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collarworthy -> RE: Mistress is worried (6/3/2006 12:58:27 PM)
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THE RESPONSE
Ive been avoiding this thread for the last couple weeks as I refuse to get caught up in the somewhat hysterical frenzy that has overtaken many of its readers since it was first posted. But as I've emptied my bedroom of lovers for now, and the next wave doesnt rush in for about an hour, I thought I should take a moment to respond. I'm allowed that much,surely, as I'm not even the one who started the thread.
From what I've been able to gather so far, half of you think Urantiams crazy, half of you think I'm crazy, and generally speaking, most of you feel we're BOTH crazy. Now, from nine to five I work in a technical business that requires me to think along lines I"m not always famliar with. So when I'm struggling to figure out what purpose a rocker panel has, or how to install a trailer brake for the first time, I tell my instructor: EXPLAIN IT TO ME AS THO I'M FIVE YEARS OLD. I will use that policy here, with this site, as many of you seem to be having problems understanding this thread and how it began. So........
THE BEGINNING I like rough sex. Always have and probably always will. Things dont even start to heat up for me until the cuffs are out. And if I'm not called a whore at least twice before being tied to the bedpost with a set of nipple clamps on, then to me, thats not even a good first date.
This sexual mindset has made it necessary for me to seek out Dominant men. Lusty, agressive, delightfully kinky men. Men who have no problem taking control of the reins and using me like the whore I am in the bedroom, leaving me whimpering like a wounded kitten and paralyzed with emotion.
However, once the sex is over? Once the clothes are back on and the coffee is being poured? Then I turn in to Me. The submissive kitten disappears and in its place is left an independant, demanding, outspoken, honest-even-when-it-kills-me woman, who at the end of copulation, would really just prefer he leave now. I mean, we've already accomplished what I was seeking; is there something more?
My T.V. suddenly becums my best friend, and if he dares to speak during Survivor, well, he will have to get out immediately. At that point, a Doms presence isn't even required in the same room. All I want is to lay back, relax, soak in the afterglow, and relive the memory..........several times. During sex, he was my fantasy and he OWNED me; after sex, back off, or my next fantasy might be beating him in the head with a torque wrench.
Now, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that this kind of attitude doesnt go over well with even your average male, let alone a whip-wielding, mask-wearing, card-carrying, honest to the bottom of his torture chamber Dom. And since I've never been attracted to submissive men, I was certain I would be alone forever. And then.....
ENTER URANTIAM
When Urantiam first wrote me, I was listed as a sub. Since my needs were mostly physical, it only made sense for me to list myself that way. I reminded him that as he was also a sub, that I could never dominate him the BDSM sense, so we had nothing in common, and I wrote him off. I went weeks without responding to his messages.
But then one day, I had some time to kill between a fleet of sailors and the Chippendale dancers, so I wrote him back, and I found myself immersed in a conversation I had never had before. It was the first time in months I had spoken to a man online that didnt order me to have my clit pierced or learn to function as his human toilet. I was able to tell Urantiam everything. Suddenly, I could express my personality in truth, without being told to go stand in a corner or spank myself for being disrespectful.
He listened to me. Instead of barking out orders, he just listened. We talked like two human beings. Not like dom and sub or pet and mistress, but just like two normal people. We discussed our kinks and our fetishes; we agreed on the fact that neither of us approve of giving, or receiving, extreme pain, and how ridiculous we think it is that some people would subject themselves to drinking urine and being hung by their nipples in the name of pleasure.We talked about how we'd both been single for over 20 years, largely becuz of the fact that our sexual needs didnt function well with our non sexual needs. He didn't judge me for being the controlling, demanding woman I am outside of the bedroom. And I didn't judge him for wanting to serve a dominant woman in a domestic situation. Five weeks later, we still talk for hours on the phone every nite, and the more we talk, the more convinced I am that I never was, and never will be, your typical sub/slave.
Urantiam serves becuz its his need: my need to serve is centered soley between my legs. Once their open, I'll do anything I'm told to do; but once they're closed, its back to reality and I become the one in control. With this fact in mind, the next step was.......
THE RE-BIRTH
Once I accepted the fact that I was a dominant person, and that I truly enjoy being served, it wasn't such a far stretch to figure out that if I like being pleased by one sub, chances are I will love being pleased by more than one sub. So Urantiam and I discussed the subject of having a poly lifestyle. We had already agreed that we were the perfect match. His fantasy of serving a woman made it impossible for him to find a relationship in a normal vanilla sex world; and my post-sex controlling personality made it impossible for me to find anything OTHER than sex. So we decided, together, that if I could find one or two other subs who agreed with my idea of serving; subs who seek a lifetstyle where they would serve me as their queen, never be abused, but always know that my needs came first, then we would share our life. And at that point came......
THE THREAD!!!
Urantiam was concerned that his, or other subs presences, might make it difficult for me to find a dominant lover to please me in the bedroom. He posted the thread asking for advice on the subject. Of the 5000 people who read the thread, most of those who responded were quick to point out how mystified they were with my sudden transformation from sub to dom, and many had pretty firm opinions on how he and I ended up together, and the inevitable outcome. I would like to touch on a couple of those in closing.
First, to those who commented on how Urantiam has to move all the way to B.C. just to get laid, well, that doesnt say much for Quebec women, let alone Quebec hookers! I'm no math wizard, but I'm certain that for what its going to cost him to relocate, he could buy a whole bus load of prostitutes.And for an extra $20.00, they'd probably let him serve them dinner in bed, which is one of his fantasies.
And as for the query that perhaps I have some horribly sadistic plan in mind for him, sadly enuff for some of the readers, that is untrue also. And whats even sadder is that, if I weren't against torture, extreme pain, etc; if I had come on this site breathing fire about how I plan to casterate him or insert a pony tail in his ass or force him to let me crap in his mouth, none of this would even be an issue with you people. You would have just written us off as another typical Mistress / sub relationship. That, in itself, is what gives the world of BDSM a bad name.
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