RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (Full Version)

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SylvereApLeanan -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 6:33:16 PM)

BBQ sauce works too.



hausboy -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 6:37:48 PM)

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



Phoenixpower -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 6:38:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

you can ask a female friend to give you one of her pads she is finished using whilst she is on her period and put that in your pants [8|][:D][:'(][&:]


Besides being a totally gross idea (althoug admittedly creative), it is also very unsanitary.



I agree...but that doesn't stop me from providing alternatives [:)] After all its for the OP to decide [:)]



twistedwillow -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 6:42:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.




OMG You have seen me pre\mid period? [:D]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 6:49:56 PM)

Y ay Hausboy!

And yeah, Aynne, lots of women use pads. I don't, but many do. Whatever works.

Pondering the D who would want this...and having memories of (TMI).



LadyBeckett -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 10:00:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



I laughed out loud as I read that.  Hilarious!  Ah, and very authentic "that time of the month".  hausboy that was the best advice yet! 



DarkSteven -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/10/2011 10:26:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



/Runs away from hausboy, skeered./

[sm=couch.gif]



sunshinemiss -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 12:49:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


lol..pads? Sorry Pheonix but I haven't heard of anyone using a pad since 7th grade. We used to call it "riding the cotton pony.' Gross.  



Come back to Korea you sassy wench...



SexyBossyBBW -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 1:46:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
Ah hell, you're a male....

Go buy some chicken livers.........sling em here and there on the bed.....voila!!!!!!
Don't forget to get some cheap ketchup on a pad, and wear it.

Oh, and upon further reading, WHAT HAUSBOY SAID, DEFINITELY.[sm=excuseme.gif] M



sunshinemiss -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 1:50:56 AM)

Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
twistedwillow
[sm=cute.gif]
for
try dipping your penis in non toxic red paint or something like that.



strangedesire -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 10:07:51 AM)

1) Ask her if she plans on using latex barriers. Anything with oil will degrade condoms and gloves, leading to unsafe (and extra-gross) sex. This goes for vaseline, crisco, and most petroleum products as well.

2) Remember that anything in your anal cavity will be absorbed into your body, generally faster than it would if you ate it. Half a bottle of champagne, for example, can give you alcohol poisoning. Screen carefully for toxins.

3) If she'll be penetrating you for the first time, there is a decent possibility that you'll develop some small tears in your anal cavity. (It happens - they generally heal up without any trouble.) This becomes much more likely if your mistress doesn't know what she's doing, which I'm guessing is the case, because I've never run into an experienced buttfucker who wanted more random crap in a person's ass before sex. So, don't put anything in your butt that would be dangerous if it got into a small cut or three.

4) Whatever you're using is going to mix with the lube she's using. This could have interesting effects, or might do nothing. I'd recommend finding out what kind of lube she prefers, and mixing it with the substance you choose to make sure it doesn't fizz or something weird.

5) If she doesn't plan on using lube, see #3 above, but SO much worse.

6) Regardless, the substance of your choice will be rubbing against your inner cavities with a lot of friction. Any little bits of grit will become agonizing. Try wanking with the stuff. If it hurts, it will hurt even more inside you. And remember, #1 still applies.

7) Any liquids will drip out of your butt while you walk. If you're not willing to wear a diaper under your clothes, this is going to have to happen immediately before playtime.

Personally, I would save my first anal experience for someone with some idea of what she's doing, but if you really want to experience anal with someone who thinks having you fill your anal cavity with unspecified red liquids, best of luck to you.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 10:15:28 AM)

This:


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

Stab yourself in the perineum. You'll be bleeding out of a hole in vaguely the right area, it'll be wonderfully realistic. If you want to go for the full affect, punch yourself repeatedly in the abdomen every few minutes to create period pains.

What's the worst that could happen eh? Hospitalised with internal bleeding and a horrible infection? Just pretend you got toxic shock from losing a tampon. Endless menstrual fun!



TY, CS, I am still laughing.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 10:18:59 AM)

And this too:


quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

oh I'm feeling faint.... yikes.  Really?  Here goes.

Okay.  Try this: (Coming directly from my experience)  This will come VERY Close to simulating periods I used to have:

1. Go to the store.  Buy a bag of salted potato chips, BBQ fritos, milano cookies, chocolate mallowmars (or other gooey chocolate cookies), peanut M&Ms, a pint of ice cream of your choice, a bag of those frozen mini-microwavable hamburgers, and either advil, extra-strength tylenol or midol. 

2.  Stand between the door of a car/truck and the door jam, and slam the car/truck door into your abdomen multiple times.  I've also heard that if you have someone kick you in the nuts several times, that will give a good simulation of the pain and nausea.

