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communication rituals - 5/1/2011 1:47:45 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		we hear all the time how important communication is, and i agree completely. every few days heather and i set aside some time and she sits behind me and brushes my hair, which relaxes us both, and we talk. we talk about everything, how we are feeling, where our heads are at, if we are happy, what the other did that we really liked, or what the other did that annoyed us, what we did or did not like in our recent play, where we see things heading, where we want things to head.

it has become a really pleasant and intimate time we both look forward to.

i wondered if anybody else had some communication rituals they follow, and if you don't mind sharing them.

thanks

hannah lynn


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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 2:07:27 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		Being the perfect little subbie that I am, I'll help get Hanners' thread rolling.

It was really hard for me to open up at first, so I found it really helpful that her back was to me. It made it much easier to be open somehow. Now we can talk openly, but still whenever I feel the need to talk about important things I grab the brush. It's become a sort of cue, rather than asking if we can talk. I find that helpful as well, because I have a hard time asking Hanners for things I want.

Heather


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clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

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My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 2:09:31 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		I put them in an armbar and tell them to give me their secrets.

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 2:12:40 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		It's cute how you call her Hanners.


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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 2:15:48 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Journaling of 2 different types:
play journals to discuss what happened in the last play sessions with him and my slave journal which He usually reads while my (mouth and) mind are focused elsewhere so that I do not obsess about what He might be reading.
If He feels a need to address anything in it he will another time.

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 2:16:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

It's cute how you call her Hanners.
The great and evil domiguy is going soft on us folks!! Actually, I agree, it is cute.

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 4:32:46 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		When we're staying at one or the others' home, I kneel at the foot of the bed at bedtime, he sits on the end of the bed, pulls me up so I can snuggle up to him, and we talk.  It's a nice quiet time, particularly on those weekends his daughter is with him. It's usually these times when we address some long in depth email I've sent him, that he'd rather discuss in person.  Other times, we just smooch and share a few words before going to bed.

For some of the more serious conversations that would take awhile, we've shared a glass (or two, or bottle) of wine and talked.

Edited to add:  Those days when we are not together, he calls me every morning on his way to work, we shoot a couple of emails to each other throughout the day, if I go out after work I call him when I get home, and he calls me every night at bed time to say good night.


< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 5/1/2011 5:26:58 PM >

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 5:14:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		While we're apart we call each other everyday at lunch and at night around the same times, I send an email everyday from work letting him know I'm there and when I'm leaving and when we're together we constantly talk. I can' t think of a time when we don't.

Communication is a big thing with us...open and honest always, nothing held back.


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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 5:34:05 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		Not really. i'm not in a relationship, and i don't talk much.

pam

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 8:16:56 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		I was taught that communication was a key element in relationships in general, and in relationships of this nature they were even more so. Which is why when He and I got together we became very creative about overcoming our communication difficulties. Things became difficult however when he brought another into our relationship, however being the optimistic person I try to be I continued to be creative and tried to establish a nightly routine of what they affectionately coined as "talky time". When difficult conversations (honest) needed to be had she refused to participate and in the end communication did not happen for us.
In my next relationship it will remain the number one priority.
Kali


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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 8:29:15 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

he calls me every night at bed time to say good night.
I bet that call is a really special moment for both of you, something you both look forward to every day.

Heather
__________________________________________

thanks all for the replies. i'm a little surprised that more folks havn't really ritualised it the way we do.

i started it because with my ex-mistress i had to ask permission to talk freely, and sometimes she would refuse that for weeks at a time, even if something was really bothering me. i wanted to make sure heather had frequent opportunities to speak freely about how she was dealing with our relationship and the things we do. she's shy, so when we first started doing it, it was mostly me asking questions and her answering, but now we just talk freely, letting the conversation go where it will. we usually do it at least 3 times a week, for anywhere from 1/2 an hour to 4-5 hour marathons when needed.

i'm really happy with the results, we are both very in touch with eachothers emotional and mental state and my hair has never been as healthy and shiny.

hannah lynn

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 5/1/2011 8:30:18 PM >

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 10:32:07 PM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		Lol, we always talk in the bath. This started out as a ritual at my first flat, where I had the world's tiniest bath, and no shower. The first time he was there, my fella asked me to come in the bathroom and wash his hair for him, using jugs of water from the sink. We got talking about things and this has stayed our ritual ever since. Whenever I run him a bath, I make myself a cup of tea or coffee, put a thick comfy towel on the floor, and we have a little micro therapy session about how we are, what we're thinking, stuff that has bothered us, stuff that we like, work, etc. It's actually at the point that if I don't want to come and sit with him and talk, he won't have a bath, as that's his favourite part of it now.

Plus I get to perve his gorgeous body wet, naked and covered in soap *weg*

owned xxx

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 10:58:52 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		that's a great one. warm, soapy, relaxing and sexy to boot!

thanks for sharing.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: communication rituals - 5/1/2011 11:14:53 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Once every couple months we have a State of the Union discussion.
During this time she can say anything with zero fear of repercussion.
It's a good thing, keeps the relationship healthy and strong.


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RE: communication rituals - 5/2/2011 7:32:29 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		We used to go for a walk after dinner.

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RE: communication rituals - 5/2/2011 9:38:04 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Once we cross the finish line on our weekly sailboat race typically around dusk. We head back out for a moonlite booze cruz. Which BTW is where that picture came from.

BadOne

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RE: communication rituals - 5/2/2011 11:23:52 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Carol and I have always seemed to communicate pretty readily without the need for any particular ritual. We absolutely do grooming/conversation sessions but they just happen all by themselves. A year and a half ago I setup an appointment in my calendar for a "How are we doing?" discussion every Sunday night. So for roughly 80 times now that reminder has popped up and we've looked at each other and said, "nothing to say"

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: communication rituals - 5/2/2011 1:46:38 PM   
MaxsBoy


Posts: 766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Carol and I have always seemed to communicate pretty readily without the need for any particular ritual. We absolutely do grooming/conversation sessions but they just happen all by themselves.


This.  We both prefer that anything that needs saying just gets said.  Otherwise it might fester, or get forgotten in the press of everyday life.

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RE: communication rituals - 5/2/2011 4:37:06 PM   
lovelyesme


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/26/2011
Status: offline 		almost always when we first crawl into bed- we have kiddos around so the privacy is great.  Tidy up the day, share things the other didn't witness, whatever. Often he decides to move us on to other activities and it is nice we have emotionally connected already.

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RE: communication rituals - 5/2/2011 6:29:35 PM   
peachgirl


Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		the days we are apart (many), in the morning, email first followed by phone, phone during the afternoon, email or phone at bedtime, always. a lot depends on the time zone he is in and his work schedule.

as far as discussing issues, we air them immediately but not via email. we have learned it is not productive for us to discuss issues that way because they only escalate into a big messy yuck.

< Message edited by peachgirl -- 5/2/2011 6:30:51 PM >

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