How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (Full Version)

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salemartist -> How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:04:02 PM)

First let me say I have been doing this for years and the peanut butter sandwich community recognises me as a Master. Anyone not making their peanut butter sandwiches this way is certainly doing it wrong. There is only one proper way and its my way:

First the bread must be white bread, Preferably Wonder brand, slightly toasted.

Jelly must be strawberry, and applied very thin to one slice of bread.

next rinse the knife, for Gods sake, we cant be too careful in this day and age, dipping your knife in peanut butter while it still has jelly on it can lead to complications, a good anti-bacterial is recommended.

next youll want to plunge the knife into the peanut butter and twist it to make a 'scoop' about the size of a golf ball or a bit larger, spread the peanut butter or PB across the center of the bread, evenly, then while using caution spread the PB top to bottom, as evenly as possible across the entire slice.

press the two slices of bread firmly together, and cut down the center, do not trim the crust or cut diagnally.

Making a PB&J is serious business and should not be done by an ametuer without the proper training, I know this because I am a Master.

You may call me Sir Skippy



Asherscorp1 -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:06:47 PM)

The whiter the bread the faster you're dead. How have you addressed this health concern? I don't want to kill my Master with "toxic waste" packaged as food. Sir Skippy, is there any healthier bread that can be used acceptably?



tazzygirl -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:08:00 PM)

Toasted? Ewwww



salemartist -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:10:09 PM)

ahh yes, when healthier choices are desired, an oatmeal or multigrain bread is a good substitution, never wheat!



playfulotter -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:25:04 PM)

I like my PB & J sandwiches with a good whole grain bread but as a child I liked white bread the best but not anymore...I also love raspberry preserves with seeds  as my "jelly" and a good balance between the amount of peanut butter and jam...a golf ball size bit seems like too much for my tastes but everyone likes something different.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:43:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

Jelly...applied very thin

the peanut butter... a 'scoop' about the size of a golf ball or a bit larger

You have this the wrong way round. There should be shedloads of jam and not that much peanut butter.

You Americans are heathens.

That is all I have to say on this matter.

[8D]



DesFIP -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:47:51 PM)

Peanut butter, hard limit!

And in this house, those who do eat it, do so with homemade apple butter.



LadyPact -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:50:25 PM)

LOL.  Jelly, hard limit.

(Haven't we discussed My sincere dislike of fruit?)



JstAnotherSub -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 3:50:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Peanut butter, hard limit!

And in this house, those who do eat it, do so with homemade apple butter.



Dang I miss homemade apple butter on raisin toast.

As to the OP, I agree on the strawberry jelly, but it and the peanut butter must be mixed together before going on the bread.

Same for peanut butter and honey. I do miss the white bread, but Arnolds and kroger both have a most awesome 12 grain bread that has all kinds of crunchies in it. It goes well with pbj or pbh.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 6:23:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

As to the OP, I agree on the strawberry jelly, but it and the peanut butter must be mixed together before going on the bread.

...??!??!?!

Who does that?! Who does that?!?

CM is a strange and wonderful place full of strange and wonderful people who do strange and wonderful things, but this just about takes the biscuit*.

*I wouldn't recommend consuming said biscuit. This is CM. You don't know what's been done to it.



salemartist -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 6:25:11 PM)

for those like LadyPact I can do a Fluffenutter, instead of jelly use Marshmallow Fluff



ResidentSadist -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 6:31:43 PM)

Dear Sir Skippy - Master of PBJ,
Your guidance is warmly received.  The flexibility you exhibit in allowing multigrain bread shows your wise and omnipotent nature as a Master of PBJ.  I am glad you are here to mentor us.  I've secretly been into PBJ since I was an adolescent child.  I remember it like it was yesterday, it all started with my aunt Legume. She introduced me to her style of PBJ but when I put it in my mouth, it just felt wrong . . . untoasted Wonder Bread bread and grape jelly just weren't my kink.  I felt cheap, dirty and unsatisfied afterward.  I never looked at my aunt the same way again. 

At great personal embarrassment, despite the incestuous implications, I confess that I liked it best when my mom gave me a PBJ.  She did it exactly the you described but she also put a light layer of Fleschmann's margarine on the hot bread and served it before it cooled.  I loved wrapping my lips around my mom's warm PBJ and taking it into my mouth.  Her PBJ was sweet, sticky, salty, warm and buttery all at once.  How could anything that felt so good be wrong?

One day I will master the art and put my warm PBJ in someone's mouth.  Until then, I look forward to your tutelage.  What brand names do you recommend?  My mom also used Smucker's, Jiffy and Monk's bread.

Gratefully,
Arachis Legume



JstAnotherSub -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 6:41:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

As to the OP, I agree on the strawberry jelly, but it and the peanut butter must be mixed together before going on the bread.

...??!??!?!

Who does that?! Who does that?!?

CM is a strange and wonderful place full of strange and wonderful people who do strange and wonderful things, but this just about takes the biscuit*.

*I wouldn't recommend consuming said biscuit. This is CM. You don't know what's been done to it.



I will admit i was a wee bit suspicious when commie friends first introduced me to the mixing of pb&j before going on the bread. But, tis heaven I tell ya!

Try it, you might like it.

For the biscuit I would suggest honey only though. If you let it sit a bit, it gets all crunchy and yummy....



hausboy -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:23:00 PM)

Thanks Sir Skippy--I'm a peanut butter and strawberry jam guy, personally, With the sandwich cut diagonally and served with sweet gherkins.

(I predict we are just two posts away from this being relocated to Polls & Random Stupidity or Off-Topic Discussion)



sunshinemiss -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:25:51 PM)

[:(]

... is a Jif girl...



dcnovice -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:34:30 PM)

It's a little hard to take seriously a PB&J thread that lacks any mention of crunchy vs. creamy.

My grandmother used to cut sandwiches into (rough) thirds. She felt halves were too big for little hands and quarters too teesny.


[image]local://upfiles/312801/504C863814F54C05961D46C160389D74.jpg[/image]



sunshinemiss -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:37:38 PM)

I figured my penchant for creamy was irrelevant with my preference for Jif.... more's the pity.



SubtleDifference -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:43:41 PM)

picture perfect PB&J

[image]local://upfiles/400983/8DEDCDBB1CA44DC58B6A5213D543D649.jpg[/image]



dcnovice -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:45:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I figured my penchant for creamy was irrelevant with my preference for Jif.... more's the pity.


Doesn't Jif make both kinds?



sunshinemiss -> RE: How to make a Peanut butter sandwich a.ka. PB&J (4/19/2011 7:48:19 PM)

Yes, but *sniff* this thread is only for the Skippy people.



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