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Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 2:10:43 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Hi everyone. Just curious how you perceive your desire for pain. Do you consider it a need or a want? Does your Dominant consider it a need or a want? i tend to view it somewhat as a need, as it has such a physical affect on me that it balances me and when i don't have it for awhile i feel the change.

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 2:26:11 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		It's a want for me. I just like it, but I can live without it. I can't get to subspace without it however, so if Himself wants me in subspace, that's the way to get me there.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 3:51:55 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		maybe someone can explain this to me is the endorphen rush or what?  Myself pain does nothing for me pain hurts it is not a turn on for me.  I am hoping those who enjoy pain can explain it to me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 3:55:20 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Pain alone does nothing for me except hurt...pain and pleasure together is a great turn on.

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Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 4:27:10 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		That question is tricky to me...

I do not need it or I would be flogging myself daily...lol (even though I do exercise for endorphin fixes). I am alone at this point so I am not into self inflicted pain...

I think of needs in two tiers. I have the need for food, shelter, air... you know... physical survival needs...Under that definition it is a want, not a need

I need love and affection, which my family gives me, the lucky lady that I am

I need a mate but I have not resided with one for a long time...

I can say this, in the context of a long term relationship I NEED someone that will push my pain button. I have turned doms down that did not understand masochism and  were turned off by inflicting pain on a sub. I do not need bondage, but I need pain in my dynamic. In this sense I guess it is a relationship need for me. It is a deal breaker if someone isn't a sadist.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 4:34:52 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

maybe someone can explain this to me is the endorphen rush or what?  Myself pain does nothing for me pain hurts it is not a turn on for me.  I am hoping those who enjoy pain can explain it to me.

Matt's littleone


I found a link that will explain endorphins for you and it has other links you can follow http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin

Also here is one about subspace and endorphins which i am not sure of but it may have something useful for you but it is just someone else's experience so it may not apply to you at all http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/harrissubspace.htm

Hope that helps

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 4:36:14 PM   
VvShadowspawnvV


Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		i NEED to be in a place where i know He may hurt me if He wishes.  The way to know this is to feel it.

i sometimes WANT to feel pain as a means of relieving other feelings/emotions.  Sometimes want it desperately... but i can't call it a "need".  

=)   becca


(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 5:45:58 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		For me it's both. I enjoy it very much in an s/m context. Stubbing my toe or smacking my knee on something, etc. doesn't do anything but hurt and piss me off. For the most part it is a want for me, but there are times when it's in the need category such as if I'm in deep emotional distress. Getting that pain need met helps balance me back out.

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 6:11:16 PM   
painworm


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		It is a need.

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 6:12:47 PM   
ShivaTS


Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline 		I dont need pain.  I love it though.  I dont have sex in a traditional way (genital stimulation) and get my release from an intense play session.  My Master jokes I need it all the time, but we really only get into major stuff once or twice a month.  It would be nice to have it more often, but I dont need it.  Considering that I require 30+ minutes of aftercare and find I constantly falling into subspace for the next couple of days from the pain, it is better the way it is right now.  The care my Master gives me in those days is pretty nice, though.

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 6:45:35 PM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		It is a want, like most things in my life.  Needs are minimal for me.
 
piscess

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/10/2006 7:34:24 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		both

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 6:36:42 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you julia.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 7:12:09 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		This is a good thread topic.

For me it's a "want"; definitely not a "need."  I do not enjoy pain.  But.....I enjoy submitting to it, mainly because I find it distasteful and hurtful and because he enjoys subjecting me to some slight "torture."  It's another one of the those contradictions that I am drawn to. 


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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 7:25:14 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive

Hi everyone. Just curious how you perceive your desire for pain. Do you consider it a need or a want?...


this slave NEEDS to serve, as well as regular hydration, nourishment, shelter and occasional meds.  everything else, including  the desire for pain is a want. 

(in reply to Submotive)
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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 7:30:01 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

maybe someone can explain this to me is the endorphen rush or what?  Myself pain does nothing for me pain hurts it is not a turn on for me.  I am hoping those who enjoy pain can explain it to me.

Matt's littleone


imagine something that is a turn-on for you.  something that gets you all hot and wet and orgasmic.  now substitute that something with pain and voila...it is pretty simple, really.
 
there have been a few threads here that include lots of theories as to the mechanics of it all.

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 5:21:52 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		It isn't something that I would literally die without, so in that context it is not a need.  I find that a session of S/M helps balance me emotionally and mentally, but I also get that balance in a kickboxing session.  It helps my Lord, alandra and I bond on a very intense level.  There are times that it is a very primal experience where we are all stripped down to our core.  The bond that we build in those times is something that for myself, I do not experience without pain.  I would say that it is a need for the relationship that I have with my Lord.  We wish to fully share ourselves with each other and part of that is his sadist to my masochist. 

So it is not a need for me to live, or even for the relationship to live, but it is a need to have the type of relationship that we want.

Knight's kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 7:08:10 PM   
gardenbluebird


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		For me it's a want, not a need.  It is a wonderful delicious want though.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/11/2006 7:29:30 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just a want for me but once in a while it does build to be a very intense craving

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Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

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RE: Pain - Need or Want? - 5/12/2006 7:34:13 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		For me, my desire for pain is nothing more than a want. I don't need it to survive.

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~~@ cass @~~

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