quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

Also, in your relationship, can you walk? Can you freely, of your own choice and volition, leave your owner for any reason, and if so, what are the circumstances that would allow this?

"BEING owned hasn't been easy, but choosing it was a breeze."

(smiles) This makes a lot of sense to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Sorry aromanholiday, I forgot to answer your question.

Yes, I can ask to be uncollared/released and we have a *grace period* where I am still his and he is still responsible for me. After the specified length of time has passed, if I still want to go, then he will relinquish authority/control/ownership and the M/s is *dissolved*.

The *grace period* applies to us both. If he no longer wishes to own me, then he also must abide by it. It's there to give us both time to be absolutely certain that it is the right and best decision and to ensure that it isn't made when emotions are running high or during moments of undue stress/upset.

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I'm a slave by job description but I'm not by any soul description. It goes with the job I applied for, basically. The fact that I'm not internally driven to be a slave doesn't really make a lot of difference. All you need is to accept the job applied for with all the fantastic benefits and all the drawbacks. There's good days and bad.

You could say that I chose it for the upside, and to have that, I have to get on and accept the downside. You'll never hear me moaning about it/him/ the tough parts.

agirl
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Thank you porcelaine,

I would just say that because I'm not a submissive person, it's far easier for me to have the tack that I do. I don't have much else beyond whether or not I'm willing to do it, to cloud my view of it.

You're welcome.

my personal views on life and slavery is analogous to a coin of sorts. i don't believe opposites are bad, but often the very thing i need to import to balance myself in a healthy way. As the years have gone by i've found my motivations have shifted dramatically and are less driven by the things i wanted/desired to achieve on the kneel, but mainly derived from the other person. The passion and intensity haven't waned (where it matters most) but the 'me' so to speak is on a noticeable decline. i was concerned about this for a moment, but your comments were very helpful.

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl


You could say that I chose it for the upside, and to have that, I have to get on and accept the downside. You'll never hear me moaning about it/him/ the tough parts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

I have a submissive personality. I always have. I am still young, but as time goes on and since I've been on my ownfor a bit I have learned to care for myself and take control of my life completely and not have a dominant role in my life at all.

I still find myself wanting it though. Not that I want someone to dominant every aspect of my life. As I stated on my profile "I am looking for a supportive and guiding hand, not one that will always force me to my knees".

I've always preferred to follow and be the support in the background rather then be the leader. But sometimes I feel that I am weak because I am submissive and not one to jump up when someone needs to take control of a situation.

EDIT: On another note..those that are dominant, do you view submissives as being weak?

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Sorry aromanholiday, I forgot to answer your question.

Yes, I can ask to be uncollared/released and we have a *grace period* where I am still his and he is still responsible for me. After the specified length of time has passed, if I still want to go, then he will relinquish authority/control/ownership and the M/s is *dissolved*.

The *grace period* applies to us both. If he no longer wishes to own me, then he also must abide by it. It's there to give us both time to be absolutely certain that it is the right and best decision and to ensure that it isn't made when emotions are running high or during moments of undue stress/upset.

Hey, no problem. I'm just now back at this thread and so saw both replies. Thank you for being so frank about how you live and not being offended by my curiousity. You have an interesting and most unusual relationship. The grace period is such a smart idea. So many times people decide they can't hack something when they experience _temporary_ strong emotion, but then later deeply regret the decisions they made under the influence of that emotion. A grace period short-circuits that and also gives you time to decide if what you feel is real or just a mood due to circumstances.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I'm a slave by job description but I'm not by any soul description. It goes with the job I applied for, basically. The fact that I'm not internally driven to be a slave doesn't really make a lot of difference. All you need is to accept the job applied for with all the fantastic benefits and all the drawbacks. There's good days and bad.

You could say that I chose it for the upside, and to have that, I have to get on and accept the downside. You'll never hear me moaning about it/him/ the tough parts.

agirl
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Your "job with great benes" analogy makes a lot of sense, agirl. I've never been particularly career-focused, so my jobs have often been like that, too: great perks and yes, I'll certainly do the gruntwork when I have to in order to keep getting them, but my enthusiasm, soul, intensity, is just not in it. My only intensity, enthusiasm, soul in life happens to be slavery. It makes me laugh to know that someone treats this thing I'm so obessed with as "ho-hum, just a job to get through" just as I treat my own job that way. I think that's great. It also helps, if the truth be told, with my not taking myself too seriously.

If I may ask one more question? From what you say, this arrangement works well for both you and your "boss." But some "bosses" are strange. They want their employees to be careerists--married to their jobs, passionately in love with them and thinking of nothing else. Did your owner ever want you to have those attitudes of slavery, or did it not matter to him, as long as what he ordered got done?

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

A lot of this is hard to explain.

Oh, he's strange (grin) just not quite in that way. He could *want* that all he liked but it's not exactly something you can order up. He can *want* me to have any attitude of slavery he fancies.......but the bottom line is that he's got me.(and as great as that is, it has it's drawbacks....lol)

You simply can't *want* these things. I mean, you can WANT them.......but you just can't *get* them (Isn't that a bit like *wanting* all sorts of things from a Master?) You get what you have applied for.

On a more serious note.......No, he took on a non-submissive person that he knew extremely well over years. He knew that I applied myself with passion and dedication to any main interest.
He didn't ever have to care about how passionate I am about him, it's clear and evident that I AM, even when I hate him. Also, what he orders get's done , whether it's with a loving smile or a grimace. The end result is STILL a devoted girl who doesn't resent a moment of any of it.

He wants me to genuinely WANT to be here, no matter what sparks may fly at times. He wants me to respect him and to continue to do so.......this isn't something you can just say * do*. It's a totally two way thing. He's got to keep being someone I CAN and I have to keep being someone that does.

No, he got what he asked for, he got what he took on.........and I did too. Our attitude to M/s isn't based in any ideal, it's based on the person in front of us.

You just don't get *one size fits all* unless you're buying stuff you don't care that much about...:)

agirl