to spank or not to spank? (Full Version)

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need2beloved002 -> to spank or not to spank? (5/8/2006 11:09:31 PM)

This is my first time so please forgive me if i mess it up somehow.ok here it is;  are there any Masters out there that deprive their subs/slaves discipline and/or punishment (espesially corpral) tasks or direction because their sub/slaves either want it  or need it  therefor turning the punishment into a reward? what about masochist  subs that need discipline and punishment as it's their only means to rid theirselves of  the guilt they carry around?  will a sub/slave feel whole and be able to continue happily serving a Master if that need to submit and serve and obey , is taken away?  would he/she be left feeling empty or is this an effective way to manage ones property? 



Clothespingirl -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/8/2006 11:23:14 PM)

Hey,  I'll weigh in from the sub side, before all the kinky B.F. Skinners wake up!

Yeah, you'll hear lots of folks talking about "not rewarding bad behavior", which is fine if both parties think like that. 

For those of us with a punishment kink, it's different.  It isn't necessarily masochism or guilt, we're just weirdwired that way.  A lot of folks just become more cheerful, submissive, and obedient with physical punishment.  So the rat-in-the-maze thinking is counterproductive for them.

You'll find many folks who are wired this way in the spanko, spankophile, and domestic discipline groups.



BitaTruble -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/9/2006 12:17:06 AM)

S/m activities are not punishments in the house. They just are whenever Himself feels like engaging in it.. or, sometimes when I ask for pain, he will oblige the request. Punishment is a whole different thing for us. First, for me to be punished is a very rare occurance. I'm here to make things easier for him, not more difficult, so I do my best to serve him as he requires. We both enjoy the service I provide to him and that is our main relationship. When it happens that he does punish me, the punishment fits whatever action I've taken or not taken to warrant it. I appreciate him doing so because it teaches me the lessons I need to be able to improve my service to him. I used to really beat myself up for what I viewed as failure, but as it's so rare these days, I've learned that it's an opportunity to improve for him and no longer beat on myself for the rare occurances.

Celeste



Focus50 -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/9/2006 3:17:04 AM)

Hi and welcome.... [:)]
 
To me, there's an important distinction between physical discipline and physical punishment.  The discipline is what we do; it's a common way of expressing intimacy in a D/s relationship.  So when I get out the ropes, whips and spanking frames etc, it's because I want to share something special with my treasured and obedient girl....  Of course I often tease and torment her with her own lust and hunger (Sadist here) but not deprive because it's either a reward for her or simply because I'm in the mood to use her in some way.
 
But it's a very different dynamic when it's punishment....  To punish means she's done something to displease me beyond what can be adjusted with some corrective discipline.  IE, her actions have made me angry and there'll absolutely be no form of physical interaction while I'm angry.  I need time to cool down and she usually spends that time sitting in a corner.  It's common sense, too - I'm a big, strong man and I'd never use any form of physical force on her while I'm angry; save to
frog-march her to that corner.  This temporary deprivation of attention in general is the punishment and I hate it as much as her.  Fortunately (?), punishment is something that happens maybe once or twice a year whereas discipline can be virtually any other time....
 
Everything has a middle ground and while I prefer a sub with a touch of mischief about her, I don't appreciate her acting up just to get attention, either!  She can ask for bondage or a flogging etc virtually any convenient time and, depending on my own mood, will probably get it if she's been a good girl.  Or if that's too formal sometimes, familiarity usually ensures she knows how far she can push to get the right fire burning in me, too!  I don't mind that - tis the price of allowing some mischief and things are often happier when she can initiate informally, too.
 
I don't know if all or most Doms emphasise the huge difference between punishment and discipline that I do but it's also true that the lifestyle does sometimes get confusing when we introduce vanilla descriptive terms.  I love administering corporal "punishment" but I *NEVER* do it as a *punishment*!
 
Focus.



VikingHouse -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/9/2006 7:20:24 PM)

I seem to be hearing that you're seeking a catharsis for past transgressions against societys 'norm' instead of some punishment or discipline for an infraction. Since, I'm knee deep in needy bulldogs at the moment, I'll shut My trap, but first, I'd like to inquire as to what a BF.Skinner might be.
Gentry



LaMalinche -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/10/2006 6:16:30 PM)

I have been bad. . . I am off to go sit in my Skinner Box

Best,

LaMalinche


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burrhus_Frederic_Skinner




wolffeathers -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/10/2006 6:52:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Hi and welcome.... [:)]
 
To me, there's an important distinction between physical discipline and physical punishment. 
Focus.


Agreed.  Me and bina feel that way.  There is a huge differnce between spanking/whipping for pleasure, and the same for punishment.

