Super-Aggressive Ad Responses

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AllOfTheLights -> Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/1/2011 8:51:35 PM)
My girlfriend is bi and recently began seeking (with my permission) a Domme to play with. She just posted her profile recently and has received a few promising responses. He profile says that she'd like to be friends outside of the bedroom, but most of the initial responses are talking to her like she is already their slave (i.e. 'Worthless cunt I now own you. Be online at x time and I will test your worthiness.' My question to you is this: When you first talk to a potential sub/bottom, do you jump right into the D/s role, or do you talk as friends do until you meet/start playing?

Hillwilliam -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/1/2011 8:53:25 PM)
Friends first. If it goes beyond that, awesome. if it doesn't.. still cool. Listen to your gut. If someone is pushy, RUN

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/1/2011 10:38:17 PM)
And ask yourself...is this 'domme' really a female or a fake profile with a guy wanker behind it.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/1/2011 11:09:53 PM)
quote: And ask yourself...is this 'domme' really a female or a fake profile with a guy wanker behind it. you know. i'm really sick of this idea that if somebody is an idiot or an asshole, they MUST be a guy. there are just as many utterly clueless women as there are men. what's the deal, some sort of defense mechanism. some way of making women seem perfect? some need to deny that a woman could be a total shit? and its mostly dommes who hold this view too. makes you go hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm don't it? hannah lynn

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/1/2011 11:28:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: And ask yourself...is this 'domme' really a female or a fake profile with a guy wanker behind it. you know. i'm really sick of this idea that if somebody is an idiot or an asshole, they MUST be a guy. there are just as many utterly clueless women as there are men. I think it's more that on CM in particular there's a huge demographic of 'women' with stolen porn pictures and a hugely sexualised outlook I've never come across on a real-life woman. Women can be utterly clueless and complete shits, but they're clueless shits in a different way. The whole time I've been here, I can think of two women who behaved like that that I really believe were women. They exist, but they're a rarity. Compare that to Fetlife or informedconsent, and there I believe without hesitation that the vast majority of the complete shits I've seen posting as women really are women. So I reckon it's a site-specific thing (or maybe a thing specifit to highly sexualised sites? I don't know if alt or wherever has the same problem).

MistressK2011 -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/2/2011 12:30:33 PM)
Just friends. If "I own you now, worthless slut boy" was an effective method of finding and keeping a worthy sub/slave. . .I might'a tried it. lol But probably not. -K

leadership527 -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/2/2011 12:51:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AllOfTheLights 'Worthless cunt I now own you. Be online at x time and I will test your worthiness.' So out of curiosity, is she a "worthless cunt? Do they own her? Did she get online at X time? I'm gonna go out on a wild limb and guess the answer to all three of those questions is "no". So by definition, the "dominant" in question is deluded. I try to avoid delusional behavior. I try to wield authority I actually have rather than authority I wish I had.

kalikshama -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/2/2011 12:59:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather quote: And ask yourself...is this 'domme' really a female or a fake profile with a guy wanker behind it. you know. i'm really sick of this idea that if somebody is an idiot or an asshole, they MUST be a guy. there are just as many utterly clueless women as there are men. ... hannah lynn Well, I happen to know guys who do this. Additionally, having previously had bi-f seeking bi-f profiles, an ASTOUNDING amount of "women" disappeared when it was time to get on the phone. Hence the oft seen "must voice-verify." Yes, men posing as women is common, if not rampant. It's been going on since the 80's: http://www.techistan.com/2010/05/12/cyber-men-pretending-to-be-women-techistan/

