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What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 11:31:20 AM   
knottyme4u


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/27/2010
Status: offline 		Hello,

I have been trying to connect up with other locals here in the Sacramento area. I am having the worst time figuring out what to write. I would like to hear what seems to work for other members.

Here is a sample of what I have written that is NOT working!!

"This is funny for me... this seems so cold and impersonal but I guess this is the only way I know how to meet someone with similar interests.
I read your profile and I would like to see if you are interested. If you are, I will write you about me and we can go from there."

Your feedback will be greatly appreciated.



Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 12:39:26 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		The problem with your note is that it is generic.  You could send that same note to dozens of people.  If you read the profile then you should have some information to use in your note.  Say that you read that they are interested in...say...gardening...and you are too.  Then talk about your own interest in gardening...or golf....or current events...or hiking...or mountain biking...or whatever the case may be. 

People are not stupid.  They know when you send a note you could have sent to dozens.  They know you really don't care to take the time or are too lazy to write to them personally. 

(in reply to knottyme4u)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 12:51:16 PM   
knottyme4u


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/27/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks Peppermint.

I like what you mentioned about being more specific to the profile of the person. You also focused on the "non community/sexual things" in your thoughts. Is that something to stay away from in the beginning?

I know this must sound so stupid and basic but I am looking for feedback because I am new to the whole online dating and communicating stuff.



(in reply to knottyme4u)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:26:51 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		On uR kneeZ BEyoThc!!! I iz yer Dominate.

That usually works for me.
YMMV


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I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:35:58 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

On uR kneeZ BEyoThc!!! I iz yer Dominate.

That usually works for me.
YMMV



that is not what you sent me ya dirty Troll lol

as has been said, make it personal. or funny. but pay attention to what the profile says.

good luck

needles

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:40:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Considering your location, you should have no end of things to contact folks about that you can determine by their profile.  Any particular interests that they have or groups that are in the area.  Do you spot any common interests on the profiles that aren't sex or kink related?  That's how to start a conversation, just like in the regular world.

The best advice that I give around here goes very much like this:  When you are contacting people, do it in the same way that you would if you were walking up to them and starting a conversation in person.  A few lines to say why you are writing and include a question to encourage conversation.  Women here get tons of generic email everyday, so say something specifically that was referenced in her profile.  That way, she knows that you read it and you aren't just picking random people to contact.

Great thread on the subject by Stephan.  Dominant Men How To Meet A Woman Here.  I'm beginning to think it should be required reading.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FukinTroll)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:45:28 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins


quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

On uR kneeZ BEyoThc!!! I iz yer Dominate.

That usually works for me.
YMMV



that is not what you sent me ya dirty Troll lol

as has been said, make it personal. or funny. but pay attention to what the profile says.

good luck

needles


Damn it... maybe it was some interesting quote from one of the greats...
was it...

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence - Oscar Wilde
Or...

A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
More likely...

Suck my dick - Ron Jeremy

Slurp~


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:48:02 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		YOU WILL SERVE OR YOU WILL DIE.

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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:50:33 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Your profile is really pretty generic.

It says nothing about what kind of person you are, what makes you tick.
It says nothing about what you are looking for in terms of the level of relationship or involvement.
It says nothing about what non-sexual qualities you value if you are seeking something beyond a play partner.

It is undefined.

What qualities make you light up inside.

What things move you.

How do you view D/s relationships.

When the man who became my Master first sent me a cmail, he asked me interesting questions about my profile text.
There was nothing in it about thinking we might be a good fit.
There was no kink discussion right away.

He just made it clear that he wished to know more about me.
it worked very well for him... and us.

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(in reply to knottyme4u)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:51:41 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		My girl getter mail goes like this:

Nice Tits!!!!  Bring 'em with ya.


You can quote me.  

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 2:54:44 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knottyme4u

Here is a sample of what I have written that is NOT working!!


Greetings,

One of the challenges you're going to encounter in this question is the different viewpoints and realization that there's no magic formula. What works well for one individual may be offensive to another. i advise you to be yourself and avoid adopting a persona that will be hard to maintain if it isn't authentic. You can elect to make it simple and indicate what you read (in their profile) that prompted you to write. i'm not one for reiterating anything about myself as i assume that most people are relatively literate and if he's inclined he'll do some reading as will i. Long winded introductions are not my cup of tea and i almost always tell them no.

Though i've only done this on three occasions, this is my process:

Opening line - greeting
Second line - pitch
Third line - closing

i see no reason to go any further. Short and sweet has its merits. :)

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to knottyme4u)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 3:51:11 PM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

My girl getter mail goes like this:

Nice Tits!!!!  Bring 'em with ya.



