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something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting beco... - 5/10/2006 11:29:19 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

K, I’ve been chewing on this ever since I joined this site. why is it that so many dominant’s seem to think one sub is just like every other sub? I spend hours sometimes casually browsing through the profiles for fun and often see the same thing. Dominant’s bitching about subs that feel they have certain rights, limits, etc. that the dominants should listen to.

Seems to me that a lot of these problems could be solved if the dominants remembered that there are also pet’s, slaves, and switch’s not just sub’s.

I personally have never thought of myself as anything other then a pet and will openly admit to not really understanding the rest of everyone’s thought processes that drive them. I personally obey because I like to see my mistress smile. it makes my day to see her face light up when she comes home to find the house, yard, and garage fully cleaned without even telling me to.

I take care of her kids for the same reason. among my rewards are getting to share her bed and her buying me the uke snacks I’m addicted to (peanut butter and cheese crackers).

So what is your guys perspective on this? is it dominants just not being specific enough in what they want or visa versa? Or is it perhaps that it’s just the flood of poser dominants and subs that flood everyone’s mailboxes? Or am I just clueless about how things work? Or is it a combination of things or something entirely different?

I believe I will cross post this to the masters section to get both male and female views.

< Message edited by DerLachendeKater -- 5/10/2006 11:39:02 AM >

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

Post #: 1

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 12:34:47 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I have no idea why someone would complain in their profile.

I mean, aren't these the way we represent ourselves to each other? Shouldn't we strive to show our best face or to increase our likelihood of finding partners/friends?

Maybe those who just complain have gotten too many annoying emails or perhaps they have nothing of personal value to add because they don't know themselves well enough yet.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 2

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 12:39:07 PM

OnyxGoddess

Posts: 242
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Maybe those who just complain have gotten too many annoying emails

I have to admit i'm one of those who has a complaint or two in my journal entry for the reason above. Some folk don't read and you end up with more annoying emails. It's frustrating especially when you are just looking to meet nice sincere people to chat with, meet with, and learn from. My apologies.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 12:55:12 PM

MsMacComb

Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerLachendeKater
I’ve been chewing on this ever since I joined this site. why is it that so many dominant’s seem to think one sub is just like every other sub? Dominant’s bitching about subs that feel they have certain rights, limits, etc. that the dominants should listen to.

Hmmm, it could be unrealistic expectations,,, or they smoke to much crack, lol.

Addendum, I should add that many of those same type of dommes also wish the rest of us would conform to their ideals of what "dommes" should be and how we should all act. Its is perhaps that very type if irreverence that I exhibit that makes me so damn unpopular.

< Message edited by MsMacComb -- 5/10/2006 1:03:26 PM >

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 4

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 12:55:21 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I am going to assume that you are referring to what you would consider negativity in a profile. Maybe Mine falls into that category. I have a lengthy list of reasons why certain petitioners should not contact Me. I have received way too much email that is nonsense and doesn't even come close to what I seek.
*Shrug* I still get silly email from all over the world I just don't get as much of it. And that was My end goal. I give enough information so a boy or girl can determine if it is worthwhile to write to Me. If they choose not to, we have both saved time. If they choose to, I can only hope that a small pecentage of emails are from potential slaves who have a grip on reality and are ready. I recently had an email from a local who is a sissy. I suggested he keep in touch and meet with Me at a small FemDom oriented munch coming up soon. The response, finally, after 4 more days? He will think about it.
I have to wonder why he wrote in the first place. He is even local to Me.
I am glad you found what you want. I am not sure why you amuse yourself by reading profiles if you are already the pet you wished to be. But I am very specific about what I want, (slaves), and I am fine with what you want to be (a Switch pet). I run into a problem when I get email from the switches and pets and bedroom boys, when I have already tried to make it clear I am interested in service oriented slaves who are ready to dedicate themselves to Me. If you can figure out a better way to make it clear, please, have at it.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 5/10/2006 1:01:01 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 5

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 1:17:30 PM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

i mainly like to just see if theres anyone worth chatting with. i'm constantlly learning and improving. my mistress is fine with this she knows that i'm just looking for people to chat with seeing as she does the same thing.

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 6

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 1:22:01 PM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

thats problly it thanks for the response. to be honest its mostly the masters that i see bitching. i have a few ideas why, but i'm going to exeplore more before saying anything else

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 7

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 1:27:33 PM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

no need to apolgise i think it would be good if i clarifyed things abit. i'm not talking about the people who complain about getting useless emails. gods know i got enough of those myself. i was basicly talking about those dominants who blanket catorgize anyone who acts submissve and belives that we should all be treated as slaves who have no rights

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to OnyxGoddess)

Post #: 8

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 4:04:45 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerLachendeKater

Seems to me that a lot of these problems could be solved if the dominants remembered that there are also pet’s, slaves, and switch’s not just sub’s.

You got me! Too often I use the term, "sub" as an all encompassing category. For me, it's like ice cream - chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla - they're all yummy. I can see why pets, slaves, and subs would want their differences acknowledged. Excellent point.

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 9

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 4:24:47 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear DerLachendeKater, Ladies and Gentlemen;

As one knows, there are all sorts out there.

As far as I can tell, the negatives posted can't include names and such. With that said, some have a high expectation of "immediate" respect and or obedience, some use negative complaints as to invite someone browsing into a response, no different than phishing.

So many of the e-mails that come my way, are from lads who don't read my profile, who want to prove that they're "super slave" and I won't regret it, that I'm not a true dominant because I'm too fat and ugly to get a man so I got to pose as one here. [That one I usually start laughing so hard I'm in tears] I get lads who say that they will only submit to someone and then gives me a "wish list" to which is their fantasy, wants/needs and I'm to give in -- I do believe some of these chaps don't get it. Then, there are those who are so sweet, kind and gentlemen, who interact very politely.

