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Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 2:38:06 PM

subbykat

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As a submissive or a slave, do you occasionally long to do things and go places that your Master doesn't approve of?

Do you ever long for the freedom of not having to ask someone's permission to do something?

Please share your thoughts...

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 3:21:09 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

As a submissive or a slave, do you occasionally long to do things and go places that your Master doesn't approve of?

Do you ever long for the freedom of not having to ask someone's permission to do something?

Please share your thoughts...

Not so much the first question, no. There's not much he wouldn't approve of that I'd fancy doing in any case. There's often things I'd do in a different WAY though.

Yep, abso-bloody-lutely. My thoughts?...With alarming regularity I want to kick off my shoes and do exactly what the hell I want to, as and when I want to, in exactly the way I want to.

However.....that doesn't quite fit in with asking someone ELSE to own me.....lol

agirl

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 3:30:48 PM

littlewonder

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there are times I want to do something that he doesn't allow altough to be be honest those are rare, few and far between. We're pretty on par on those types of things.

I never long to be free though. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't want this.

so I guess my answer is no.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 3:44:18 PM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

As a submissive or a slave, do you occasionally long to do things and go places that your Master doesn't approve of?

Do you ever long for the freedom of not having to ask someone's permission to do something?

Please share your thoughts...

Not so much the first question, no. There's not much he wouldn't approve of that I'd fancy doing in any case. There's often things I'd do in a different WAY though.

Yep, abso-bloody-lutely. My thoughts?...With alarming regularity I want to kick off my shoes and do exactly what the hell I want to, as and when I want to, in exactly the way I want to.

However.....that doesn't quite fit in with asking someone ELSE to own me.....lol

agirl

I hear ya agirl, especially about that part of just wanting to kick your shoes off and do what the hell you want, when you want and how you want it...I mean if you think about it...nobody really owns you.
It's just that we are bound by invisible barriers, which in the case of a slave are defined by the Master's will

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/21/2011 3:46:53 PM >

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 4:47:54 PM

Asherscorp1

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There are moments when I've had a long day and all I want is to make a snack, curl up on the couch and read. Instead I kneel at Master's feet (until I am sent to bed) and await His commands which usually include dinner, massage, fetching various items for Him while He sits in the lounger and reads. However, every time I get that, "I just want to relax!" feeling I stop and think of how I would feel if Master didn't expect me to serve Him. If He never demanded anything of me. Within a minute or two I am so grateful for the privelege of being His slave that I settle right into the usual routine even more enthusiastically. As for wanting to do things he doesn't approve of ... nope, never had that issue.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 5:02:33 PM

LadyPact

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I'm sure that he does. In certain fleeting moments, it would surprise Me if he never had a selfish want or desire.

Straight to the point, it's momentary. Wanting to be owned is so much more important to him.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 5:07:38 PM

Hisprettybaby

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

As a submissive or a slave, do you occasionally long to do things and go places that your Master doesn't approve of?

Do you ever long for the freedom of not having to ask someone's permission to do something?

Please share your thoughts...

I almost never long to do things that Daddy doesn't approve of. I say almost because every once in awhile...lol Well, it's nothing big. Just once in awhile, I long for a friend of mine to tie me up as I'm a rope fiend and Daddy's not very good at rope yet. But Daddy doesn't like this friend, so I don't "go there" with him.

I never long for the freedom to not have to ask Daddy's permission for anything he requires that for. Daddy is very good to me and really does give me a lot of leeway except for certain things. When I was trying to be a slave to this one micro-managing Master, yes I did sometimes long for freedom, and of course things did not work out with him. i was not cut out to be a slave and, above all, certainly not his slave. Now I am Daddy's submissive little girl and I'm very happy.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 5:23:53 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

As a woman, do you occasionally long to do things and go places that your man doesn't approve of?

Do you ever long for the freedom of not having to ask someone's permission to do something?

Please share your thoughts...

I changed your OP a bit above. How does that sound?

I'm not an idiot. Why would a man think I can't make a decent judgment call? Regarding leading, I believe it's best to have people BELIEVE in your plan rather than just make a decision and poof nothing more. This suggests actual discussion, reworking of things. I've been involved with people over the years who just made a decision and I was supposed to follow it. Yeah, that didn't work out very well. Also, we all have blind spots. I would hope my partner supported me in seeing reality where my blind spots are - not because he had to "tell me what to do" but to help me see more clearly and make a good decision. That's what partners do in my world.

