Choice or no choice? (Full Version)

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skylong -> Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 12:00:30 PM)

Subs, do any of you want choices? Big and small ones? Or do you want to be controlled without any choice?

For example:
"Do you want to sleep or play?"
"Do you want to suck or fingered?"
"Do you want me to play with your left or right side?"
Please notice I tried to include different levels of choices.

Slaves, I'm afraid you may have to skip this one. I know you are not allowed. But if you are, I'd like to hear from you too.





barbie87 -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 12:12:14 PM)

i dont think u need to be a sub to hate questions like that lol

but maybe its just me



Ishtarr -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 12:28:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: skylong

Subs, do any of you want choices? Big and small ones? Or do you want to be controlled without any choice?

For example:
"Do you want to sleep or play?"
"Do you want to suck or fingered?"
"Do you want me to play with your left or right side?"
Please notice I tried to include different levels of choices.

Slaves, I'm afraid you may have to skip this one. I know you are not allowed. But if you are, I'd like to hear from you too.





Watched too much porn, aye?

Do you realize that BDSM isn't all about making sexual choices, and that questions like these -like ANY question involving human behavior- is answered with "it depends with the context and the individual".



CalifChick -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 12:35:41 PM)

Is this like a chinese menu where you pick one from column A and two from column B and if you add another person you get eggrolls too?

Cali



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 12:37:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Is this like a chinese menu where you pick one from column A and two from column B and if you add another person you get eggrolls too?

Cali



Yes



leadership527 -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 12:52:32 PM)

Carol has an awful lot of input but not much choice. She is probably happy with the level of input that she has but wishes she had more choice.



WillowBayU -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 4:35:58 PM)

Just tell me what you want me to do, already!!  LOL...I am obviously new to this forum...[;)]



coookie -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 6:03:45 PM)

"it depends with the context and the individual" (Ishtarr)

Okay now my real answer ... i don't like choices i dont care about. All of the choices you gave i would not want choice over though a choice like "hey do you want to go to mexico or spain" would be one i would rather have a say. Ultimately i am very vocal about what i want when it matters and like to have a say then but when it doesn't i wont be.



littlewonder -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 6:11:32 PM)

I'm a slave so my only choice is to stay or go. But He forces me to make decisions on my own even though I absolutely hate to. If it were possible I'd be happy with him making almost all choices.




slaveluci -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 6:35:56 PM)

I'm a slave and I have lots and lots of choices. The "big" things He determines (and, of course, always has final say on everything) but He is so not a micro-manager and doesn't want to make every single little choice for me all day long. As a matter of fact, He enjoys that I make lots of daily choices for Him (i.e - what to fix for meals, what to suggest we watch on Netflix, etc.). I know His preferences and likes/dislikes and I use all that information to make choices He finds pleasing. He likes that[;)]

luci



NuevaVida -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 6:41:56 PM)

I have no problem making choices and he often delegates choices/decisions to me.  Unless he's delegating, he makes the choices, but I can have input, and often do.



DesFIP -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 6:42:11 PM)

I'm more likely to be asked if I'm feeling well enough for play or if I need some sleep instead. He sleeps five hours a night on average and is convinced that me needing eight means there's something wrong with me. In fact last time we were at the doctor's he asked the doc about it, I almost cheered when he was told that eight is average and that if that's what I need, then I should be allowed to have it.

I don't think he's ever asked if I would prefer the right or left side. I'm more likely to announce we have to switch sides of the couch because he's been pinching my left nipple all night and it can't take any more. He's fine with that, he just loves nipples.



poise -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 6:43:16 PM)

All of the above, and sometimes simultaneously.



DarkSteven -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 7:30:29 PM)

The day that I ask questions like that of my sub.... I got annoyed just reading that list.

Look, I'm not going to make lie changing decisions without her input.  But the choices on that list?  Pfffft.



aromanholiday -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 8:17:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: skylong

Subs, do any of you want choices? Big and small ones? Or do you want to be controlled without any choice?

Slaves, I'm afraid you may have to skip this one. I know you are not allowed. But if you are, I'd like to hear from you too.



This question makes my head spin! [:)] While I like having absolutely no choice very much, I don't think I'd mind mind making choices as long as I didn't have to choose what choices I got to make.



skylong -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 10:46:27 PM)

Thanks to those who wrote some meaningful replies. It is really cool to see the different reactions. Especially pointing out the difference between "input" and "choice". I also like the slave who has to make choices.

Well, since a lot of you have problem with the illustration of the question, I will change it and boil it down to.

Subs and slaves, do you want to have choices in
1) sexual related activities?
2) non-sexual activities (daily life)?



OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/29/2011 10:46:42 PM)

I am allowed options, even though I am a slave. It's just that mainly I prefer not to have them! If it's something sexual / BDSM then I'd much rather not have a choice, even the idea of not having a choice is a white hot turn on for me. If it's something practical and daily life, then I do prefer to have a choice, and mostly it's not a problem at all. i.e. what we have for dinner, whether we go out, if we want to socialise. Although Sir will have the final say in it, which is what I prefer too :-)

owned xxx



myotherself -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/30/2011 12:44:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

I am allowed options, even though I am a slave. It's just that mainly I prefer not to have them! If it's something sexual / BDSM then I'd much rather not have a choice, even the idea of not having a choice is a white hot turn on for me. If it's something practical and daily life, then I do prefer to have a choice, and mostly it's not a problem at all. i.e. what we have for dinner, whether we go out, if we want to socialise. Although Sir will have the final say in it, which is what I prefer too :-)

owned xxx



QFT.



Ishtarr -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/30/2011 12:48:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He sleeps five hours a night on average and is convinced that me needing eight means there's something wrong with me. In fact last time we were at the doctor's he asked the doc about it, I almost cheered when he was told that eight is average and that if that's what I need, then I should be allowed to have it.



OMG, it would be absolute hell for me to live with a guy like that.
I need a solid 10 hours to have a good night's rest.
I can make it on 8 if I have to, but doing that consistently will put me in a sleep debt.

I have a hard enough time as it is explaining to most people who know that 8 hours is average that an average means that: YES some people need more than 8 hours, and YES an 8 hour average doesn't mean that sleeping more than 8 hours indicates that there is something wrong with me, and YES an average is not the same as a maximum, and YES sleeping what is for me a normal amount and a biological requirement doesn't mean I'm being lazy sleeping in.

Doing that with a guy who thinks 5 hours should be enough would be pure hell for me.

Ishtar



leadership527 -> RE: Choice or no choice? (4/30/2011 9:20:25 AM)

For Carol the answers are the same in any context. For her this is all about pleasing me. She'd be really happy if pleasing me didn't involve so much obedience. But, sadly for her, that's not how it is so there ya go. For her it's as simple as weighing off one set of priorities versus another. But fundamentally, while she likes a strong leader, she'd probably prefer that in a more egalitarian way. Carol never particularly wanted to submit or be a slave. It's just what she needs to do to please the man she is focused on.



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