ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Hello from CHICAGO! Tall, Black Dom (4/7/2011 6:20:15 AM)
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ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Hey there blacknwht - Good luck in your search. It's true there are women who want what you are offering. I wish you wisdom and patience and clarity. Let's face it - a number of long time posters on these boards are in this very situation... or have been. peace, sunshine This is true, cheating is rather common place, and people's reason for doing it vary as much as the people themselves. Many married people seem to be able to justify this behavior, for a while. But it does have an incredibly high price. I make no secret of my opinion about married cheaters. For the most part, they are not good relationship material. Are there exceptions? Surely. But I must point out that the inevitable deception necessary to pull this off effects everyone invovled, not merely the spouse being cheated on. The OP's wife and children must come first, no matter what the circumstances, which means he will never really enjoy the full range of the D/s relationship, and neither will his sub partner. About five years ago I counseled a married man who was cheating on his wife. Same situation, the wife was vanilla, and he did not feel that he was in a position to divorce her, due to his children. After a three hour conversation about what HE was getting out of these "secret" relationships, he told me he would think long and hard about our conversation. Six months later he had left his wife. A year later he met the sub of his dreams. Three years later, after his difficult divorce was final, they married. I do not know what, if any, influence I had on this chain of events, we never again talked in such full depth. I like to think I had some. I am now going to caution the OP to be true to his self. And that the best way to be true to his wife and children (which I am fairly sure he has) is to be true to himself. This may take some time, I imagine you are in a very difficult situation, but really, it is the only way in the long run.
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