Part of it is the fact she KNOWS that she is being punished.

Now, is it pleasing for me?  Well, hell yes!



temptressofsouls -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/10/2006 10:10:03 PM)

Usually spanking is a reward for me, not a punishment. However, I was one spanked as punishment with a belt, and it hurt quite a lot. My ass definately understood I was being punished that day.



CanadianGuy -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 1:24:55 AM)

Sometimes my girl does things that annoy me or go against a minor rule, to get punishment or attention.  I see this as manipulation, which is actually a form of taking away my control.  I definitely don't respond the way she hopes, and that upsets her.  But I'll be damned if she'll get control from my via manipulating me that way.



LaMalinche -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 2:53:15 AM)

Oh. . . I hate passive-aggressive behavior.

Best,

LaMalinche

BTW - how do you respond?




MsMacComb -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 3:17:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: need2beloved002

This is my first time so please forgive me if i mess it up somehow.ok here it is;  are there any Masters out there that deprive their subs/slaves discipline and/or punishment (espesially corpral) tasks or direction because their sub/slaves either want it  or need it  therefor turning the punishment into a reward? what about masochist  subs that need discipline and punishment as it's their only means to rid theirselves of  the guilt they carry around?  will a sub/slave feel whole and be able to continue happily serving a Master if that need to submit and serve and obey , is taken away?  would he/she be left feeling empty or is this an effective way to manage ones property? 
 

What if the spanking went right to the limit that would be considered a reward by the sub, and then one slight step beyond to make it discipline?



SweetEscravo -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 9:40:12 AM)

For a serious, real problem, I've always found that a strict talk or a simple "I'm disapointed in you" does far more than a spanking.  Maybe if the submissive truly HATES spankings then give him or her one, but I don't think it is really too effective if it is enjoyed.



fastlane -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 10:50:52 AM)

Hell, I thought everyone here enjoyed spankings? How can you call a spanking punishment? A spanking is nothing more than a Master coloring his canvas a delicate shade of red, in my opinion.
However, I will admit, if one overdoes it and the color purple begins to appear it's time to take your ass to the bubble bath and call it a night. I still would not call it punishment though.
Fastlane pushes his slave's head under the water....now, this I call punishment[:)]
Kevin



mnottertail -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 11:39:20 AM)

To spank; or not to spank...

Why is that the question?

Thespianatically,
Ron Hamletandeggs



caitlyn -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 2:46:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy
Sometimes my girl does things that annoy me or go against a minor rule, to get punishment or attention.  I see this as manipulation, which is actually a form of taking away my control.  I definitely don't respond the way she hopes, and that upsets her.  But I'll be damned if she'll get control from my via manipulating me that way.


Maybe she just needs some attention.
 
It seem to me that you are inventing manipulation out of thin air, for whatever motivation can be attributed to such thing.



HouseofBear -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 5:17:49 PM)

We do not use "corporal punishment" as a punishment.  We prefer talking with the slave/sub and attempting to determine what is causing the misbehavior.  Usually knowing that we have been disappointed is enough to cause a change in the behavior.  If that does not work, then we may utilize corner time or some other punishment that fits the misdeed.  Yes, some subs may look for a relationship where they are literally punished in a corporal manner.  It is just not our preference, and in that case they are not a match for us.  To each their own, and that is why you communicate openly when negotiating a relationship at the start.



tade -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 5:41:38 PM)

We would usually find some reason to punish our girl while spanking her. There is always that one toy that she really didn't like that we could find some reason to use. But that was just for fun. Actual punishment was a rare thing and would mostly be the she doesn't get to cum tonight because she was late getting home kind of thing. If there are major things that need a punishment, there are larger problems (A thought clearly stated in the posts above, just throwing in our 2 pennies).



CERCKL -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/11/2006 5:59:39 PM)

quote:

I'd like to inquire as to what a BF.Skinner might be.


Early researcher in behavioral modification; reward, punishment...nature vs nurture arena...

C



xxmstrchasxx -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/15/2006 10:47:35 PM)

Clothespingirl,

I know a lady that you look like when she was younger that I had to read your profile to make sure it wasn't her and I've known her for over 40 years.

They say everyone has a twin somewhere and I sure know where yours is. :)

btw, your questions and answers in your profile are hilarious when they ask you where you want the clothes pin.



shyone333 -> RE: to spank or not to spank? (5/16/2006 11:40:31 AM)

Its a frame of mind thing. I tend to run in the spanko circles and basically the way it normally works is when you are being punished you know you are being punished. I know many people (including myself) that can take a long hard spanking in play and never even flinch, but the same person 1 minute into a punishment spanking will burst into tears from half the strength because of their frame of mind and repentance.

But....thats just my opinion



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