There is some comfort in not being the one making decisions for my life. For me, though, that means I'm being a coward... or foolishly holding onto non-functioning ideas (like holding a temper tantrum) or living within a blind spot.

The whole - do as I say because I say it - thing doesn't work for me. I find it insulting and demeaning. And the few times I've done it, I found it broke my spirit. It's MY responsibility to maintain my emotional health.

Permission? No. I don't need permisssion to live, to work, to enjoy my life. However, in every relationship, there is give and take. If a partner of mine felt very strongly about something, I would respect them and their thoughts. I would hope I could trust their judgment! We would work it out and come to some agreement.

So, the short answer is I suppose "no" because I do not choose to be in the kind of dynamic that I find insults me and harms my self-esteem.

best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 4/21/2011 5:26:12 PM >

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 5:32:39 PM

DesFIP

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Oddly enough, the only things I can think of are food. There are many nights when if it were just me, dinner would be a scrambled egg. But instead I'm making a real meal.

And ice cream. Peach Pie Ice Cream. Apple Pie Ice Cream. And if it were possible to get just the pineapple ice cream in the banana split ice cream, I'd buy that. But he insists ice cream has chocolate in it.

Oh and controlling the remote. I only get it when he's not here.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 5:38:27 PM

subbykat

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Does your Master set any boundaries in terms of who you can hang out with and where you can go, if he's not in town?

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 5:56:55 PM

DesFIP

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No. But I'm 56 years old and not likely to do anything stupid anyway. Plus we have two teens in residence so I still have to be a responsible adult, sigh! And they insist on dinner also, but they'll eat an omelet or pancakes. The Man doesn't approve of breakfast for dinner.

He's much more into requiring me to do things than forbidding them. I'm not allowed to skip meals or stay up all night. And because I have no night vision, I have to be home by dark.

Oh yeah, no taking the trash down to the road in slippers and a nightgown anymore either.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 6:09:15 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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I'm with sunny, we do not have that type of dynamic. I'm an adult, there is no question of me being mature enough and devoted enough to make judgment calls he approves of.

Do I report on my day and what decisions I have made in his absence? Of course I do. But to me that is just part of being a couple with common money, goals, etc. It just so happens we have a certain dynamic, so we don't have to argue over trivialities. That really is how we see it.

I don't need permission to do squat (refer to above as to mature, devoted) . Since I do most of the purchasing, I make sure he agrees on that before I proceed. He trusts me enough so that if I am even considering something he may not approve of, I run it past him.

We function as a unit, b/c we are on the same side. Very important for any relationship.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 6:18:22 PM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I'm with sunny, we do not have that type of dynamic. I'm an adult, there is no question of me being mature enough and devoted enough to make judgment calls he approves of.

Do I report on my day and what decisions I have made in his absence? Of course I do. But to me that is just part of being a couple with common money, goals, etc. It just so happens we have a certain dynamic, so we don't have to argue over trivialities. That really is how we see it.

I don't need permission to do squat (refer to above as to mature, devoted) . Since I do most of the purchasing, I make sure he agrees on that before I proceed. He trusts me enough so that if I am even considering something he may not approve of, I run it past him.

We function as a unit, b/c we are on the same side. Very important for any relationship.

I don't NEED permission either per say...It's kind of like, if I want to do something like spend time with a friend that he doesn't approve of, or go to a party when he's not in town, I get second thoughts about it, because I know he wouldn't be happy about it.
And as a submissive, I wouldn't want to displease my Master. So I end up making an excuse and not going.
I just wonder sometimes if I'm missing out on something...

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/21/2011 6:19:19 PM >

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 6:39:03 PM

hejira92

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I may occasionally have fond thoughts back to when I was single and not responsible to anyone- when I could go out to any club, or talk to anyone online or something along those lines. But I could never act upon those kind of thoughts now. Not because I am afraid of His wrath, or dismissal, but because I am in a committed relationship with understood parameters. Yes, I would rather face physical punishment than think about disappointing Him, but it's less about D/s than it is about loyalty and trust and commitment for me.

