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RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/24/2011 7:53:07 PM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PsychicWillow

Try me... I can help you.

Professional Psychic with over 19 years in healing.
I give reading's & cast spells for my clients.

Hon, have I got a man for you! Check this guy out.

http://www.collarme.com/BenevolentM

Read some of his work here- http://www.collarchat.com/m_3583190/tm.htm

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RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/24/2011 9:35:09 PM

OriginallyFromLA

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
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I'm working on the integration. A little at a time. Problem was I met this woman on a vanilla dating site and then she unloads that she is a submissive looking for a dominant AFTER we have one date and she wants it to be 24x7. What can I say, I was caught un-prepaired and off guard. Any more I just feel pretty stupid and played. But hey, experience comes at a price doesn't it. It's not making the same mistake.

And fuck you guys/girls, I like giving flowers. It's the thought that counts and if you don't like them, then what's that say? It says you don't care what I think and that's good to know.

You'll get them and you'll fucking like them! See? I'm integrating things more and more every day.

But I'm getting it. Make it about what I want, make it stable, integrated, controlled, and unwaivering.

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We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well, and live.-Quintas Arius

Love IS pain, Highness. Anyone that says different is selling something.-Dread Pirate Roberts

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RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/25/2011 4:54:19 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Hon, have I got a man for you! Check this guy out. http://www.collarme.com/BenevolentM Read some of his work here- http://www.collarchat.com/m_3583190/tm.htm

Helpful Hen :)

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Post #: 43

RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/25/2011 5:26:04 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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This:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

Epiphany time folks, thanks to you and a big thanks to lilMichele.

I gotta go with DesFIP and LillyBoPeep on this one. This whole 'two sides' shit strikes me as weird. You need to integrate those two sides into a package called a human being, so that what a woman sees is what she gets.

K.

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Post #: 44

RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/25/2011 7:33:12 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

I'm working on the integration. A little at a time. Problem was I met this woman on a vanilla dating site and then she unloads that she is a submissive looking for a dominant AFTER we have one date and she wants it to be 24x7. What can I say, I was caught un-prepaired and off guard. Any more I just feel pretty stupid and played. But hey, experience comes at a price doesn't it. It's not making the same mistake.
What the FUCK are you on about? All I see is you making a bunch of excuses then trying to portray yourself as dominant with "Oh, I'm afraid to let myself off the leash because I'm one scary, vicious, son of a bitch." - bullshit. You're a meek pussy who's trying to portray a role.

quote:

And fuck you guys/girls, I like giving flowers. It's the thought that counts and if you don't like them, then what's that say? It says you don't care what I think and that's good to know.
It's not the flowers, it's the fact that you give that shit out so easily. Why the FUCK would a dominant give a sub anything when she's already getting the gift of his time and attention? What fucking more does she need - or indeed, deserve. You, lad, are simply not ready. You'd *like* to be dominant, but you're not. And *that* is why the bitch left.

Suck it up and deal with it. Posturing is not going to improve your situation one whit.

You must be kidding. GIFT of attention and time?? Oh, you must mean like the gift of submission. Please.

Just because you are bitter and negative, does not mean that all Doms, such as this guy should be.

And guess what genius? If this guy or anyone wants to give flowers or behave in a courteous manner in ADDITION to being all big, bad and Domly, then let them. Some of us women prefer men who are mutlifaceted in their behavior.

I hope the OP can filter out some of the comments he is getting and take it from who it comes from.

(in reply to Awareness)

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Post #: 45

RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/25/2011 6:33:53 PM

OriginallyFromLA

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
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quote:

You, lad, are simply not ready. You'd *like* to be dominant, but you're not. And *that* is why the bitch left.

