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Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 9:48:17 PM

SirRussellP

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I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave. Almost all of my former subs or slaves know that I will help them if they need it and ask.

How do you feel about your former subs/slaves or Dom/Masters

Russell

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 9:56:14 PM

NuevaVida

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Because of the way he ended it and his subsequent behavior, I do not have anything to do with him.

Keeps things simple.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 9:57:06 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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They are former for a reason, usually because we were incompatible....

I dont expect my ex to do anything for me other then respect my wish for him to be out of my life.

The last i checked I was a grown adult, who dated grown adults.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:01:39 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

I dont expect my ex to do anything for me other then respect my wish for him to be out of my life.

Great way of putting it. My ex did not respect this, unfortunately.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:03:01 PM

LadyPact

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If we're talking about someone who was your slave and has not had the ability to have income over the years because she was your slave, yes! You have a financial responsibility.

Did you keep her medical insurance up to date? You need to continue that for at least some time before she gets on her feet.

Have you helped to settle her in a new home where she has a new start?

Does she need emotional support?

Yes, you have a responsibility.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:22:19 PM

littlewonder

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I don't even keep in contact with him anymore.

I bump into him around town once in awhile, say hi, quick chat and that's about it.

He has zero responsibility towards me nor would I want him to.

We've both moved on with our lives and basically complete strangers to each other now.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:26:03 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

I dont expect my ex to do anything for me other then respect my wish for him to be out of my life.

Great way of putting it. My ex did not respect this, unfortunately.

Thats what large scary friends are for in my life.... Most of My Ex's didnt respect this either... but blocking their way of contacting you in any way shape or form does help alot....

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:33:03 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

How do you feel about your former Dom/Masters

I am appreciative for what I learned from Master A - about myself, mostly, but also human interaction on a level I had not sunk to previous to that relationship. Pete was hot and fun and what I learned from him is that I'm damn good at Salsa dancing and I enjoy topping reactive bottoms.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:36:03 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Thats what large scary friends are for in my life.... Most of My Ex's didnt respect this either... but blocking their way of contacting you in any way shape or form does help alot....

Blocking him was helpful to me, too.

And like what Bita said, I must say I'm grateful for what I learned about myself from that relationship.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/25/2011 10:37:31 PM

HannahLynHeather

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i have nothing to do with my former mistress. when i left her i moved 3000 km away from her.

hannah lynn

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 3:38:32 AM

agirl

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I know that M would still give me help and advice if we parted as an M/s couple and I would appreciate it every bit as much as I appreciated it before I became his.

He may also feel a degree of responsibility toward me but I wouldn't expect it. We've shared a fifth of lives together and no matter what happens, will likely always be very fond of each other.

agirl

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 3:59:11 AM

LaTigresse

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There is no one, not even my ex-husband, that I feel so hateful towards I do not care what happens to them. (okay, so there have been moments I would like to be the cause of harm to the ex-husband but that's due to children related issues...)

No one from my past, aside from the previously mentioned, is a terrible human being. Obviously I saw something wonderful in each of them, even the previously mentioned ex. If they are showing they are doing positive things for themselves, of course I would do anything possible to assist. Most of them I still have love for. My love doesn't just die because the relationship wasn't working. Neither does my sense of responsibility.

Basically someone has to have done a total personality 180 and become a loser douche bag, like my ex-husband with his drugs and drinking, for me to want to have nothing at all to do with you.

I would never toss a good human being, especially one that served me well, out on the street with nothing, emotionally or physically.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 4:27:05 AM

kalikshama

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I am still great friends with my ex Dom and see him socially ever week or two. I would have stayed friends with my ex husband, but he was philosophically opposed to that, so we didn't. My parents modeled staying friends after divorce, although this may not have been the case had they not had children to look after.

As far as responsibilities, I agree with LadyPact, and the court did as well as far as my ex-husband continuing my health insurance for a while. His employer opposed this, which I successfully overturned, and then he got remarried. I might have continued to fight, but I had the VA health insurance to fall back on, and while that is less than ideal, it was free when I earned less than I do now, and the copays are quite reasonable although the access to care needs improvement.

