Background Checks (Full Version)

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tjsub91 -> Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:31:30 AM)

How normal is it for Dommes now days to ask for background checks on here before meeting? i don't really have a problem with it, but here is the site i was given and i'm not sure if it's legit or not. i'm leaning towards no as it doesn't really have any info about the company. i've never done a background check though, so i don't know the difference i guess. Any help here would be appreciated. Here's the site, hope someone can help or give advice. Thanks.

http://gdwebsolutions.yolasite.com/



mistressko -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:37:26 AM)

Dunno where you live but here for a fee the police will let you come in and pay for a background check (on yourself), a copy of which can be directly mailed to the other person (or company etc) and a copy for you.

-K



BeachMystress -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:37:48 AM)

Do not use it. I googled the web address of the site and it doesn't come up. The three sites that DO come up are consumer complaint sites.

And I've never done a background check on any sub or boyfriend.



tjsub91 -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:42:22 AM)

Thanks for the replies. I tried to google it as well and got the same thing. i appreciate the help and advice.



mistressko -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:45:13 AM)

@Beachmystress I haven't either, there is so much information you can find out totally free on the internet from legitimate places such as email groups, social networking. The right email address is really all you need. The rest you get from real world contact and 'vibes'. www.pipl.com is a good one for that.

-K



Lockit -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:51:21 AM)

Any website that doesn't offer information on what it provides or even does and wants your information, isn't a good idea. There are many companies that do background searches that do offer information, however one bit of information that they do not offer is that their information may be on many different people with the same name, may not be complete and may be so old that it might not help you. Edit to add: Also, many states have laws about the information you can get and although a company may say that they have results you can buy and they may even say there is a criminal history, by the state it may not be public information you can get unless you go directly and in person to the agency. So you just paid to have someone tell you, you can't access the information.

There are ways to get information and sometimes you can get it for free, but using a background check isn't all some might believe it is. What I have found is it costs a lot of money and you still may come back with little to nothing. Especially if you don't have the real name or only one name of the person you are looking into. The more information you have on whoever you are looking into, the easier it will be to determine whether the information you get back is the correct person.

Look yourself up. You may see what I mean.

As for checking up on someone I am to meet, yes I do sometimes do that. A couple of times I have been sorry I didn't do it, however, for personal reasons I do not want to check into every person I meet. I only do so when there is a chance of this person getting too close to me or family and has sent up a red flag I am unsure of in it being a dangerous red flag or something that could be explained away.

I have found some very, very interesting information out there and I rarely pay for anything. No one knows I have been checking someone out, it doesn't cost me anything but time and I am happy enough with the results. I don't always need legal documentation on anything. I just want to see what might be problem areas... to me. I do not ever... I mean, do not ever use the information for any purpose but my families safety and someone I have checked out may never know. I could get wrong information and therefore will only use the information along with my gut, if the person poses a threat in any manner. My heart isn't a threat. I can deal with a broken heart. I cannot deal with criminal acts or history.

Their privacy does matter to me... but so does the safety of my family. Guess who wins? [:D]



WyldHrt -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 10:30:15 AM)

yolasite.com is a free site host (bad), and the subdomain page asking for your info is not secure. Did you notice that it asks for both your Paypal and email passwords along with your CC info? The page is full of spelling and grammatical errors, and the whole thing just reeks of a phishing site.

IMO, you would be out of your mind to fill out that form with real info. 



BeachMystress -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 11:14:05 AM)

I was working on removing my info from search sites that Facebook shared my info with before I realized to turn off the option. While doing so, I found a site, http://www.intelius.com/ that seems to be a decent legitimate background check site. Rather pissed me off to find that they won't remove your info from it as it is "public record" .. sigh



Lockit -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 11:24:31 AM)

I hate that website. It is one of the worst!

I figure the information is out there and I can't get it off every site. I am just glad there are so many people with every name I have ever had and most would have a hard time figuring out who I really was and which information was good. lol



LadyPact -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 2:19:57 PM)

I don't do the background check thing.  I tend to meet folks through the local BDSM community.  That situation is like having built in references.  



kalikshama -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 6:43:07 PM)

Twice I've gotten a bad feeling and looked up someone in my county's Clerk of Courts database. Both times the man in question turned out to have two Domestic Violence convictions. Needless to say, that was it for them.

OP - in your case it sounds like a new version of an old scam - directing someone to a website that will be used to steal your identity.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 7:08:51 PM)

I have never done aa background check on anyone. If my gut says I have a bad one, I listen!



Arpig -> RE: Background Checks (3/22/2011 9:38:17 PM)

I wouldn't give a background check...but then again I would freely answer with all the gory details...when and where I was arrested, what for, and so on.



wyngedbyste -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 5:27:18 AM)

A background check requires a lot of personal information, which will likely include your social security number and date of birth.

