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regular punishment - 5/10/2006 11:46:10 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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this stems from a thread i started in 'ask a master' where, i stated that i am on the recieving end of regular [once a week] non-play punishment.

people seem to be torn over its effectiveness SO now, curious lil kitten i am:

Dom/mmes, any of you out there pratice [or agree] that this is effective? What brought you to these conclusions? if you have a sub/slave on the recieving eng of RP, how often? and why did you decide this was good for him/her?

sub/slaves, you too. Do you recieve? or desire to recieve RP? do you think its effective? or no?

Post #: 1

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 11:50:51 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Well I have been told I needed the judgmentalness spanked out of me and that this might take a lot of spankings, over a long period of time, basically so many spankings as I could not count them all, does this count?..LOL

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 2

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 11:53:05 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

lol, yes i think it does

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 3

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 11:53:10 AM

VvShadowspawnvV

Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
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hi mixie =)

Master does something similar- each night before He goes to bed, He gives me ten or twelve whacks with whatever whip looks good to Him at the time. Sometimes it's my favorite flogger- sometimes it's the horrid wooden paddle. Sometimes it excites me- sometimes i cry. Whichever it is, the point is the same- He can excite me, He can make me cry- because i belong to Him. It's a nightly reminder of my "place", which is what your Master's weekly "punishment" basically sounds like. If i'm off base, forgive me. =)

becca

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 4

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 12:08:22 PM

lilbitnella

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/7/2006
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quote:

sub/slaves, you too. Do you recieve? or desire to recieve RP? do you think its effective? or no?

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

I have to admit...sometimes, I did like when I recieved it. For some odd reason, it made me feel as if my Dom was paying attention? (Meaning, he was watchful and wanted to maintain my obedience.)

_____________________________

"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
~Rod McKuen~

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 5

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 12:31:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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From a purely psychological standpoint- random reinforcement is by far the best motivation in changing behavior.

For me that's what punishment/reward is about- changing behavior.

So unless they are ritually doing some behavior I consider inappropriate, I'm not going to be ritually punishing them. If they aren't doing something ritually that I would need to change the behavior on, then it's not a ritual punishment, it's just a ritual giving of pain.

And personally, I feel life is too short for us to worry about needing to ritually remind someone of who they are in my life that often, nor do I want to have to remember yet ANOTHER thing to do every week.

But, for some people, ritual itself is a big kink for them, so I can see why they would want to have a lot of rituals in their life and get something out of it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 6

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 12:35:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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Well, I'm only 'punished' so that I learn lessons and I embrace those now as something which is necessary to my growth. I'm beaten (or something) regularly, but it's not for punishment.. it's just because Himself has a rather 'healthy' sadist streak and he likes to keep it well exercised.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to lilbitnella)

Post #: 7

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 12:48:22 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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I know several Ds relationship where at the end of a week there is punishments given for any problems during the week.

I do not do this for two reasons.

First, I think that punishment is most effective when it is immediate so that there is a strong connection between the problem and the resolution of the problem.

Second, if my slave requires punishment on a regular basis then this is a signal to me that I have rushed things and there was not sufficent training before he was given the honor of being my slave OR he is not the appropriate slave for me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 8

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 12:52:06 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
From a purely psychological standpoint- random reinforcement is by far the best motivation in changing behavior.
For me that's what punishment/reward is about- changing behavior.
So unless they are ritually doing some behavior I consider inappropriate, I'm not going to be ritually punishing them. If they aren't doing something ritually that I would need to change the behavior on, then it's not a ritual punishment, it's just a ritual giving of pain.

I'll second this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I know several Ds relationship where at the end of a week there is punishments given for any problems during the week.
I do not do this for two reasons.
First, I think that punishment is most effective when it is immediate so that there is a strong connection between the problem and the resolution of the problem.
Second, if my slave requires punishment on a regular basis then this is a signal to me that I have rushed things and there was not sufficent training before he was given the honor of being my slave OR he is not the appropriate slave for me.

And then I'll second this.

Which pretty much leaves me with nothing left to say. lol

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 1:50:31 PM

denika

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Joined: 8/30/2005
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I try to never to get punished personally. It does happen, usually because I'm being self-depritiating and in those cases Rob will tell me to cut it out or if I'm being really obstinant about something he will pull out the big guns and threaten to call Him. Works every time.

If it came down to a weekly event there would be something seriously wrong in the relationship that was causing me to act in a way so inapproriate that I would have to be punished for it. But then, what most people call a punishment I would consider a reward.

denika

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 10

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 2:31:50 PM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
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I'm not into non play punishment. By all means dress it up as "punishment" but we both need to know it isn't really that. I want to please. If I don't something's gone wrong either with the instruction or it's something that I can't help. Also encouragement and praise get you a lot further but obvoiusly people differ. Entirely different matter if someone I'm submitting suddenly decides he'd like to spank me - that's for him to decide. It's a sexual thing largely, not a punishment thing.

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 11

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 2:32:23 PM

DarkSideOfThMoon

Posts: 117
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

I get punished when I do something wrong. Because Sir and I do not see each other as often as we would like I have a punishment diary, and strokes are given when we see each other for any offence commited since the last punishment.

