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Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/18/2011 4:34:08 PM

OralAshley

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/18/2011
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Hi, I'm a 30 year old guy from Rochester New York. I have always felt like a teenage girl on the inside, but was always scared to explore this side of myself.
I used to enjoy sleeping over at friends' houses as a kid and pretending to be asleep as their sisters would put makeup on me and try putting clothes on me. After some clever suggestion I might add.

Because of this perversion, I believe, and also just from being not so good with women, I have remained a virgin all my life. I think I am a good enough looking guy, so I have been told, but anxiety has kept me at a distance.

So now I am ready to find myself. So I can be happy.
I have always seen myself as a young girl being forced into situations from big strong guys. As a man, I don't care for the company of men, I love women. But in my Ashley persona, I like boys and girls. Something about me being a demure young girl being taken by a no nonsence, strong man, or even dominant woman, is such a turn on.

This fantasy has manifested itself in my mind and turned into much more. Now, as a girl, I want it rough. To be degraded and teased. Probably due to my shame of the situation.

I dont own any girly things right now and cant tell anyone I know. So this is my decision. To try and see what could happen here.

So if you are dominant, and looking for some fun, and would like to push me beyond my limits and see what can happen. Please leave me a message. Thanks

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/19/2011 1:34:52 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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Welcome to CM and the boards. Read some older and newer threads, use the search feature, don't be afraid to participate. You'll also find some great people on this side.

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/19/2011 2:52:16 PM

ashjor911

Posts: 7793
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From: balcony, having a Smoke
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Welcome To CM

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/19/2011 9:31:42 PM

OralAshley

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/18/2011
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Thanks. I hope I find what I'm looking for here, but there doesnt seem to be many people with my interests in my area. Oh well

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/19/2011 10:00:56 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OralAshley

Thanks. I hope I find what I'm looking for here, but there doesnt seem to be many people with my interests in my area. Oh well

It's not that there is no one who might do that with you. However, there are a couple problems you'll have to work through.

First....it's hard to force someone to do something they really want to do. If you will go to the Ask A Mistress forum the first thread is an FAQ for submissives to read first. It explains all about forcing.

Second....a Dominant wants to be in charge and do activities he/she enjoys. You have just told the Dominant what he/she is supposed to do for you, because that's what you want. It seems that you are not seeing the Dominant as a person but merely someone to satisfy your own fantasy. Most Dominants will not be a free fetish delivery system.

You would best be served by attending a local munch. There you would meet some people, realize that they are human with their own wants and desires. You might even find a special Dominant friend who just might indulge your fantasy. To find your local munch, look at the Frequently Asked Questions thread in the Intruduce Yourself area.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 4/19/2011 10:02:29 PM >

(in reply to OralAshley)

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/19/2011 10:10:30 PM

OralAshley

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Joined: 4/18/2011
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oh. im sorry. i didnt mean to offend or tell people that only my desires count. i just wrote what i enjoy. of coarse im willing to do the things my dom/domme wants to do.

i will read the posts and learn more. this whole thing is pretty new to me so i dont know much about it.
thanks for your help!

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/19/2011 11:12:00 PM

peppermint

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Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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You did not offend. If you read those things I asked you to read you might have a better understanding.

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 5:26:16 AM

OohAahMrs

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Welcome Ash.

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 6:05:21 PM

OralAshley

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/18/2011
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Thanks, I like it here so far!

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 7:24:35 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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Welcome to CM & best of luck you dirty little tramp!

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 7:30:33 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
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quote:

You'll also find some great people on this side.

and then you'll meet me...

welcome ash!

hannah lynn

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 7:46:23 PM

OralAshley

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Joined: 4/18/2011
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thanks for the welcome. wow Hanna, your kinda a big turn on! haha

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 8:41:32 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
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Hello Ashley,

So did you know that there are more than 1,800 kinksters in Rochester, including the Rochester Kink Society that has a bunch of folks in it! They hold monthly open houses, and seem to be having an Arabian party on May 14th...so lots of folks! There is also the Upstate Kink Society, that is having a munch in Utica on May 6th from 7-10 p.m. If you go to Fetlife.com, you can find all this and more by doing a search for Rochester, New York.

So yea, you have some girlie desires and that can be fun and good. It will likely be best that you find your way to embracing those parts of you yourself rather than hoping for someone to come along and take charge of it for you - if you think about it logically, you will see that it is really not something that people would do as it is so complex and there are possibilities of untold landmines and hassles...not to mention the fact that it is totally focused on you, and Dominant folk generally are going to want the dynamic focused on them. If however, you are embracing that part of yourself, and making it a fun and interesting of who you are as a whole and well rounded person, then people will be more likely to engage with you. Just like in vanilla life, you go from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends, and on from there. Contrary to popular belief, being kinky does not make people loose, nor easy, nor unwise.

So I wish you luck! Get out into your community there in Rochester! That is your very best chance of getting what you want! Think a lot about it and be as prepared as you can to be fun, engaging, drama free, and -there-. Ask lots of questions, don't be a douche, and have fun!

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RE: Looking to explore a certain side of myself. - 4/20/2011 10:08:16 PM

OralAshley

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/18/2011
Status: offline

Hi Otter,

wow, thanks for all the info.i think i will check that out. what is an Arabian party? is it something where i would get to be a harem girl for many master's pleasure? hahah, i doubt it, but it sounds kinda exciting.

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Post #: 14