I personally would not ask someone I've never met to go through a background check. If we got closer, maybe. But probably not.

Byste



OttersSwim -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 7:01:08 AM)

Most states have public listings on the internet of registered sex offenders - you can search by name.

I personally have a bit of an issue with the whole concept of criminal background checks.  Our system is based on paying your debt to society and then you are supposed to be free.

A felony conviction for most folks today means the rest of your life will be lived in severe financial hardship - many banks will not loan to you, most major companies will not hire you, some states won't let you vote, you will have extreme difficulty ever owning a gun...and the list goes on and on...

I get that there are bad folk out there who repeat and are not people for whom you would like to know or be in relationship with...but what about the guy who was busted on drug charges when he was 17, tried as an adult, and at age 35 was still dealing with having his whole life pretty much wrecked by the system?  I was forced to turn that very guy down for a job by my company at the time...



SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 7:13:11 AM)

I agree completely with the above post.

I don't do background checks, I go with my gut feeling. M




chiaThePet -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 7:39:02 AM)


Ohhhhhhhhh, thought this was about the unmade bed, dirty underwear hanging on the chair,
and bound by shoelaces Barbie on the bookcase in profile photos.

Nevermind.

chia* (the pet)



OttersSwim -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 7:43:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


Ohhhhhhhhh, thought this was about the unmade bed, dirty underwear hanging on the chair,
and bound by shoelaces Barbie on the bookcase in profile photos.

Nevermind.

chia* (the pet)



Or DarkSteven's toilet...the "Background Check" of all time!  [;)]



LadyPact -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 7:47:03 AM)

~ Hijack ~

I'm afraid I disagree with both of you. 

This is only My personal opinion, of course, but I'm going to go back and lean on kalikshama's example.  My heart doesn't bleed a bit for anybody who has been convicted of a Domestic Violence charge who has that on their record and it follows them.  I feel the exact same way for anybody who has any type of sexual assault.  It doesn't bother Me at all that those folks can't own guns for life.  Folks can make their own determinations of whether or not they want to be involved in a personal relationship after someone tells them the story of how they were young and didn't know better or it was really all just a big mistake that they got convicted on charges where others were harmed.  It doesn't mean that I want to see them owning a weapon.

~ End hijack. ~



Lockit -> RE: Background Checks (3/23/2011 8:39:27 AM)

What does the average sex offender/child molester or domestic abuser look like? What do they sound like? Are they any different than anyone else? Is your gut right and has it been right every single person you have ever met?

You men... have you ever been tossed around a room like a rag doll... held by the throat against a wall... followed, raped... basically vulnerable to size and intent?

How many of you have personally run into a mass murder in the course of your daily life? Were they different?

Women and children make more likely victims. Anyone that can be seen as weaker, can be. The incidence of handicapped or the ill being abused is much higher than average.

It only takes one time of misjudgment, of the gut not working right and you too could be victim. Are we saying that a victim wouldn't have to be a victim if they only had a working gut? We are smarter than the average? Luckier? Stronger? What? What is it exactly that we are saying here? Meeting someone in person your risks go down?

If your gut is that good... we need a Minority Report type system and you can be the one that protects the rest of us.

What about those that are charming, sometimes very educated, no history of anything and the first time they go off, they murder someone and no one believes it? Could that be you? Could you be near the neighbor down the street that everyone thinks is fine, that likes to teach Sunday School, bring soup to the sick and then does something awful? There are mental illnesses where people seem wonderful, but they have no real feelings for others, but they are notorious for faking them. Would you believe the act or your gut protect you?

Sometimes the gut isn't enough. Sometimes whether it be self delusion or distraction or someone getting around your radar, you meet a bad guy. If it is just you involved... okay... you missed something maybe... I will allow for that for a moment... but hey... what about your family? Willing to bring someone home to them? With the high rates of abuse, sexual assault and kidnapping etc? I trust my gut a lot, but my gut can be fooled or wrong. Not often granted... but... I can be wrong.

My ex husband was a first time offender... no one believed it. So much so that they blamed me for whatever they thought happened. Too bad, next wife and kids in line. Every single day of my life is left with a reminder of that man. I am so over it... but sometimes, I do think back... three years of marriage... in the ministry... all we did... how he treated me so well and then one day he gets frustrated drinks and drugs and comes home ready for a fight because in over three years he had never done that. Turning point in his life. Same for me. All it took to curve my spine was one touch... or toss. The monster came out, no one believed, Lockit must have done something to him... she was the monster... but I guess now.. the new wife is too.

Are you sure you would know? Really?

(This was a fast reply!)



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