I'll go with the "not ready" to treat another person like property when we've just met. As far as "portraying" and "postureing" to be dominant or something I'm not, I don't think I have ever claimed to be a primadominant like a lot of people here. I have dominant aspects of my personality that I have kept under wraps for a long time. The reason I joined this site last year was to investigate that and try to figure out how to start incorporating them into my daily life in a more productive way. I am the first person to admit I have a long way to go and very limited experience in indulging my dominant side. Sure compared to all of the Super Dom Osbornes here, I may just be some pussy wannabe, but that's OK with me. I'm working every day to be more controlled. I'm already very agressive and intense according to most, I just need to work the rest of it in and I will. I'm pretty sure that's the definition of sucking it up and dealing with it.

I'll also go with the that's why the bitch left. As far as I'm concerned that was a win for me. Lots of things I didn't mention she said told me I was never going to be happy with her regardless of how dominant I was since she wasn't just looking for a dominant or Dom in her life, she was looking for a WEALTHY Dom and I'm sure she'll find one and I hope she finds the happiness she's looking for. I'm not bitter, I was just confused. Still am. But not as much now.

I'm not interested in a slave, or a spineless milksop with no self esteem. I'd just as soon get a dog. I'm also not interested in a non communicative gold digging tramp that's going to make me guess the whole time we're together. I don't want a string of annonymous subs that I have no connection with. I want someone I can respect who respects me and will follow my lead. Someone that vibrates that tuning for in my brain. I want to work at a dominant/submissive relationship with that person over a period of time. I call into question a person's motives of why they are with me if all they want is someone good with a whip and they don't care who it is. That's my job and going outside without my permission is cheating. And I will not tollerate that at all.

I know any time I post on this site I risk a lot of ridicule. There is so much grey area and everybody's different so I have learned to just filter out what works for me and ignore the noise. Sexyred1, You are always so very supportive and I appreciate that, but Awareness makes a lot of good points that I have taken to heart. I appreciate all of the feedback as it's already making a positive difference.

< Message edited by OriginallyFromLA -- 3/25/2011 6:37:10 PM >

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Post #: 46

RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/25/2011 6:48:37 PM

Awareness

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Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
You must be kidding. GIFT of attention and time?? Oh, you must mean like the gift of submission. Please.

Since when do women have to be paid for their time and attention? Giving flowers is courting behaviour and it's something that men need to erase from their pre-sex activity when they're pursuing a woman. Especially when a man is screening a sub, it just sends an incredibly confusing message.

quote:

Just because you are bitter and negative, does not mean that all Doms, such as this guy should be.

Don't be stupid. Advocating a man chooses wisely when deciding which women are worthy of extra effort isn't bitterness, it's teaching him the principle of selection. This is something that smart, self-aware women understand. If a man gives flowers to every woman, then giving them to you is meaningless - simply because it's indiscriminate. Likewise, if a woman receives flowers every day, she grows to expect them and eventually feels entitled to receive them every day. If a man gives a sub his time and attention, then by definition she's already ahead of the game. She needs no further tokens to feed her ego - that is, unless her self-esteem is pretty low to begin with.

quote:

And guess what genius? If this guy or anyone wants to give flowers or behave in a courteous manner in ADDITION to being all big, bad and Domly, then let them.

You're just not operating on a level of understanding where I can explain this to you. Never mind.

quote:

Some of us women prefer men who are mutlifaceted in their behavior.

No. Some of you are operating from a place where your ego determines your advice to other people. As such, it's unique to you, not generic enough to be useful to them.

quote:

I hope the OP can filter out some of the comments he is getting and take it from who it comes from.

I'm sure he is. At least for his sake, I hope he is.

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Post #: 47

RE: Relationship advice wanted - 3/26/2011 6:41:26 AM

OriginallyFromLA

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
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How about this. I got what I needed from this particular post. I'm by no means done learning, exploring or asking questions, but I need some time to process what I have learned from it and your responses. Until I get out and meet some people I'm going to just leave it alone for now.

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We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well, and live.-Quintas Arius

Love IS pain, Highness. Anyone that says different is selling something.-Dread Pirate Roberts

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Post #: 48