3. If your Dom gets within three feet of you or your groceries, scream out:  GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME OR MY FUCKING FOOD, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.  It also helps if you then start crying for no apparent reason, however you should blame your Dom for that too because everything should be his fault for the next 5 to 7 days.

that's probably as real as it gets. 

you're welcome.



OMG, I did not expect this thread to be so fun.



Aynne88 -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 10:19:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88


lol..pads? Sorry Pheonix but I haven't heard of anyone using a pad since 7th grade. We used to call it "riding the cotton pony.' Gross.  



Come back to Korea you sassy wench...



On yon ha say oh. Pojee. ;-) In my best phonetic translation. Mwah!! I fucking miss you [:)].



ResidentSadist -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 12:08:38 PM)

Stab yourself in the ass so you bleed.

Just sayin'



Focus50 -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 2:28:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: amy19808

Hello.
For my next session, I have been told that I will loose my anal virginity, and I need to be on my "period." I asked a followup, on what I should do to be on my period, and I was told to get creative. Any advise?

I should add that I am a male, and I have to pretend that I am on my period for my mistress.


Think I'm starting to "get" voyeurism....

And that male subs seem to come up with the scariesi/creepiest scenarios. Or is it the dommes?

Assuming it exists, I think dodging the submissive gene literally does equate to dodging a bullet - phew! lmao

Focus.



Missokyst -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 2:56:20 PM)

I can't believe no one has thought of xlax, or other over the counter meds for constipation. If you want cramps.. viola~ You will definitely feel discomfort as you try to hold in the urge.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 3:06:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: amy19808

Hello.
For my next session, I have been told that I will loose my anal virginity, and I need to be on my "period." I asked a followup, on what I should do to be on my period, and I was told to get creative. Any advise?

I should add that I am a male, and I have to pretend that I am on my period for my mistress.


Think I'm starting to "get" voyeurism....

And that male subs seem to come up with the scariesi/creepiest scenarios. Or is it the dommes?

Assuming it exists, I think dodging the submissive gene literally does equate to dodging a bullet - phew! lmao

Focus.


I assume the Domme in question is into the female supremacy bullcrap.

But then, aren't you (as a Gorean) into the male supremacy bullcrap?

edited to add a phrase so that it makes more sense (I think)



TheShrew -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 3:30:36 PM)

NON-TOXIC, POSSIBLY IRRITATING TO MUCUS MEMBRANES, DEFINITELY STICKY
Fake Blood Recipe #1 - Cherry Flavor
  • can of cherry pie filling
  • 8 ounces cream (softened) cheese
  • water
  1. Use a fork or spoon to remove the cherries from the pie filling.
  2. Mix together the pie filling gel with the cream cheese.
  3. Stir in a little water to achieve the desired consistency.
Fake Blood Recipe #2 - Strawberry Flavor
  • packet of stawberry glaze
  • 8 ounces cream cheese (softened)
  • red and blue food coloring
  1. Mix together the strawberry glaze and the cream cheese.
  2. Add a drop of red and a smaller amount of blue food coloring to achieve the desired color.
Fake Blood Recipe #3 - Sweetened, Unflavored
  • 1/2 cup white corn syrup
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 1/8 to 1/4 cup water
  • 15 drops red food coloring
  • 1-5 drops blue food coloring
  • In a bowl, mix together the corn syrup and the corn starch.
  • Add water until the mixture is the consistency of blood.
  • Mix in food coloring until you achieve the color of blood that you want.
    POSSIBLY IRRITATING TO MUCUS MEMBRANES, DEFINITELY STICKY.
    Fake Blood Recipe #4
    1/8 cup Corn Syrup
    1 T Strawberry Jam
    Red food coloring to preference.
    Mix .. poof and voila.

    I'm not trying to be snarky but I located the above offerings at a blazing speed of (0.19 seconds). You're on a computer, on the internet... maybe you could just Google "recipe +fake blood"



    • sunshinemiss -> RE: I am ordered to be on my period for next session-how do I get creative? (4/11/2011 6:27:05 PM)


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Focus50

    Think I'm starting to "get" voyeurism....

    And that male subs seem to come up with the scariesi/creepiest scenarios. Or is it the dommes?

    Assuming it exists, I think dodging the submissive gene literally does equate to dodging a bullet - phew! lmao

    Focus.[/font][/size][/color]


    I assume the Domme in question is into the female supremacy bullcrap.

    But then, aren't you (as a Gorean) into the male supremacy bullcrap?

    edited to add a phrase so that it makes more sense (I think)



    I'm not sure where you got this, Chatte, but I've never seen him post anything remotely Gorean, nor does he have it in his profile, nor has he ever posted on the Gorean forums. I did a search with the word "Gorean" and "Gor" and there were no posts by him. Where did you get the idea that Focus is Gorean?



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