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/2/2011 3:48:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AllOfTheLights My question to you is this: When you first talk to a potential sub/bottom, do you jump right into the D/s role, or do you talk as friends do until you meet/start playing? Friendship first. If I am interested in someone I have been talking with online, have not met up with him in person and do not know if we are compatible yet...it would be foolish of me to form emotional attachments through rituals and "playing" with someone who isn't mine. When I have seen this ('Worthless cunt I now own you. Be online at x time and I will test your worthiness.') behavior through chatrooms and mailrooms, I have put it into two categories. Either someone really enjoys cybering and online domination/submission...since this is only online, it is "safe" and meaningless makebelieve, so taking time to know the other person is irrelevant. Two...someone is fishing for newbies, hoping to find someone who is easily pushed into frenzy so they leave their common sense behind and leap into something that feels deliciously intense. A lot of people cut their baby teeth on online roleplay. If that is what floats their boat I hope they have a lot of fun with it. As for that last part, I have known a lot of newbies who had very bad first experiences because they went into sub frenzy and responded to someone claiming instant ownership. The best relationships I have had or have known about started off with friendship, checking for vanilla compatibility and building trust.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 12:11:54 AM)
quote: I think it's more that on CM in particular there's a huge demographic of 'women' with stolen porn pictures and a hugely sexualised outlook I've never come across on a real-life woman. quote: ... an ASTOUNDING amount of "women" disappeared when it was time to get on the phone. Hence the oft seen "must voice-verify." Yes, men posing as women is common, if not rampant. To be fair, I've had some good experiences with wonderful men who advertised themselves as males here on CM, but no contest...MANY more like the quotes above. I think the funniest one was a UK 'domme' who wrote that her sub was visiting California and 'she' was trying to round up local Mistresses to give him what for while he was in town. Calling 'her'/him on it I wrote back 'Let's talk directly by phone and we can discuss this situation' of course there was no reply.

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 12:29:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Friends first. If it goes beyond that, awesome. if it doesn't.. still cool. Listen to your gut. If someone is pushy, RUN I agree with friends first. I don't so much agree with pushy, you should run. If she or he is too agressive for one's taste, than certainly say so, or remove yourself from further communication, but I don't think "pushy" is necessarily a negative/run from condition. If a man comes at me too aggressively, I tell him to cool it down, or back off. If a man is offensive, and pushy, than I definitely tell him, to get lost. M

DarkSteven -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 5:02:51 AM)
C'mon. Who in their right mind would attempt to own someone without knowing if the person is a meth addict, a kleptomaniac, a serial killer, or just a nasty person? Either someone clueless or desperate. Doesn't matter. Block, hide, delete.

pyroaquatic -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 9:09:58 AM)
That kind of behavior reeks of desperation. It turns me on after a relationship has been established with open communication. I used to bite on this kind of bait when I was nubile and green. Quite irritating now.

kalikshama -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 10:06:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven C'mon. Who in their right mind would attempt to own someone without knowing if the person is a meth addict, a kleptomaniac, a serial killer, or just a nasty person? Either someone clueless or desperate. Doesn't matter. Block, hide, delete. Oh, I suspect the 'Worthless cunt I now own you. Be online at x time and I will test your worthiness" approach is only used by someone who has no intention of transitioning from online to real life.

GreedyTop -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 11:15:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic That kind of behavior reeks of desperation. It turns me on after a relationship has been established with open communication. I used to bite on this kind of bait when I was nubile and green. Quite irritating now. smooooch

pyroaquatic -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 1:13:03 PM)
More smooches for the smooch jar. It garners interest ya know. :D Smooches for the flying monkey!

BKSir -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 1:26:41 PM)
Definitely friends first. I don't want to end up being stuck with someone I find out I don't actually like. And by "friends", I mean, it may be 2 years before we move beyond that level. Why rush into something?

LaTigresse -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 1:30:38 PM)
Definitely friends firstish. Although.......if I am getting to know someone I am going to know rather quickly if I want to know them better or not at all. If I want to know them better, and if I want to know them better than 'just friends' I am going to get pretty impatient and annoyed in 2 years of waiting as 'just friends'. If that makes any sense at all...

heartcream -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 1:36:23 PM)
La T you make sense!

BKSir -> RE: Super-Aggressive Ad Responses (5/3/2011 1:55:00 PM)
Okay, 2 years is a bit hyperbolic I guess, but at the same time, I have no problem waiting that long. Although I agree. I'll pretty much know in the first few days if a person is worth getting to know better.

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