Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra Challenge in the Chase?

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Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra Chall... - 3/26/2011 3:17:52 AM

NiceGuyNihilist

Posts: 194
Joined: 3/25/2011
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There's no shortage of posts from unattached submissive men who plainly bear a deep resentment for the natural advantage dominant women have over them in the courting process, due to the large ratio of submissive men to dominant women. I must admit I can deeply sympathize. If I never made such a crybaby post myself, it's only because I was too sulky even to acknowledge my feelings to myself by writing them.

Lately, though, I've started to take a different perspective. I find I like most of my pursuits to be extremely challenging, and can't think of any logical reason why the pursuit of a dominant woman should be an exception. Why should competing with hordes of other men for the attention of a goddess be less dangerously enjoyable than any other extreme sport?

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 3:43:11 AM

Arieno

Posts: 32
Joined: 2/4/2011
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quote:

There's no shortage of posts from unattached submissive men who plainly bear a deep resentment for the natural advantage dominant women have over them in the courting process, due to the large ratio of submissive men to dominant women. I must admit I can deeply sympathize. If I never made such a crybaby post myself, it's only because I was too sulky even to acknowledge my feelings to myself by writing them.
Lately, though, I've started to take a different perspective. I find I like most of my pursuits to be extremely challenging, and can't think of any logical reason why the pursuit of a dominant woman should be an exception. Why should competing with hordes of other men for the attention of a goddess be less dangerously enjoyable than any other extreme sport?

From my prospective, I do not view an imbalance in numbers significant, I am not in competition with other males and I am not interested in their philosophies or adopting their standards. Further I do not view searching for a counterpart as a challenge.
Contrary to the belief of many I as a man and as a submissive reject entirely the thinking’s and beliefs that submissive men are patterned cut from the same cloth, that we have somehow lost our individuality and rush to mental masturbations each time we see a cleavage or well turned calf.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 4:12:43 AM

NiceGuyNihilist

Posts: 194
Joined: 3/25/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arieno

I am not in competition with other males

I think you're really saying you don't behave in an overtly competitive way, which is different from not being in competition. Of course you're in competition. Unless you've locked her in the closet (thereby somewhat defeating the purpose of a female-led relationship), a woman has the ability to choose between you and another man; therefore, you are in competition.

< Message edited by NiceGuyNihilist -- 3/26/2011 4:14:12 AM >

(in reply to Arieno)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 4:43:21 AM

YSG

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
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Not always. Competition is a choice. The way I see it, I dont need to compete. I'm me. Those that Im compatible with will find me.

Also, side note, somewhat related: I do get persued from time to time. Usually, for me, it seems that the relationship actually goes somewhere when the lady does the persuing.

_____________________________

Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 6:22:09 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

Lately, though, I've started to take a different perspective. I find I like most of my pursuits to be extremely challenging, and can't think of any logical reason why the pursuit of a dominant woman should be an exception.

Greetings,

They say that revelations usually comes in threes and I must admit that has been the case in the last twenty-four hours. Madam reality has been riding my back over the past seven days and I've been severely out of whack for reasons that escaped me until now. Having come to the conclusion that what I desire isn't what I need to be happy, and rediscovering the importance of being pushed and having some measure of force in my relationship, I stumble onto your post and find the third piece of the triangle. While you posit challenge as the motivating element for continuance, I recognize its omission is the catalyst for my laissez-faire attitude and outright boredom.

I cannot speak for the female dominant populace, but acknowledge there's a lot of Candyland on the other side and the idea of competing for that is difficult for me to fathom. You highlight the merits of the chase, but I'm left to wonder what you're running after? In my mind that's the real coup and I would hope it's worth the sprint. Raising the bar for the sake of engagement is not the same as an individual that inspires its ascension. That's the beauty of the position that you've omitted to discuss. Nor do you recognize its connectedness and how one aspect inspires the other in a bilateral fashion.

It is thrilling because He provides something of substance that generates the excitement expressed. You enjoy the challenge because He inspires you to go above and beyond your norm. It isn't something you put on display for the sake of capturing 'a' dominant, but 'the' dominant that presents an avenue worth exploring. I think you're getting caught up in the hype and may find yourself woefully disappointed when the buzz wears off.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 6:35:13 AM

DarkSteven

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The "competition" is overrated. Here's how to leave them in the dust.

1. Your initial message should be something like "Hi. I noticed you said XX in a post/your profile." Then you simply give your own take on the very same thing. Agree, disagree, doesn't matter. Just engage her on the topic.

That's it. Don't call her Mistress, Goddess, or anything else except perhaps her username.

2. Don't be upset if she doesn't respond. Move on.

3. Keep the conversation away from sex/kink/play at first. This does several things. It shocks the hell out of her if you can hold a conversation without it, setting you apart from the wanker hordes. It also sees if the two of you are compatible outside the bedroom. And it's simply mannerly.

4. A sense of humor is almost always appreciated. If you can make her laugh, you're in like Flynn.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to YSG)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 11:30:52 AM

Arieno

Posts: 32
Joined: 2/4/2011
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quote:

I think you're really saying you don't behave in an overtly competitive way, which is different from not being in competition. Of course you're in competition.

The only challenges I recognize are those challenges that would make me less then I already am.
I am not in competition with my fellow man outside the business world and most of the men I associate with I respect and admire, some are submissive and searching for a counterpart too but that does not make me their competitor nor would I violate their trust to satisfy my own selfish passion and desire.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 6:10:13 PM

HandSolo

Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The "competition" is overrated. Here's how to leave them in the dust.

1. Your initial message should be something like "Hi. I noticed you said XX in a post/your profile." Then you simply give your own take on the very same thing. Agree, disagree, doesn't matter. Just engage her on the topic.

That's it. Don't call her Mistress, Goddess, or anything else except perhaps her username.

2. Don't be upset if she doesn't respond. Move on.

3. Keep the conversation away from sex/kink/play at first. This does several things. It shocks the hell out of her if you can hold a conversation without it, setting you apart from the wanker hordes. It also sees if the two of you are compatible outside the bedroom. And it's simply mannerly.

4. A sense of humor is almost always appreciated. If you can make her laugh, you're in like Flynn.

5. Repeat 1,000 times.

_____________________________

I plan on leaving this world the way I came in: naked, screaming and by accident.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/26/2011 10:05:00 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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i do not enjoy the chase as much as i enjoy serving my Mistress it is what makes me happy to be able to please Her as well as i can

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LadyPact

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/27/2011 4:41:12 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

Raising the bar for the sake of engagement is not the same as an individual that inspires its ascension.

This. If you're focussed on the competition and the thrill of the chase you're looking at what the men around you are doing, where they are in comparison to you - not at what you could be building with the woman in question. You're facing the wrong direction.

We aren't in the middle ages any more - jousting for the hand of a lady you barely know is out of date and patronising.

And we all know those knights were getting it on with their pageboys, anyway

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RE: Straight Male Subs: Do Any of You Enjoy the Extra C... - 3/27/2011 8:43:47 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

This. If you're focussed on the competition and the thrill of the chase you're looking at what the men around you are doing, where they are in comparison to you - not at what you could be building with the woman in question. You're facing the wrong direction.

Exactly. And the competition you're envisioning may not be a factor of your particular quest.

quote:

We aren't in the middle ages any more - jousting for the hand of a lady you barely know is out of date and patronising.

Or the modern day two-step with the male variety. Not gonna happen. i think it all stems from a want of attention. Including those that enjoy a man's pursuit. Alas i'm a simple girl. Just take it... if you can.