I can see that you have had similar experiences.

For me--I do not expect anything. I don't wish to keep my hopes up and just enjoy like minded individuals and hopefully, be as much help as possible.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 10

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/10/2006 4:27:44 PM

thegreymistress

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

I do not complain, I just make clear what I will and will not accept in my inbox. If something does not fit I delete or block. I put enough information for the ones who read to find out if they want to talk to me. I filled out interests and even placed a pic lol.

(in reply to ladylexington)

Post #: 11

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/11/2006 12:36:11 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

i heart you so much. you actully managed to find my driveing point admist my rambling.

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to ladylexington)

Post #: 12

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/11/2006 12:44:14 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

thank you for the intelligent reply. addtionlly i personally think you look very dignified i hope you find what you are looking for

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 13

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/11/2006 7:57:56 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Folks that have been hurt, Dom, sub, d/s, vanilla find themselves with a clearer perspective of what went wrong in their first relationship and go to great pains not to re create the glaring errors of their past. What you see as negativity I see as a person who is a little tender and wants to protect him/herself.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 14

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/11/2006 8:15:21 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

as i said to someone else my main problem is not them getting bitchy about bad emails or protecting themselves. it is the dominants who go under the retarded view that every sub is the same as the next sub and that personally pisses off and offends me that on a site like this that give's such wonderful and eleborate search options and requirements that you can use and put in your profile i still get messages from people telling me to become their slave, sub, hell even master.

i am a pet and will never be anything else darnit.

*takes a breather *what i'm just trying to say that blanket catorgizeing anyone submissve or dominant on a site like this is to me personally inexecusable

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 15

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/11/2006 10:58:09 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Oppps wow did I read that wrong...heres a funny idea,,,what if when you wrote/spoke back you spoke in the pet animal persona you are most comfy with...a whinny, a purr or a bark? That might send the message....grin

Just know you are not alone in receiving the "I want you to be my fuck-fetish-fantasy, under no circumstance do I want you to be a real person." emails...It is a plague that no one is immune to, dont let it piss you off, that is just wasting time on wankers.....

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 16

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/11/2006 11:40:57 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerLachendeKater
why is it that so many dominant’s seem to think one sub is just like every other sub?

What gives you this impression? Are Dominants out there actually writing "I think all subs are the same."?

quote:

Dominant’s bitching about subs that feel they have certain rights, limits, etc. that the dominants should listen to.Seems to me that a lot of these problems could be solved if the dominants remembered that there are also pet’s, slaves, and switch’s not just sub’s.

So a Dominant bitches that s/he doesn't like submissives who come with limits. How does that equate to saying "All subs are the same."?

quote:

So what is your guys perspective on this? is it dominants just not being specific enough in what they want or visa versa? Or is it perhaps that it’s just the flood of poser dominants and subs that flood everyone’s mailboxes? Or am I just clueless about how things work? Or is it a combination of things or something entirely different?

I think if a Dominant is bitching/complaining about something (like a submissive having limits), they're being quite specific in expressing that they don't want that. That's different than saying that all submissives are the same. If I spent my entire profile bitching about electric play, I think it would be clearly apparent I wasn't seeking out electric play. That would not however, equate to me saying I think all types of play are the same.

I'm not picking at you here, but I see a trend of this general type of thread lately, of a submissive thinking that because a Dominant states (or even bitches about) what they don't want/like/believe in, it somehow equates to the Dominant thinking all submissives are the same.
I just don't get the connection and I don't understand how or why submissives are reading one thing (a Dominant complaining) but interpretting it as another (Dominants claiming that all submissives are the same.)

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to DerLachendeKater)

Post #: 17

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/12/2006 10:21:10 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

*grins devilishly* execellent idea tigress. on a side note thanks alot guys this post had alot of potential to become a flamewar on any other of my messageboards. instead it has been a wonderful dicussion. plus you guys forgive my horrible grammer etc it will get better just need to get word on all the comps in the house so i can write out stuff on there first. ^.^

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 18

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/12/2006 10:41:21 AM

DerLachendeKater

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

ok i will try to anwser you as best as i can within the rules of the site. as i have mentioned in above posts i look through other dominants and subs post when i'm bored and have no work to do in the house or am taking a short break.

something that i see often in the journals and profiles especally of male dominants but also female dominants is the attitude that pets subs slaves etc all fall under the sub term and all have the exact same rights or should i say lack there of.

personally if i was with one of these dominants and try to make me do some of the things slaves find aceptable i'd grab the nearest sharp object and drive it through their hand but thats just me.

i understand your not picking at me adtionally i now realize i made a misteake with the orginal post. i'm not talking about what a dominant says he or she exepects in a whoever serves them as its written in their profile. i'm talking about their journal's that speak much deeper volumes about their attitudes then their profiles do. people seem to become more comfertable and real in their journals and reveal more about themselves. i actully wonder if they think those journals arnt public.

i hope this anwsers your questions adquatelly.

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 19

RE: something thats been bugging me (It starts ranting ... - 5/12/2006 3:03:35 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not picking at you here, but I see a trend of this general type of thread lately, of a submissive thinking that because a Dominant states (or even bitches about) what they don't want/like/believe in, it somehow equates to the Dominant thinking all submissives are the same.
I just don't get the connection and I don't understand how or why submissives are reading one thing (a Dominant complaining) but interpretting it as another (Dominants claiming that all submissives are the same.)

I don't think that it's that they are reading one thing and thinking another necessarily. Yet again it's the idea of the newbies starting threads complaining so that they can get attention. If the newbies can just convert all of us ole fogies to their brand of kink then the world as they see it would be perfect. I mean we all became Dominants so that we can conform to the desires of every potential sub...right?

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 20

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