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RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/24/2011 6:26:05 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Are you sure there aren't any ulterior motives for you posting this more than once though?
Like, perhaps advertising for that third you have been mentioning for the past few months?
"My Dom is the shiznitz of all shiznitz! If he can do this to me, he can do it to you too"!

that's kinda my thought on it.
it's wonderful, crystalclarinet (♥ the name by the way, i'm a clarinetist too), that you have this great connection with your D. you're feeling swept on a current in the Amaaazin' River and you're concerned that it's too fast?? or too intense?
like some others have said, starting this second post that's written by your Dom (with probably a fair amount of his ego thrown in) probably wasn't the most constructive way to continue this conversation, and you've found that other people really do have the same experience you're having.
i remember from the other thread you said you felt that this part -- sex -- was moving faster than the rest of the relationship, like living together, etc. that's actually fairly common, too, because living together is complicated in a lot of ways that sex isn't. additionally a person can be fantabulous at sex, but terrible at other parts of a relationship. they aren't always connected, and they don't always progress at the same rate.
BUT you've found a guy you like, and who likes you, you guys have a great physical connection, and an emotional one. you're moving towards some idea of the future together, even if you haven't gotten there yet. that all sounds good to me. don't spend too much time over-analyzing and second-guessing, enjoy it for what it is right now. life will bring things along that will knock it down every now and again, so just enjoy it when it's there, but don't get so overly attached to it, and define your relationship by it, that when it changes (and it WILL because that's all life really does) you feel like your whole relationship is changing.

if your D wants to do some horn-tooting, he can come here and do it himself, yeah? =p

(as an aside, but not intended as a full-on hijacking, sometimes it sounds like orgasms are like... the currency you collect after beating up boss monsters in RPGs =p "dude, i just beat Hitachisaurus! 500,000 orgasms! Sweet!" if i have 1, i'm happy. if i have 10, i'm happy.)

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RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/24/2011 6:37:52 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
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Lol at Hitachisaurus! What a monster!

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RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/24/2011 8:53:47 PM

crystalclarinet

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Joined: 10/29/2009
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Perhaps he wishes there was that kind of motive for it, but we are no where close to that type of thing. We still like I stated in my other post, haven't even moved in together... We are not willing to add a third into things until we know for sure we work, Its a good year or more away before we would even consider going there, since he wants to insure that I am comfortable with the idea of a third. He's great I love him, yeah hes got a huge ego,but (no offense met to any Doms out there) who has meet a Dom that doesn't have a huge ego, I mean there must be some, but I haven't meet them. Bottom line he was trying to help me express what I was trying to express in a round about way, but he did it very bluntly so that I could be satisfied with the answers I got, and I was able to get the answers I was looking for, and it was good to know that perhaps there is a name for what is acutally going on.

I know that perhaps for some people having great sex is just that, but yes I do ask and think and wonder about these types of things.... I mean hasn't anyone else.... The first time you took a spanking and liked it did you not wonder why and if other people were? Maybe its my age as to why I want to know, maybe not. It was not a ploy or a plot or anything as such.

For those that were willing to chime in and say that they have or have not had experiences it was great... Also for the person that suggested sub space it was great because it sounds like that might be exactly what it is.... and if that is what it is it would totally explain why I feel the way I do about it.

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Post #: 43

RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/25/2011 1:13:30 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet

The first time you took a spanking and liked it did you not wonder why and if other people were?

And if other people were....? Enjoying getting spanked? No, I didn't have to wonder because I already knew since I'd seen them getting spanked and seen them enjoying it.

And no I didn't wonder why I enjoyed getting whacked. I was surprised because prior to it I never would have considered myself a masochist, but I didn't wonder why. I simply accepted that I got high off the pain and had fun! :)

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RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/26/2011 7:30:53 AM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet
He's great I love him, yeah hes got a huge ego,but (no offense met to any Doms out there) who has meet a Dom that doesn't have a huge ego, I mean there must be some, but I haven't meet them.

I have! Plenty of them don't. Personally I wouldn't date one with an overinflated ego, I couldn't take them seriously. But if that makes you happy, good for you. It sounds like you guys get on great so far, I hope it continues that way. :)

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RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/26/2011 9:42:04 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet

Perhaps he wishes there was that kind of motive for it, but we are no where close to that type of thing. We still like I stated in my other post, haven't even moved in together... We are not willing to add a third into things until we know for sure we work, Its a good year or more away before we would even consider going there, since he wants to insure that I am comfortable with the idea of a third. He's great I love him, yeah hes got a huge ego,but (no offense met to any Doms out there) who has meet a Dom that doesn't have a huge ego, I mean there must be some, but I haven't meet them. Bottom line he was trying to help me express what I was trying to express in a round about way, but he did it very bluntly so that I could be satisfied with the answers I got, and I was able to get the answers I was looking for, and it was good to know that perhaps there is a name for what is acutally going on.

I know that perhaps for some people having great sex is just that, but yes I do ask and think and wonder about these types of things.... I mean hasn't anyone else.... The first time you took a spanking and liked it did you not wonder why and if other people were? Maybe its my age as to why I want to know, maybe not. It was not a ploy or a plot or anything as such.

For those that were willing to chime in and say that they have or have not had experiences it was great... Also for the person that suggested sub space it was great because it sounds like that might be exactly what it is.... and if that is what it is it would totally explain why I feel the way I do about it.

1. If you do not even live together, it is really easy to have amazing sex. The trick is, to have amazing sex after you have been together for a long time. I have more admiration for that.

2. Being a good Dom, which is subjective anyway, is not predicated upon having a huge ego. Sometimes having a huge ego is narcissistic, which eventually makes for a bad partner.

3. I was having great sex younger than you, so your age is not the issue.

4. No, I never wondered why I like what I like or why I do what I do in this arena. I am just happy that I know what I like. I never needed to share with the world about my sex life, unless the girls were talking trash over cocktails, then, yeah, I might have participated.

5. Your partner wanted you to post this for HIM, not for you. He is getting off on it, which is cool for him.

6. I would advise you that if you are this crazed over your sex life, to use caution and judgement in considering a third. Perhaps your man is buttering you up with some amazing sex to get you to say yes to sharing. I don't do sharing, but if you are willing to share this amazinginess with another woman, good for you. Just be sure it is what you want and you are not blinded by your orgasms.

They can make you blind sometimes, until you really start to see.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 3/26/2011 9:43:08 AM >

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RE: Breaking Down the Physical - 3/27/2011 3:55:45 AM

kalikshama

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

quote:

ORIGINAL: crystalclarinet

The first time you took a spanking and liked it did you not wonder why and if other people were?

And if other people were....? Enjoying getting spanked? No, I didn't have to wonder because I already knew since I'd seen them getting spanked and seen them enjoying it.

I do think you should go to local events.

quote:

My main case and point is that yes I really do feel kind of alone in this... its not something I have experienced before and without being really blunt I am not so sure that people were understanding what exactly I was meaning. I am still young to the BDSM thing... at least on a healthy level and I do feel alone, and due to time restraints my Dom just doesn't have time to get out to the local events, so we do not have many friends that are in the lifestyle,

Really? Who can't find a few hours a month?

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