Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Bath and candles


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Bath and candles Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:21:14 PM   
Lasttime2


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.

< Message edited by Lasttime2 -- 5/8/2006 1:24:54 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:24:21 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candeles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


I think romantic gestures are wonderful to keep any relationship sparking.

FYI - the new "in" thing for luxury hotels is to have "bath butlers" and "bath menus" that can be as simple as bubble bath, a candle, and a glass of wine to a rose petal path up to the tub, champagne, and a tray of canapes.   If you do a simple internet search on the terms above, you can find some really great suggestions.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:25:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No matter what you do, someone will tell you that you are wrong.  There are many dominants and submissives out there who will say that "serving" your submissive is wrong, that there are actions which doms should never do (like oral sex and pampering).

The point is- if you're the one deciding, then you're being the dominant.  Some subs have a HARD time accepting that sort of service which can actually be fun.

As long as it works for you, then go for it. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:29:24 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


Are they in the bath with You and her?
 
If not, then who cares.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:33:52 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


It makes you a caring dominant who cares for his girl. I think its a sweet gesture and a caring and romantic one to boot. Honestly, I think it makes you more of a gentlman and dominat, as it shows you value her and want to take care of her. I commend you. I wish more men were like you, dominant or vanilla.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:35:12 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


I don't see all that much difference between what you do and what I do when I craft a scene that so perfectly meshes with a submissive's fantasies that she's left, gasping and sweatcovered.

I've never seen any rule that says a dom can't make a submissive smile.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:35:32 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


Firstly you and you lone decide who you recognise as your peers....

Secondly, what happens between you and your girl in the bathroom/bedroom is between you two and fuck anyone who wants to tell you or treat you as being less than the Dominant you are.... It is going to sound brutal, but from a Gorean Master to a Dominant, with respect .. Stand Up Man and be a MAN.. Your own MAN! Your girl will love you all the more and have even greater respect for you as will I dare say others..


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:38:33 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		smiling.......goooooooooooo IB!!!!!

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:41:10 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Who cares what it has to do with dominance anyways?  Since when does that have to play a part in every damn thing we do in life?  

I draw baths for My lady all the time.  Lots of candles.  Incense.  Mood music.  Bubbles.  I even hop in with her.  I do not see that there is a big deal there.  There is nothing wrong in showing her that you love her and cherish her.  Think outside the BDSM box every once in a while.

Good for you for doing something nice for her, by the way.  She will cherish it, I assure you.

EDIT: I asked My wife about it.  she feels loved, cherished and wanted and respects Me for doing it, although she did say that sometimes she does not like it when I jump in because she loves sinking in the tub all by herself too.

Soo...  There you go.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 5/8/2006 1:50:52 PM >

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:43:21 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


I think if you do it because you want to do it and it gives you pleasure to do it and you do not feel any less her dominant when you do it, then you aren't less a dominant. The only other factor is how it affects her view of you...


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:45:06 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		From a submissive point of view as long as you are the one calling the shots then you are still the one in control. She did not order you to run her a bath did she? If my dom ordered me into the bath that he had ran for me... well I had just better get my behind in it! Even doing something that others percieve as "serving" is not necessarily serving if it pleases you to do it...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:46:13 PM   
Lasttime2


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline 		I have to say, what great responses. Thank you all!!!

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:48:25 PM   
mathiasdomm


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		I'm in agreement with the field here.  The happier she is, the happier you'll be.

-m

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 1:55:41 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Here is another comment from My wife:

"well i guess typical the sub should be doing such services.  But it's also a dom's job to make his sub or pet feel loved and secure and cherished.  By doing so the sub would typically feel a renewed sense of servitude and appreciation...in my mind i would see it as being pampered... in exchange for loyalty and devotion."

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:03:06 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Still trying to get over the visual of you "jumping in the tub"---<smiles>--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:14:12 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

If I want to draw a bath for my girl, complete with candles?. Does it make me less or more of a dominant? I have no problem with doing it. But, sometimes I feel my peers don't agree.


What's wrong with doing things for your partner.....Would giving her an orgasm be seen as making you less of a dominant?  I'd say that the only people who needs to care about any part of your relationship activities...is you and her.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:15:54 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Argh, excuse my terrible grammar...eeek

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:16:09 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Lasttime2, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I invite for consideration these thoughts of mine and shared by a few well knowns in the M/s lifestyle.
 
If you draw the water and bath, the candles and the total experience, it is the most enchanting and humble beauty, of a loving Master to bestow an honor as a "Servant" Master to their slave. 
 
I personally believe it elevates a Master more than most will admit.  My thoughts are this;  It comes from your heart.  What ever you create, is a humble manifestation of grace, class and spirituality.  It may become a ritual to which you create, a new chapter at that moment.  Perhaps the representation of this ceremony, is the power of healing a Master has, as to wash away the sorrows and burdens of a slave.  Perhaps it will be a means of sensual touches as to awaken the sensories once again.  Perhaps the meaning may be, that it is the exchange of powers as to share the love, emotions and spiritual realms.  Perhaps it is to symbolize the transition from free woman to slave.
 
Regardless, if you wish just to give a romantic bath and nothing more; to create a ritual/ceremony with meaning; there is nothing more beautiful than a Master's demonstration of love for his slave.
 
It is no less noble than a Master/Mistress that attends a ill, injured and or dying slave.
 
The whole post SIR--Rings so loudly-- Masters do care.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:18:28 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Dominance or if you prefer, Mastery is not just about exerting physical Domination, nor about Overt Mastering a girl/boy. It is the total package ~ Mind, Body and Soul. You need to be able to have all these in balance and then be able to use them as the situation needs…. In past years I have been known to absolutely pamper and spoil a girl or two.. Serve a gourmet candlelit dinner, drinks before a roaring log fire, draw a scented bath replete with candles and sensual relaxing music followed by a massage and a slow lovemaking lasting most of the night….. Seduction? Yes but more than that. I each case she was always mine for the taking, I just chose to take more than just her body. Instead of commanding her (remember she was not collared, yet would have obeyed anyway), I chose to use good old fashion magick. The same sort which most women instinctively use. It is just as powerful as any other form of Mastery or Dominance.   I leave you with three creeds or philosophies from three different areas of belief:

  Do unto others as you would have then do unto you!

  An it harm none, do what ye will!

  Do what ye will. For the Law is love. Love under will!

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Bath and candles - 5/8/2006 2:34:46 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Caring and nuturing your partner should never be considered less than dominant.  I know a man who is very dominant, his wife very submissive, however, they don't feel that they must express this every moment of their lives.  Each day, and I mean everyday, he bathes her, washes her hair and he dries her.  Why?  Because he loves her and loves taking care of her.  Dominance does not mean that you do not take care of your partner, you most certainly take care of her, in every way and in every facet.  And if it means that you feel you want to draw her a romantic candlelit bath, more power to you.  You're doing GREAT!

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Bath and candles Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109