RE: Why does a collar matter?

RE: Why does a collar matter? (Full Version)

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NorthernGent -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/8/2011 12:23:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati I mean the collar itself. Not the relationship. I think we'll all pretty much agree that the collar itself is just a symbol, and in itself doesn't really define the relationship. Just like a wedding ring isn't what makes you married. If someone walks out the door for work one morning without their wedding ring on, they aren't somehow NOT married for the day until they get it back on, right? So my question is, if we KNOW that we are still owned, or still own someone, even if the collar doesn't happen to currently be around the neck, why does having that collar even matter? (No, Im not trying to be snarky or annoying. Im just having one of those days where I think too much. Im just curious about everyone's opinion on this one) Perhaps a collar is another rule, another regulation, another statement of order. Now, some people appreciate that, they want everything in a neat box, plus order is bound up with organisation and control and some people receive energy through the more task and orderly orientated facets of life. A bit like some people need to arrive for appointments on time, always. It's not me, but to each their own.

DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 10:20:08 AM)
If the Dom is weak and insecure, he will want you to wear the collar...so that he will feel superior, and to "keep you in your place." If you have a meaningful, sincere relationship, then you don't have to wear one because your feelings for each other are true and sincere. Your feelings are in your heart and soul...entwined with HIS...not around your neck like a dog.

GreedyTop -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 10:29:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas If the Dom is weak and insecure, he will want you to wear the collar...so that he will feel superior, and to "keep you in your place." If you have a meaningful, sincere relationship, then you don't have to wear one because your feelings for each other are true and sincere. Your feelings are in your heart and soul...entwined with HIS...not around your neck like a dog. that may be true FOR YOU, but it isnt necessarily true for others. Please stop trying to fir EVERYONE into your box.

Kana -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 10:43:56 AM)
It matters if I say it does. End of story.

littlewonder -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 10:47:15 AM)
seriously? [8\|] yup, we're all just insecure because we wear collars and they want us to. I guess the same goes for wedding rings too in your mind? The billions of people wearing one must all be insecure...wow, that's a lot of people!

leadership527 -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 10:50:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas If the Dom is weak and insecure, he will want you to wear the collar...so that he will feel superior, and to "keep you in your place." Perhaps... or maybe is insecurity will express in other ways. But that is simply one possible reason out of bajillions why the sub might be required to wear the collar. It was certainly not my reasoning. Is it really true that the only motivations you can conceive of for a dominant are expressed from a position of weakness? If you have a meaningful, sincere relationship, then you don't have to wear one because your feelings for each other are true and sincere. Ah yes, the one true way. Here's a little newsflash for you. Carol has to wear one (or not) because it's what I command. Our feelings for each other have little to do with it. Your feelings are in your heart and soul...entwined with HIS...not around your neck like a dog. I think one of my favorite quotes about BDSM comes from Ironshrink who explained collars this way... Comparing a slave collar to a dog collar is like comparing a wedding dress to a horse blanket. One is a symbol of commitment; the other is a symbol of, well… horses, I guess.

lizi -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 1:00:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas If the Dom is weak and insecure, he will want you to wear the collar...so that he will feel superior, and to "keep you in your place." If you have a meaningful, sincere relationship, then you don't have to wear one because your feelings for each other are true and sincere. Your feelings are in your heart and soul...entwined with HIS...not around your neck like a dog. The above statement is such horse manure. Nice of you to devalue and walk all over what other posters on this thread have taken the time to express - which is that the collars they wear themselves or their property wears are a heartfelt and meaningful symbol to the parties involved. I personally could live without mine, but i certainly wouldn't talk down about something that has emotional weight to others. Why would you ever disparage something that is important to another person? Have you actually read the replies on this thread and other threads on the same subject? The people who use collars have responded by saying that the s type wears a collar because it is a positive symbol about commitment in their relationship. Not because the Dom/me is weak and insecure, not because they don't have true feelings for each other in their hearts and souls, not because anyone is being treated like a dog. I feel sorry for you that you really, truly, don't get it. I'm not a rabid pro-collar fanatic, but if people use them then I'm happy that they've found something that works to bring them closer together.

DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 3:10:37 PM)
I think that young, good-looking Dom men don't worry about putting a collar on their subs. Ugly old farts feel the need to show their ownership to feel dominant.

DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 3:13:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas If the Dom is weak and insecure, he will want you to wear the collar...so that he will feel superior, and to "keep you in your place." If you have a meaningful, sincere relationship, then you don't have to wear one because your feelings for each other are true and sincere. Your feelings are in your heart and soul...entwined with HIS...not around your neck like a dog. The above statement is such horse manure. Nice of you to devalue and walk all over what other posters on this thread have taken the time to express - which is that the collars they wear themselves or their property wears are a heartfelt and meaningful symbol to the parties involved. I personally could live without mine, but i certainly wouldn't talk down about something that has emotional weight to others. Why would you ever disparage something that is important to another person? Have you actually read the replies on this thread and other threads on the same subject? The people who use collars have responded by saying that the s type wears a collar because it is a positive symbol about commitment in their relationship. Not because the Dom/me is weak and insecure, not because they don't have true feelings for each other in their hearts and souls, not because anyone is being treated like a dog. I feel sorry for you that you really, truly, don't get it. I'm not a rabid pro-collar fanatic, but if people use them then I'm happy that they've found something that works to bring them closer together. You have an opinion and so do I. That doesn't make me wrong or you wrong...it is an opinion.

DarkSteven -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 3:15:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas I think that young, good-looking Dom men don't worry about putting a collar on their subs. Ugly old farts feel the need to show their ownership to feel dominant. Dammit, I must be two or three collars behind at least then. Similarly, I assume young men never feel the need to marry.

MaxsBoy -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 3:18:06 PM)
CoughtrollCough Yeah, I'm sure my extremely attractive and younger Alpha wants a collar on me because he's ok and unattractive. He's a few years away from 30 after all...gettin' up there in years! I can think of more than one older Dom here whom I would be waiting in line to be collared by, if I were not already Alpha's.

lizi -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 3:40:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas I think that young, good-looking Dom men don't worry about putting a collar on their subs. Ugly old farts feel the need to show their ownership to feel dominant. Hahahaha...oh my. Thank you so much for the hilarity tonight. That has got to be one of the silliest things I've ever read here. Oh boy.....

angelikaJ -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 4:19:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas I think that young, good-looking Dom men don't worry about putting a collar on their subs. Ugly old farts feel the need to show their ownership to feel dominant. Hahahaha...oh my. Thank you so much for the hilarity tonight. That has got to be one of the silliest things I've ever read here. Oh boy..... I have come to appreciate Kelli's very special brand of silliness and it's ability to delight me with it's unintentioned hilarity. A special bright spot... [:)]

Jeffff -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 5:09:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas You have an opinion and so do I. That doesn't make me wrong or you wrong...it is an opinion. I don't like obnoxious fat women in corsets. That of course, is just my opinion.

Kana -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/9/2011 8:36:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas I think that young, good-looking Dom men don't worry about putting a collar on their subs. Ugly old farts feel the need to show their ownership to feel dominant. And you know what young good looking men think or worry about...how?

MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Why does a collar matter? (4/11/2011 5:38:34 AM)
I don't see it as a symbol of weakness. It's a barbaric YAWP! It's my barbaric YAWP! THIS ONE IS MINE! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLFQYbjYsso A ring says approximately the same thing, but it's more of a whimper than a YAWP! I close my eyes and I don't see a sweaty toothed madman: I see a woman who will stay with me no matter what. I see loyalty, I see love, I see a woman who is willing to subsume herself into me and become the essence of desire, the epitome of perfection, I see... ...I open my eyes and see a slave girl and I am not disappointed. But then again, the collar is just a symbol. The American flag, the Christian cross, the Star of David, the Pentagram, the dove of peace. These are all symbols. All of them have meaning. A simple circle of leather or steel - or even nylon mesh around a woman's throat is also just a symbol. But the symobology is not from the person who placed that collar; it's from the person who allowed that collar to be placed. Everything I said before was sturm and drang: that last bit is the only important part.

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