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strangedesire -> RE: Vampire or Werewolf? Cool Femdom or Hot Femdom? (4/2/2011 7:28:27 AM)
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I can definitely be cool and detached at times, predatory in an organized way. When I'm playing with my girl, the touch and pain and sex and sensation will often just overwhelm her: I am detached by contrast because I am alert, watching, acting and reacting without losing my head. My detachment, in this sense, becomes a kind of power. I control the scene because I control myself.
I do the animalistic thing too, the growling and teeth, the bloodlust. It's a different experience, but also very enjoyable.
quote:
femdoms are too 'Goddess-like' for that, while the men concerned are too 'low and contemptible'.
I think this is different than what SylvereApLeanan is talking about. (And I don't think that it necessarily has anything to do with vampire archetypes in general, which is where the two of you are butting heads.) The "Divine Bitch" shows up a lot in Femdom porn, and like most porn archetypes, I don't think she's particularly feminist or fair. The supposed femdom who only cares about money and "service" is manipulative; the woman who does sexy thing to men that she doesn't want to have sex with is by definition a toy for their lust. This is anti-feminist in that it portrays women as one-dimensional beings, without a full spectrum of human needs, desires, and fulfilling relationships with others.
"Werewolf" femdoms don't show up in porn nearly as often because:
a) It's much harder to fake that shit for a camera.
b) It doesn't interact well with the trappings and social signifier of femdom, like corsets, spike heels, and riding crops. This means that it's harder to tell at a glance who is in charge - and now that I think about it, probably makes it a lot harder to market.
c) Women with their own sexual desires are threatening to a subset of male porn consumers."Cold" femdoms are less threatening, because the only sexual things that they'll do to a man are things that get inside his head/wallet/whatever. She won't start demanding things that leave you cold, because then no one would enjoy the sex.
I think that many submissives seek "cold" femdoms because it's what they see in porn, and they want to live out their porn fantasies. I also suspect that it's much easier to "convert" a vanilla woman to someone who growls and bites and takes what she wants. Can you imagine getting into a relationship with a sexually open woman and telling her that she isn't supposed to like sex anymore, because that's what turns you on?
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