I have written about sometimes "chafing at the leash"- those moments (sometimes hormonally induced) where I just want to say no, I don't feel like it. I've learned that, when those moods strike, to strike first by asking Him to speak freely and telling Him what I'm feeling. Then, it's in His hands.

For me, it reinforces to me that I must give Him everything, the good and negative feelings and thoughts. He owns them, just as He owns me. Having Him handle me through everything life throws at us just deepens my trust in Him and our bond.

Those feelings are natural (occasionally), not something to hide from your owner or feel guilty about.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 6:53:59 PM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I may occasionally have fond thoughts back to when I was single and not responsible to anyone- when I could go out to any club, or talk to anyone online or something along those lines. But I could never act upon those kind of thoughts now. Not because I am afraid of His wrath, or dismissal, but because I am in a committed relationship with understood parameters. Yes, I would rather face physical punishment than think about disappointing Him, but it's less about D/s than it is about loyalty and trust and commitment for me.

I have written about sometimes "chafing at the leash"- those moments (sometimes hormonally induced) where I just want to say no, I don't feel like it. I've learned that, when those moods strike, to strike first by asking Him to speak freely and telling Him what I'm feeling. Then, it's in His hands.

For me, it reinforces to me that I must give Him everything, the good and negative feelings and thoughts. He owns them, just as He owns me. Having Him handle me through everything life throws at us just deepens my trust in Him and our bond.

Those feelings are natural (occasionally), not something to hide from your owner or feel guilty about.

Thanks for sharing that Hejira. It sheds light on my situation. I occasionally long for my freedom. To roam free, like a wild horse, rather than one living in captivity. But as soon as I approach the "invisible fence" that separates being free and captive, I always turn around and want to return to Him, because I know where He is, there will be warmth, comfort and love.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 7:00:18 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

Does your Master set any boundaries in terms of who you can hang out with and where you can go, if he's not in town?

no, but I don't go to clubs, run around, want to fuck other men, etc...and I can't think of anywhere that I go that he disapproves of. I'm a mom and even though my daughter is now grown I'm still pretty much a homebody. About the only places I go are hiking, grocery store, shopping, out for dinner/bowling/a single drink with friends.

I don't think he'd be with me if I was the type that was always running around and wanting my freedom all the time.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 7:04:32 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

I don't NEED permission either per say...It's kind of like, if I want to do something like spend time with a friend that he doesn't approve of, or go to a party when he's not in town, I get second thoughts about it, because I know he wouldn't be happy about it.
And as a submissive, I wouldn't want to displease my Master. So I end up making an excuse and not going.

So you lie to your friends to make him happy. An interesting choice.

quote:

I just wonder sometimes if I'm missing out on something...

Evidently you are.

To Hejira -

quote:

it's less about D/s than it is about loyalty and trust and commitment for me.

This stuck out for me. And I want to add this about your man (and please forgive me if I overstep): If Cuffkinks said to me, "sunshine, I don't think that's a good idea," I dang sure would listen to him and his rationale. He has proven over and over how well he understands the world and people. I wouldn't (obviously) feel compelled to do as he said, but because I trust him and his judgment, I would hear him out and make my own decision. I think that is true for anyone who has friends who are wise.

best,
sunshine

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 7:37:23 PM

Hisprettybaby

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

Does your Master set any boundaries in terms of who you can hang out with and where you can go, if he's not in town?

There's only one person he doesn't want me to see, and that's not because he's inappropriate or a bad person per se. This guy is the one who I'd have tie me up once in awhile since Daddy's not that good at rope yet. But this Dom is too paranoid to show his face at a munch, or to even meet Daddy in private. So that's a good reason for Daddy to say no and I abide by it. I can certainly understand Daddy's reasoning.

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 8:08:25 PM

tyrasia

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i find myself in the position of being able to do what i want, when, and where, yada, whatev.....i am hating it completely and utterly.

tyr

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RE: Slaves Craving Freedom - 4/21/2011 8:17:22 PM

kiwisub12

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With my late Sir, there were times when i really wanted to tell him to get his own damn coffee - but, if push came to shove, I wouldn't have done it. Infact, i would have felt guilty as hell if i ever saw him doing it for himself.

Heck, there are times when i wish my kids would just vanish - but, it doesn't last long. It doesn't matter how much i love something, there is always a moment when i don't want it , but its just a moment. I don't pay much attention to it - I attribute it to being human.

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