aromanholiday
Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: radiantslave
I find that my emotional responses are over the top. A single look can shatter my universe, an ill word can crush my spirits, and any disagreement can reduce me to tears.
He has assured me that my reactions are fine. That the emotional responses come from the intense connection we have. While I have complete faith in his answer, I would love to hear from others - it's always nice to know that you are not alone.
While these are not the typical reactions of a non-submissive woman "in love" or simply loving (I've experienced these conditions both as a submissive and not--for me, it is a markedly different experience when your mate is not dominant), I agree that the connection between you two, which is "intense" on a lot of different levels, is the cause of this. It can be interesting to examine that connection in more depth. What is it comprised of? What makes it work? How is it similar to/different from close connections with other people? When I have done so, the conclusions I have come to included the following:
* You are, due to things that both you and he are doing together, far more open and vulnerable to him than you have been to any other person, even to former long-term partners. This vulnerability (or lack of emotional shielding, if you will) makes certain impacts from him, such as a disapproving look or word, that would be minor--because defended against--from any other person, very potently felt when they come from a direction where your shields are down. Examining the roots of this vulnerability (where does it come from, how did it happen?) can be a quite gratifying path of discovery as well, but one which I think best left to each individual submissive to explore on her own.
* A dominant who knows how to dominate understands that, with humans, anything used for communication can also be used to control. They innately understand this principle and study it in depth. Dominants are masters at emotional and mental manipulation. They know how to effectively apply speech and its tones, an expression, gestures or body language, silence, even a sentence of typed text in such a way that it completely alters the mood and orientation of those whom it is directed toward. While this mastery of communication is particularly effective toward those most vulnerable to a dominant's message, those submissives who are open toward him, I have also seen dominants very effectively ply their communication skills in public forums or groups in ways that change popular opinion or get complete strangers thinking or doing exactly what the dominant wants them to think or do. It can be truly astonishing to be a fly on the wall of a public forum and watch this occur. Of course, dominants vary in their communication-to-control talent, just as people vary in their ability to play an instrument or to create art; some are far more skilled at it than others.
It sounds trite to say this, but I'll say it anyway: what you are describing is what being controlled feels like. Enjoy the ride (actually, it would be more accurate to say, "enjoy being ridden,"  ), it is quite an expereince. There is nothing else I know of that is remotely like it.
_____________________________
"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"
My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.
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