how do you tame a wild sub?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

how do you tame a wild sub?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> how do you tame a wild sub?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 11:49:40 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

it has been said that a wild sub cannot be tamed because they are not a sub at all. besides myself, are there other subs out there that people view as untameable?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:07:05 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

For my personal perspective, your question is far too unspecific to be answerable. Wild and crazy or ... wildly disrespectful, wildly unwilling to please and submit, wildly argumentative merely to annoy and aggravate? It would be easier to contemplate your question with more information into what you mean by a wild submissive, thanks.

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:07:32 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

When He is frustrated (hardly EVER...I SWEAR!) Master threatens to have 'Totally Untrainable' tattooed on my rear.

Mostly He says I am very good. Uhm...usually...sorta...in a way...

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:08:03 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear MichaelGA2, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I have to take the thought, that what is "untameable" to one, is not to another. As, some people will submit to one and not another. It really is a choice and "will."

Some "wild" submissives take the approach of wishing to be captured, forced and tamed. However, it really makes it difficult to establish the line between scene resistance and or real stoppage of cooperation due to reaching their individual limits in the "submissive" status.

There are those, who are like brats are those who attract those who tolerate and think bratty is cute. So the untamed wild submissive fits into a role play but, like brats --wild submissives just want attention their way.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:11:26 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

untameable: being over-opinionated or outspoken (in my case) not sure about others

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:40:40 PM

Jane2376

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline

In my opinion everyone can be tamed. I guess it's just a matter of finding the right person and the right methods. That being said, some people are SO stubborn that you would have to break them to subdue them, and / or use methods that are not condusive to being healthy. I in NO WAY condone those things, I'm just making a point.

Anyways, as for myself I was once considered unruly but I switched doms and now I'm no longer that way, well at least not often lol. My other dom and I just weren't compatable I guess, he wanted someone that was truely a submissive. Someone that did as they were told, just because they were told. I am not that way, I need a bit of persuading. I want to know that my dom will follow through and punish me if I don't behave, but that's just me. So I stick by what I said, just a matter of finding the right person and the right method, and of course, knowing wether you truely wish to be tamed or not.

Jane

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:43:15 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

untameable: being over-opinionated or outspoken (in my case) not sure about others

This feeds right into what LadyHugs said doesn't it.

Fox is sometimes viewed as a bit "uppity" by others though I frankly don't know why since I find him to be very obedient and very well mannered. I think others might expect a push-over and for him to not have opinions with them.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 12:51:39 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

untameable: being over-opinionated or outspoken (in my case) not sure about others

MichaelGa2....... that would be me right there... opinionated.... outspoken... been told I am non submissive.. a switch... a bitch even... lol.... because I refuse to bow down to just anyone who e-mails me and says kneel before my bitch. And if i so choose to reply... i'm outspoken in what I think of them.
Off the internet... been told about the same thing. I shouldn't speak unless spoken too... I should this.. I should that... i'm more.. I should put my foot up your ass for being such a stupid wanna be Dom.
Not a brat... not an attention seeker... i'm just me... and when the right one comes alone... and it won't be by force... that I will .... want to submit to...he'll have such a way about him... or her.. though i've never submitted to a female before.... it'll be the one that will make me beg to submit to...
Until then.... i'm still opinionated.... outspoken... and just being me... doesn't make me any less submissive... and that right one.... when they show up... will not try to stop me... from being opinionated... and or outspoken... they're going to appreciate it.. and use it ...to benefit from it.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 1:29:14 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

untameable: being over-opinionated or outspoken (in my case) not sure about others

I really agreed with what LadyHugs said. A submissive needs only a Dominant who can channel his/her energy appropriately. If you feel submissive in your heart, then who is to say you are not submissive? The Dom I submitted to before meeting my Master said I was unteachable and could never be pleasing. That was not due to outpokenness or wildness, rather my insecurities at the time. Was he right? Heh - ask my Master that.

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 2:20:04 PM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

When my girl tests my control, sometimes she's met with a brick wall and slams up against it, hurting herself. Sometimes I'm a bit softer and sometimes yet I'm just not in the mood to reign her in and go through the "dominance motions". Depending what she needs at the time, we don't always click perfectly. I'm not always super dominant, especially if I know she's just pushing buttons and manipulating. Sometimes when she does that, I'll withdraw control a little, and she doesn't like that. But often it has the effect of her submitting completely of her own will, and then I'll take her against me and let her know she's mine no matter what.

Hard to answer the initial question, though. And I do admit that some submissives are probably just acting submissive, kind of like how many college girls are "bisexual" for a couple years because it's cool and becoming much more acceptable. I don't have time for submissives like that. I want reality in my connections.

