RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set?

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RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? - 3/28/2011 4:53:33 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
Haven't you just described a PUA? (As opposed to a Pick Up Lamer or a Pick Up Wannabe?)

Not the way I use the term. Take the same person she described and add in a few years serious study and then maybe.

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RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? - 3/28/2011 4:56:53 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

A man will be successful with me if he is open about who is he (and I do not mean guys who run around saying what assholes they are: because I am not interested in someone proud of that fact) and what he wants from a woman and life.

A man who understands finesse and seduction; one who communicates with me.

A man who is aware of the duality of his nature and mine.

A man who is passionate about many things, not just sex.

And finally, a man interests me the most who demonstrates focused interest on ME, not generic interest in just meeting a warm female body.

Oh, and he does not have to be tall, just attractive to me, no one else.

Haven't you just described a PUA? (As opposed to a Pick Up Lamer or a Pick Up Wannabe?)

No, I don't think so. Unless these semantics are falling over each other, I was hoping I was describing my ideal guy who was genuine, not a player and who expressed genuine interest in a mature fashion.

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RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? - 3/28/2011 5:40:57 PM

crazyml

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The point I was making (albeit badly!) was that the traits you've described are traits that a really successful PUA would have, not that they're traits that they'd actually use to pick people up.

The OP wasn't asking whether successful Doms were pickup artists, simply whether they had the skills of a pickup artist. The difference is intent.. Your ideal guy would not be a PUA by any means - I'm not suggesting that for a second - but I think your ideal guy would have many of the traits/skills/characteristics that would make him a successful PUA if he were to be so inclined (which he wouldn't of course).

The most successful PUA's I've seen understand finesse and seduction, and communicate with the people they're picking up. They understand the duality of their nature and that of the person they're picking up, they are passionate about many things, not just sex. They know absolutely that in order to pick up the real prizes they need to demonstrate a real interest in the person they're picking up.

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RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? - 3/28/2011 10:37:29 PM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
While height certainly gives taller chaps an advantage in many cases, I'm certain that a 5'7" guy with the right levels of humour, empathy and communication skills could beat a six footer any time.

Back in Oz, one of the best guys with women I knew was 5'6", although he was a good looking guy. Tall is an advantage in the same way in which looks is an advantage. That is, it's almost insignificant to the vast majority of women. There are always exceptions of course, but there's enough women out there for this to be irrelevant. "Attractive" doesn't necessarily mean "good looking".

Generally speaking, women test - consciously or unconsciously - for survival skills. Strong, socially adept men who can dominate an interaction and aren't afraid to walk away tend to demonstrate many of the attributes women are looking for. In general, pickup artists demonstrate those attributes and the only distinction is whether they're faking it well or they've simply reached a point where it's all natural.

When you're in that space, women not only enjoy you, but compliment you on your spine and willingness to call them on their bullshit. Far too many men are spineless in the face of a woman's disapproval and unwilling to jeopardise the interaction by risking her anger.

Some women, I find object to the very idea of pickup artists. Finding such women amongst subs is especially amusing because I tend to find it's subs who are most likely to be self-aware, enjoy being a woman and appreciate a man who enjoys being a man. Basically, self-aware women who are secure in themselves. It's only the insecure women who have a problem with it and proclaim that they could never be picked up by such men.

The irony, of course, is that such women are generally easier to pickup because they believe their virtue protects them.

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RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? - 3/28/2011 11:35:36 PM

IronBear

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There was a time when ladies were easier to pick up (provided you were offering a dinner as well) after they had pre-checked the escape routes via the dunny windows. Know a few of them who were wined and dined and pissed off leaving the bloke with the bill and his lust.. Just part of the game after all....

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RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? - 3/29/2011 8:12:53 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Generally speaking, women test - consciously or unconsciously - for survival skills. Strong, socially adept men who can dominate an interaction and aren't afraid to walk away tend to demonstrate many of the attributes women are looking for.

i find those traits endearing and have never involved myself with a dominant man that "asked" for my hand. The men in my life had the audacity to take what they desired. But i like that.

quote:

Some women, I find object to the very idea of pickup artists. Finding such women amongst subs is especially amusing because I tend to find it's subs who are most likely to be self-aware, enjoy being a woman and appreciate a man who enjoys being a man.

i don't believe submissive women are very different from women that aren't submissive. In fact, many of the struggles they endure is mainly due to the internal landscape you're speaking of. She "submits" but often maintains the same ideologies she had outside of her submission. The dichotomy wreaks havoc on more than a few. And how a woman can yield yet emasculate baffles the heck out of me, but it is very commonplace.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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