My ex Dom feels like he is still responsible to cock-block me, but I just ignore this :)

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 5:29:17 AM

Palliata

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To me a true master/slave relationship is permanent, and I mean that in the most absolute sense of the word. I may part ways from them to an extent and give them back their freedom, but we'll always be connected irreversibly. This can make life a bit difficult at times, but such is the burden of power.

It is for that reason I am extremely, extremely slow to consider full slavery for anyone. I have only one 'ex' slave, and neither of us intends or expects to fully extricate ourselves from one another despite the fact that we're no longer compatible or able to be together. I would bring her back into my life and my home without hesitation if she needed me to, and consider myself every bit as obligated to her today as I was at the height of her submission.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 7:51:54 AM

leadership527

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I have no responsibilities towards Carol now and I would have no additional responsibilities if we parted ways. We don't deal in "responsibilities" which sounds a lot like "entitlements". What I would do of my own accord is do the best I can to provide a transition for Carol and ensure she was on her feet emotionally, financially, and every other way.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 8:17:42 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave. Almost all of my former subs or slaves know that I will help them if they need it and ask.

How do you feel about your former subs/slaves or Dom/Masters

Russell

I have zero responsibility to them.
But, as with most folks I love, if they needed anything, I would do my best to help. But that's not a dom thing, that's a decent people thing.
Nor does she to me. But I would like to think they don't talk shit about me, just as I don't about them.
Again, that's not a BDSM thing, that's a respect thing.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 8:36:57 AM

LadyConstanze

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It really depends a lot on what went down, there were a few people (luckily only a few) in my life who were just emotional and financial vampires, I'm better off not being in touch with them anymore and having them out of my life, one of them was a female friend who's mission in life was to screw everybody I was involved with (not exactly the actions of a friend), then an ex who emptied my bank account and maxed my credit cards (alright, I shouldn't have left them in my desk, but it was MY freaking home), and an ex submissive who lacked discretion and honesty. I cut off all contact and I think it's for the better, otherwise because things didn't work out as planned doesn't mean the other person it's bad, it just means we weren't right for each other.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 8:37:21 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

I dont expect my ex to do anything for me other then respect my wish for him to be out of my life.

Great way of putting it. My ex did not respect this, unfortunately.

Neither does mine. I am still trying to get him to understand it is over.

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 9:07:18 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I have no responsibilities towards Carol now and I would have no additional responsibilities if we parted ways. We don't deal in "responsibilities" which sounds a lot like "entitlements". What I would do of my own accord is do the best I can to provide a transition for Carol and ensure she was on her feet emotionally, financially, and every other way.

You seem intent on viewing things this way....perhaps a US thing, I don't know.

Everything you'd do *for* Carol , M would do for me. So perhaps people doing nice and encouraging things is based in whether you want to or not.......lol

I'm not at all sure about the *feeling responsible* thing, as it's only likely to occur from M's side. I can imagine he'd be caring about what's happening in my life and if he can have any input to aid that , he'd happily do so.

Why do you see responsibilities as entitlements?? It's the most strange thought to me/us.

I am beginning to think that M and I have a rather odd perception of responsibilities. We don't see them as *entitlements*..we see them as what is completely accepted and understood... * things we'd do* because we care and respect each other.

We can't throw them in each others face, we can't use use them as weapons against each other.

But my god, if I cannot do what we arranged or agreed to, if HE cannot, if WE cannot....... then we must talk and accept that too, no matter how hard it might be.

agirl

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RE: Responsibility for a former slave - 4/26/2011 9:17:39 AM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirRussellP

I am of the belief that I still have some responsibility for a former slave. Almost all of my former subs or slaves know that I will help them if they need it and ask.

I don't see those two statements as necessarily connected. No one has responsibility for me except me; however, there are people that would help me if I ask.

Cali

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