality of the sexes. I just happen to get my rocks off abusing woman, not because I think they are in any way inferior to me, simply because it's hotter than hell.


This is simple to explain. There is a fundamental discordance between your intellectual views and your carnal desires. This is not an uncommon occurence; many people suffer from similar afflictions and as a result their lives are wracked with guilt and self-destructive habits. These people are neurotics. They would be much better if only they threw caution to the wind and let themselves go all the way with their "dangerous" habits.

Fortunately, I suffer from no such ailment. For I bring my intellectual views into line with my carnal desires. I know myself very well, and as a result of that, I can read others easily.

Neurosis is a silent killer. It is the great destroyer of men. Whatever you do, you have to do it completely. That means believing in yourself fully and committing every fibre of your being to the task. Dominating wimmin requires not only the act but the belief and the intellectual mindset which inspire the former.

INTJ's such as myself cannot tolerate internal contradictions. We are nothing if not consistent, logical, organized, efficient, ruthless machines.
http://typelogic.com/intj.html

< Message edited by Aderious -- 5/25/2011 7:17:42 PM >

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 80
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