Can I handle the changes in my life?

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Can I handle the changes in my life? - 4/4/2011 5:22:18 PM

wannabeacdwife

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/28/2010
From: Washington, DC 20016 US
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I could use some personal direction in my own goal versus "task" vision. I admit to being somewhat confused about this point; but also am proud of having figured out much that would have (and has) stumped others in their pursuit of self fulfillment and the fulfillment of others. To wit, my trans or pan-gendered nature stopped perplexing me when I was three; I came from an extremely abusive family background but have managed to avoid self destructive tendencies such as alcohol or drug abuse, etc. and also to learn to a moderate degree that my nature is both feminine and submissive. Where I have trouble is the degree (or maybe a better word would be "type" of submissiveness that will empower me to be the best and most loving partner to a dominant man.

I know for example that humiliation, verbal or otherwise is not for me, personally; that idea doesn't make me feel humble, it makes me feel troubled. On the other hand, I love the idea of being instructed and guided to serve a man in any way that was mutually significant, from dressing purely to please him to showing my complete embracing of his ideals through obedience to his wishes; desire deeply to be a refuge for a strong minded partner in which he can receive a measure of satisfaction, pleasure and personal fulfillment. The more I am able to give of myself to him, the more "whole" I feel. This scenario has not happened fully in my life yet; several times some elements were in place and I recognize them for their beauty. If "the" dominant soul mate to my submissive heart-felt soul search is ever near me, I hope we recognize each other.

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RE: Can I handle the changes in my life? - 4/5/2011 12:18:19 AM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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Hello there,

It seems to me that you're well on your journey to figuring out what you want/need.

The only advice I can give is to carry on, you'll make mistakes (as we all do) and you'll have some wonderful new experiences - and both the mistakes and the wonderful experiences will tell you far more than I can!

Good luck.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to wannabeacdwife)

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RE: Can I handle the changes in my life? - 4/5/2011 2:00:46 AM

Selectivelight

Posts: 191
Joined: 9/30/2010
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Well, I don't have any deep, profound answers for you. Seems to me you're on the right track by taking the time to sit down and put some serious thought into what you want and where you're going. And you've obviously taken the time to try and figure out your own heart. If nothing else, keep that up.

As for the overall question, whether or not you can handle the changes in your life, the obvious answer is yes. You've already come this far, and it wasn't easy. I bet you had to fight for damn near every inch. If the things you've already had to deal with didn't break you, what could?

Have some confidence in yourself, and take the time to plan your steps. I think you'll be just fine.

(in reply to crazyml)

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RE: Can I handle the changes in my life? - 4/5/2011 2:08:26 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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fr

You sound like you have it together. If you use tasks to get to your goals and you'll be fine. Do you want to be able to cook a fine meal for your guy? Take some cooking classes, learn the best cookware for your style of cooking then apply what you learn. You can throw dinner parties to practice and have a great social time while you improve yourself. Or take up sewing or knitting and start making your own clothes or gifts for friends. Maybe you'd rather learn how to shoot or fish or learn yoga.. study philosophy. Whatever it is, you can constantly and consistantly find ways to improve you. Any of those things can improve your confidence even more so and confidence is pretty damn sexy no matter which side of the kneel you're on.

Really, though, I'm not worried about you. Trust your gut, use your head and follow your heart. You'll know him when you see him.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Selectivelight)

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RE: Can I handle the changes in my life? - 4/6/2011 8:30:35 PM

wannabeacdwife

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/28/2010
From: Washington, DC 20016 US
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Hello, I want to thank the very kind people who have taken the time to reply to my post. Each of you have given me some fine feedback and thought-provoking ideas. Really, I can't say how much it means to me. I wish you each the best in your journeys through life. Warmest Regards.

Lee

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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