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RE: Acting up .... - 5/11/2006 10:44:45 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

*pout* i most certinaly hope that i am not subconscienely [pooey my spelling is foul today] trying to manipulate people. that would make me a poor slave indeed.

*sigh* oh confusion, how i loathe thee. even more, being the confuser.

(in reply to fastlane)

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Post #: 21

RE: Acting up .... - 5/12/2006 3:19:16 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

a few notes:

sorry for my apparently crappy terminology. . . Second, this isnt 'play' its not a funtime spanking that makes me smile. it is physically unpleasurable - and i am in the state of mind of punishment, not play.

also, its not like we have a set date for this punishment and do it regularly, its just that, it happens to crop up at weekly intervals. He has found that when i am not 'put in my place' to say, i am not as humble as i am when i am .... regularly. He has gone so far as to say, maybe i need it daily, but until august there is no time for that. sometimes when there is an actual infraction, i will recieve the cane more than once a week, but i try to avoid that, for obv reasons.

this is mos def not a tedious task to Him

maybe the acting up is just playful nature and He is just a strict master.

The terminology is not your fault or problem; it's a lifestyle problem. I never give floggings etc as a *punishment*, only as discipline or general enjoyment. When it's punishment, all physical activity is denied....

This is a little harder to explain but, yes, I fully understand that there's completely different headspace involved when a flogging is within a punishment dynamic rather than a play dynamic. Inflicting pain as punishment is a vanilla axiom but even many lifestylers don't recognise the significant difference when it's play.

But I wasn't implying that you enjoyed the actual punishment itself, rather that you enjoy having the routine in place. Good or bad pain wise, you have a virtually guaranteed weekly workout in place but I was questioning how good it was from a Dom perspective. Punishment is supposed to be a last resort corrective measure. I'd hate to think I'd need to punish my girl more than once or twice (preferably less) a year because it is an emotionally charged dynamic for both Dom and sub! Doing it weekly and without a specific reason defeats the corrective purpose. "Feeling dominated" physically with a weekly flogging sounds fine - but as a punishment just in case you slip??? It's teaching you to act up - your dom should know that!

I've questioned if your dom enjoys doing it because, frankly, many of us enjoy doing it more often - you girls have more curves than just a butt to work on...! lol Maybe three times in one week, maybe none in 3 weeks - depends on circumstances, motivation and mood. Spanking, flogging, caning etc is best when it's about mutual enjoyment but, from your posts, it sounds like you have to be a bad girl to get flogged ("punished")! Which keeps bringing me back to your dom.... Vanillas think pain is punishment and his motivation always seems to come out of exasperation from your behaviour. Doesn't he ever do it because it's *HIS* need to use you this way, for mutual enjoyment? And because you've been good anyway, not just punishment?

You're very young but you're trying hard, and that's always commendable. May I ask if he's relatively young, too? And stop beating yourself up in your posts; your open and candid manner is refreshing....

Focus.

(in reply to mixielicous)

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Post #: 22

RE: Acting up .... - 5/12/2006 5:50:32 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

routine, i can readily admit i may love. i remember when i was 18 i got dumped, b/c i was a fan of it. he hadn't been.

i dont get bent over the end of the bed regularly b/c i misbehave persay [some weeks i am angelic for the entireity] and i still get a caning . . lol. /shrug. it doesnt bother or upset me.

Yes, i am frequently spanked by hand just because He *feels* like it, b/c it puts a smile on His face [and *usually* mine]

i would categorize Him as young also, at a fresh 25.

(in reply to Focus50)

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Post #: 23

RE: Acting up .... - 5/12/2006 8:17:45 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Some people are never 'young' and some forever are.

I know my Master (usually) enjoys my playfulness and exhuberance in life. It is a nice contrast to his controlled and responsible nature.

But, here are a few tips; NEVER say;

1. Is that the best you can do?
2. But...I did that yesterday...
3. All the coool Dom's let their subs.
4. Who died and made you king?
5. You do it first!
6. You want to put WHAT, WHERE? FREEEEEAK!

There is a much longer list, but...I would definitely advise staying away from these...

(in reply to mixielicous)

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Post #: 24

RE: Acting up .... - 5/13/2006 5:13:06 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

Good advice from especially LA and Focus50.

It seems to me that you are using your master instead of obeying him.

You also say that you do not feel dominated and I hear that he is strict. Apparently strictness, therefore, does not make you feel dominated. That may be one reason why you are playing up.

Continual strictness also can be suffocating and boring. The second reason why you are playing up, may therefore be that you need to be stimulated and/or need a vacation from strictness.

This continual strictness and these severe punishments appear to be rather a sign of impotence than of dominance.

Your master might want to reconsider his mastery of his slave or sub. It may be wise of him to loosen the strings a bit and to take the initiative of play himself: he should start to tickle his slave/sub. He also should take more time to study his slave/sub and to get to know her mind and how to better control that mind. If he cannot... then he cannot; nor can strictness nor punishments.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

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Post #: 25