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 12

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 2:55:27 PM

bandit25

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Joined: 6/18/2005
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For me, it's not punishment, it's pleasure.

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 13

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 2:56:20 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
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I have been punished twice since moving in with my Dom and I didn’t like it one little bit and therefore work very hard to not repeat it. For us punishment is a very serious issue. He gives me warnings, usually two and if I don’t correct the behavior by then I will be punished.

I want to please my Dom as much as I am capable of. He requires that I obey and learn from him. He also fully knows who I am as a woman and what I’m capable of. If I was doing things that got me punished all the time then he would be messing up in the training department.

Now, regular beatings for the fun of it are a very good thing!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to DarkSideOfThMoon)

Post #: 14

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 3:05:56 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I have been thinking about this question and I am wondering if this is "punishment" or if it is really discipline? These are not necessarily the same things. I know some people see them as the same things but they are not necessarily like these definitions show:

Main Entry: 1dis·ci·pline

Pronunciation: 'di-s&-pl&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French & Latin; Old French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil
1 : PUNISHMENT
2 obsolete : INSTRUCTION
3 : a field of study
4 : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c : SELF-CONTROL
6 : a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity
- dis·ci·plin·al

/-pl&-n&l/ adjective

Main Entry: pun·ish·ment

Pronunciation: 'p&-nish-m&nt
Function: noun
1 : the act of punishing
2 a : suffering, pain, or loss that serves as retribution b : a penalty inflicted on an offender through judicial procedure
3 : severe, rough, or disastrous treatment

while discipline can be punishment, the definition of punishment does not require there to be discipline. Perhaps what your Master is doing is discipline and not punishment? Just a thought.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 15

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 3:30:32 PM

allspicey

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Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

Punishment is only meted out for actual rule breaking or bad behaviour. It happens very rarely in our house (not because I'm so perfect but I do try to keep it to a minimum and he appreciates that and rarely punishes me

). However, we do have a morning ritual designed to reinforce for both of us our chosen lifestyle.

Each morning Master gives me six strokes with the cane. The impact level varies, depending on what he wants that day. Some days he wants my tears, some days my smiles. Afterward he asks me three questions to which I give him my ritual answers. The interesting thing about this ritual is it also gives him an almost perfect insight into my head space for that day. He can hear, in the emotive quality of my answers, how I am feeling about us and our lifestyle that day.

This is how it goes:

"Why are you here?"
"To serve and obey you, Master"

"Why am I here?"
"To use me and teach me and take care of me Master"

"Why are we together?"
"Because we need each other Master"

Sometimes we vary the words somewhat depending on the day and circumstances.

I find that it helps set the tone for the whole day and I miss it greatly when for some reason it doesn't happen. Even though the cane is not my friend!

allspice{T}

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 16

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 3:52:54 PM

badpaliden

Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

When my slave was driving over the road , befor she'd leave I'd give her a caning.. its continued "reminders" helped her night and curled up alone in her sleeper that she was loved and that I still expected her to be a good girl. I suppose that falles under ritual , but it seemed the logical thing to do. lol

(in reply to allspicey)

Post #: 17

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 5:55:52 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have been thinking about this question and I am wondering if this is "punishment" or if it is really discipline? These are not necessarily the same things. I know some people see them as the same things but they are not necessarily like these definitions show:

Main Entry: 1dis·ci·pline
Pronunciation: 'di-s&-pl&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French & Latin; Old French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil

Main Entry: pun·ish·ment
Pronunciation: 'p&-nish-m&nt
Function: noun
1 : the act of punishing
2 a : suffering, pain, or loss that serves as retribution b : a penalty inflicted on an offender through judicial procedure
3 : severe, rough, or disastrous treatment

while discipline can be punishment, the definition of punishment does not require there to be discipline. Perhaps what your Master is doing is discipline and not punishment? Just a thought.

mmm, thank you a lot for sharing this, maybe it is the more accurate nail to be hitting [discipline that is]

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 18

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 5:57:03 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i like this. seeing as how communication is so key in our sexual lifestyles, the fact that you have it every morning i think is grand. what an intelligent master you have.

(in reply to allspicey)

Post #: 19

RE: regular punishment - 5/10/2006 6:03:38 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Regular punishment for no infraction? No, I don't receive that. To me that seems as effective as spanking a child once a week just to remind him/her to behave. I do get punished when I blow it (fortunately not so much anymore), but in those cases the punishment is designed to teach a particular lesson about the particular infraction at hand. And the punishment may vary depending upon the infraction. I will associate a particular punishment with a particular situation and that will keep it in my mind.

Now, if you mean he doles out a spanking/beating/whatever once a week for the sole purpose of reminding you your place, I do not see that as punishment, I see that as him implementing a process which he feels will keep your head where he wants. If you have committed no infraction, how can you be punished for nothing? It is a training tool, perhaps. His right to beat because he deems it effective.

It may be very effective for you and not effective at all for someone else. I personally find when Master does something on a whim and at random, it is far more effective in reminding me who and what I am to him. If I knew it happened every Friday at 8pm, I would come to expect it, and eventually look forward to it. For me, expecting the unexpected works best.

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 20

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