EDIT: ownedgirlie, I agree. On the flip side of the coin, some dominants will call a submissive "not really submissive" as an insult to try and get back some control lost when they failed to properly train or control the submissive. This is pretty cowardly. Instead, the dominant should be saying "I failed at controlling you. Maybe you're not submissive enough or in the right ways. Maybe I'm not dominant enough or in the right ways. And maybe we're just not compatible." As opposed to "you suck at being submissive!!111"

< Message edited by CanadianGuy -- 5/7/2006 2:24:06 PM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 2:47:29 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Submissive
Main Entry: sub·mis·sive
Pronunciation: -'mi-siv
Function: adjective
: submitting to others

Submit
Main Entry: sub·mit
Pronunciation: s&b-'mit
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): sub·mit·ted; sub·mit·ting
Etymology: Middle English submitten, from Latin submittere to lower, submit, from sub- + mittere to send
transitive senses
1 a : to yield to governance or authority

Personality

Main Entry: per·son·al·i·ty

Pronunciation: "p&r-s&n-'a-l&-tE, "p&r-'sna-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Etymology: Middle English personalite, from Late Latin personalitat-, personalitas, from personalis
1 a : the quality or state of being a person b : personal existence
2 a : the condition or fact of relating to a particular person; specifically : the condition of referring directly to or being aimed disparagingly or hostilely at an individual b : an offensively personal remark <angrily resorted to personalities>
3 : the complex of characteristics that distinguishes an individual or a nation or group; especially : the totality of an individual's behavioral and emotional characteristics
4 a : distinction or excellence of personal and social traits; also : a person having such quality b : a person of importance, prominence, renown, or notoriety <a TV personality>
synonym see DISPOSITION

Tame
TamedMain Entry: 2tame
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): tamed; tam·ing
transitive senses
1 a : to reduce from a wild to a domestic state b : to subject to cultivation c : to bring under control : HARNESS
2 : to deprive of spirit : HUMBLE, SUBDUE <the once revolutionary... party, long since tamed -- Times Literary Supplement>
3 : to tone down : SOFTEN <tamed the language in the play>
intransitive senses : to become tame

Comment:
People come with all types of personalities. I guess the only factor here in regards to submission is, "Is the person, no matter their personality, willing and able to submit to the authority of another?"

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 2:54:11 PM

babygirlangel

Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

i'd like to thank those that posted in this thread, because i have questioned my submission.... but i feel that there is that one out there that can take me and... mold me... direct me appropriately... you have given me support i needed
Thanks, Angel

_____________________________

Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 2:59:19 PM

MsMacComb

Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline

Caning.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to babygirlangel)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 3:20:12 PM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

More to the point... is the person untrainable, or just not interested in BEING trained... submitting on one's own terms as opposed to blanket submission...

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to MsMacComb)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 3:29:32 PM

darq

Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline

Wild sub ... Sounds like a non domesticated sandwich.

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to Dustyn)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 3:56:21 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

untameable: being over-opinionated or outspoken (in my case) not sure about others

I don't think I would consider this type of personality as untameable or even wild. Intelligent, outgoing, confident human beings are always going to be opinionated and outspoken. It's a product of having a healthy brain that likes excercise.

(I'm not sure there's such a thing as over-opinionated, anyway. I think that's shorthand for someone who is assertive or even aggressive in expressing their opinions...)

I have very strong opinions on pretty much everything, I'm very outspoken. But I'm also polite and respectful by nature. I doubt anyone who knows me would consider me untameable, unless it was someone who was trying to manipulate me into being submissive without my permission to do so.

Are there subs out there who just can't be dominated by anyone? I'd have to say I doubt anyone fitting that description would actually be submissive. My guess is that they are more of a bottom, and don't realize that.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 4:31:32 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

In business, there's something called a "cost-benefit analysis". Originating with French engineer Jules Dupuit in the mid-1800's, a cost-benefit analysis requires taking a really close look at a project or object to see if the benefits of acquiring it (building it, developing it, etc) are going to outweigh what it's going to cost and the work involved in acquiring (building/developing) it.

I think that there's also an element of this analysis when considering taking on a submissive. Absolutely, there's chemistry and feelings and such involved, BUT you also have to look at the practicalities, i.e. what does this person have to offer that will make it worth me investing time and effort into trying to "tame" them? There needs to be some fairly compelling evidence that underneath, there's something wonderful and rewarding to be brought out.

And that, in my opinion, is the sub's responsibility to display.

There's also definately a way to be opinionated and still be respectful as opposed to belligerant. It's not difficult to learn the difference.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 5/7/2006 4:38:54 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 5:02:49 PM

RapturesDaddy

Posts: 25
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

I find myself stuggling sometimes with mine. She is not "wild" but she is strong willed and a challenge, espically for someone such as myself. This does however, elevate the intensity of our relationship. I often struggle within myself on how to approach her. Or should I say how I would LIKE to approach her. The fact is I still do not know as much as I would like about her. And some of the techniques that I am interested in using, and employing with her, may end up offing her or worse.

The last thing I would ever want to do is break her spirit.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 5:05:10 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

it has been said that a wild sub cannot be tamed because they are not a sub at all. besides myself, are there other subs out there that people view as untameable?

It just takes a combination of things; the right person, the right time, and the right approach.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: how do you tame a wild sub? - 5/7/2006 5:24:37 PM

rapture2778

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

hee hee cute, our posts are back to back!!

Anyway...i understand the frustation that you are feeling...the way i see it is this...i don't submit because i have to, i submit because i want to...
and perhaps those "Dom's" that are telling you that you aren't submissive (gah!! i know how frustrating that is) just don't have the mental "resources" that you need to submit to someone. It is more than easy to "dominate" physically, i think what you need/crave (just based on my own experiences) is someone who can dominate you mentally as well as physically!

(in reply to RapturesDaddy)

Profile

Post #: 20