Checked my mail, nope, not there.

Damn Ron, that would've worked on me.

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 4:21:03 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins


quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

On uR kneeZ BEyoThc!!! I iz yer Dominate.

That usually works for me.
YMMV



that is not what you sent me ya dirty Troll lol

as has been said, make it personal. or funny. but pay attention to what the profile says.

good luck

needles


Damn it... maybe it was some interesting quote from one of the greats...
was it...

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence - Oscar Wilde
Or...

A witty saying proves nothing - Voltaire
More likely...

Suck my dick - Ron Jeremy

Slurp~



ron jeremy'esque is always good for a giggle

needles

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 4:22:29 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

ron jeremy'esque is always good for a giggle

needles


Oh just choke on... wait... you already got the pic... crap!
Slurp~


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 4:23:13 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		Talk about a mouthful. 

I amuse myself.


_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 5:06:37 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		I just block anyone that emails and has a generic or cut-and-paste speil, especially the one liners. And I block guys that don't say anything about themselves in their profile (but hey, they want to know ALL about me.. is that so they can tell me what they think I want to hear and to be able to manipulate me? lol) I want to know what the deal breakers are and also where we are compatible.

And guys I do respond to and have a real interest in, well, I test them in various ways (they never seem to catch on to that unless I tell them). So lying to me (in the first or 100th email) doesnt work very well... (duh) I guess that is what I consider generic first emails that could have been sent to 1000 other women,.. lies, guys will say they liked my profile (whether they did or not or even read it lol) but funny, they dont say WHY they liked it or what things we have in common. So I reply and ask what they liked about it.. that part is funny to me, cuz once I ask that question, they have to read my profile and find something to tell me they liked. lol

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 5:12:10 PM   
flcouple2009


Posts: 2784
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline 		U B My HO. 

you might be surprised how well that works, 

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 5:25:25 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knottyme4u

Thanks Peppermint.

You also focused on the "non community/sexual things" in your thoughts. Is that something to stay away from in the beginning?




To tell you quite frankly, I do not talk about my personal private life with someone who may, or may not be a horny net geek from online.  If we have other things in common, if we enjoy chatting with each other and later talking on the phone, then is the time to discuss kink.  However, this is my opinion only.  Others feel differently.  It all depends on what you are seeking.  If you are seeking some play times with no strings attached then you discuss kink.  If you are looking for a relationship, you start with the relationship then add kink. 

The first Dom I ever met and played with was into gardening, as I am.  Since we lived 300 miles from each other it was a few months before we met face to face.  We talked mostly about gardening as he was putting in a new garden at a brand new house.  We didn't hit it off as Dom and sub, but we are still good friends.  We visit him when we're in his area, he visits us.  We email nearly daily.  That is because we had something to share with each other besides kink.  We truly enjoy being friends.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 4/1/2011 5:52:37 PM >

(in reply to knottyme4u)
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RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/1/2011 6:11:53 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		And pace yourself, dont email everyone all on the same day cuz if you send too many out (dont ask me how many that is), your emails will come with a bright red spammer warning letting women know you are going nuts emailing anyone & everyone you can. That doesnt make women feel special, not really the right impression to make.

And check your in box regularly. Dont do like some guys and not come back for 5 days or longer. I mean, I have replied to guys only to see my email sitting in my sent folder.. unread for a week... What kind of interest in me does that show??? I dont like being forgotten about!
So can you guess what happens to those guys? well, they get blocked of course!


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What do you write the first time you email someone - 4/2/2011 3:36:15 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

And guys I do respond to and have a real interest in, well, I test them in various ways (they never seem to catch on to that unless I tell them). So lying to me (in the first or 100th email) doesnt work very well... (duh) I guess that is what I consider generic first emails that could have been sent to 1000 other women,.. lies, guys will say they liked my profile (whether they did or not or even read it lol) but funny, they dont say WHY they liked it or what things we have in common. So I reply and ask what they liked about it.. that part is funny to me, cuz once I ask that question, they have to read my profile and find something to tell me they liked. lol


I check time stamps.

1200 He says he likes my profile
1210 After seeing that he's not in Who's Viewing Me?, I write back and say what about it did you like?
1211 He views my profile for the first time
1212 FAIL

ANother fail is when guys say nothing about themselves in their profile but want to know all about me.

quote:

I just block anyone that emails and has a generic or cut-and-paste speil, especially the one liners. And I block guys that don't say anything about themselves in their profile (but hey, they want to know ALL about me.. is that so they can tell me what they think I want to hear and to be able to manipulate me? lol) I want to know what the deal breakers are and also where we are compatible.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 20
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