Honest Question (Full Version)

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USMCGUNNER1971 -> Honest Question (5/2/2011 2:39:59 PM)

I have a honest question.
I hate TROLLS, they have no respect for the LS, they mostly think the LS is just for sex.
My question is how can a SWM DOM, find a SWF sub? While looking for the right one, and not look ad be treated like a TROLL?




BonesFromAsh -> RE: Henest Question (5/2/2011 2:43:14 PM)

What's an "LS"?



mnottertail -> RE: Henest Question (5/2/2011 2:44:01 PM)

LS/ or MFT?

Get thee to a munch. 

Henestly, I would be chicken to say more.



USMCGUNNER1971 -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 2:48:40 PM)

LS = The BDSM Life Style

MFT?



mnottertail -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 2:50:17 PM)

mnottertail fuckin teasing.  get thee to a munch.



USMCGUNNER1971 -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 2:53:13 PM)

Thanks for the info.



windchymes -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 3:00:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: USMCGUNNER1971

LS = The BDSM Life Style

MFT?



Aw c'mon, you're old enough [;)] Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco!

I'll just teaberry shuffle on outta here......lol



peppermint -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 3:04:35 PM)

First, you do yourself no good by posting such a whiny post here.  It's very undomlike to whine.  This is the internet.  If you can't handle the internet and the bull shit involved with using it, then don't use it.  Simple.  This is a free site.  Yes, there will be all kinds of people here and not all are into BDSM.  It's YOUR job to weed out the ones that do not satisfy your criteria.  The people you have aimed your post at never come to the forums.  They don't care if you don't like them here.  They don't care that you hate trolls. 

I'm not sure which part of Northern AZ you are from.  Until recently I know there was a roaming munch in the Lake Havasu/Kingman area.  I can get you some information if you are interested.  Ask on the other side if you want to know. 

We have a monthly munch in Yuma, but won't meet formally again until November as many of our members are snowbirds.  Before we started the munch here we used to drive to Phoenix to go to APEX functions and Tucson to go to DD.  We'd spend the night.  If you are retired military the rooms at the bases are spacious and quite reasonable.  The SW Leather Conference takes place in Phoenix early in the year, every year.  There you could meet a larger group of people. 

Remember...Collarme is just one small tool to use to find someone.  If should not be your only tool to find someone.  Expand your search using other ways. 

edited to fix spelling errors



needlesandpins -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 3:11:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes


quote:

ORIGINAL: USMCGUNNER1971

LS = The BDSM Life Style

MFT?



Aw c'mon, you're old enough [;)] Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco!

I'll just teaberry shuffle on outta here......lol


i'm sorry but this just made me chuckle because it made me think of a randoms sweet advert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzuSOZN4T58

sorry about that, but i'm smiling.

needles



subbykat -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 3:40:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: USMCGUNNER1971

I have a honest question.
I hate TROLLS, they have no respect for the LS, they mostly think the LS is just for sex.
My question is how can a SWM DOM, find a SWF sub? While looking for the right one, and not look ad be treated like a TROLL?




Someone's always going to think your a troll. Just ignore those who do and it will make the selection process much easier.



couple4life -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 3:52:25 PM)

I agree with peppermint, you give idiots access to a free site, no matter what type of site, and BAM trolls. Meet up at munches, find local groups to be apart of and go to meetings. Just remember, chances are high that SWF you are referring to will think your some SWM troll going after her because she is a. a female (from what you know :P) and b. breathing. Take it slow, get to know people and form bonds where maybe one of them will turn into the relationship you want.

Just my two cents.

anne



littlewonder -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 4:13:48 PM)

stop moaning and get out in the world and date.




RedMagic1 -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 4:19:53 PM)

I think the most important dating skill for a man is the ability to handle rejection well. If you are afraid of a "no," you subconsciously speak more defensively, or aggressively. If you don't much care whether she says no, you sound self contained and self controlled, less manipulable. As a result, she is more likely to say yes, especially if she is a sub. Fear of rejection becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

So Gunner, to not be treated like a troll, act like a gentleman who does not care whether she writes back. If you get into that frame of mind, she will be more likely to respond.



angelikaJ -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 5:10:34 PM)

The man who became Master to me, sent me a polite email that asked thoughtful and interesting questions related to my profile.

2 things:

1) I had been here about 18 months, and so it took that long to meet my One.
Have patience.

2) He actually read my profile (which was not sex focused) and put thought into the questions he asked.

So he asked me questions in such a way that made me interested in him.

From his initial email, a dialogue began and the rest is history: we are still together; over 2 years later. This was not a case of instant sub/slave: just add collar. We took time to get to know one another.


Don't rush.

Trolls and scammers will show their hand pretty quickly... on both sides of the kneel.

Fill out your profile a bit and drop the dating ad lingo.
(Just my personal preference, mind you.)

No text speak; spelling and grammar do count (usually).

Your profile should give a snapshot of who you are, what you are looking for, and what you have to offer.
The less negativity the better.

Best wishes in your seach.



DesFIP -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 5:49:44 PM)

Fill out your profile.
If you send out an email, many times a woman's first inclination is to read the profile before opening the email. Yours says absolutely nothing about you. If I receive an email from an empty profile, I delete the email before reading. You can't be bothered to tell me about yourself, it's then highly unlikely you will bother to read mine.

Now figure out what kind of person you are looking for. Not physically but personality wise. Someone bubbly or someone quiet. Introvert or extrovert. And all these things you want it someone else, you need to tell people about you. Do not focus on sex or s & m. Focus on normal everyday activities because most of life will be eating dinner, watching tv, doing chores, talking about work and family and so on. If you aren't compatible in those ways, it doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom.

End your profile with a one liner about your play style. Sadism or bondage? If you have a special love for bullwhips or needles, this is the place for that. But no more than a sentence or two.

And many times women look at your forum posts because they give a better view of a person, a more honest view than a profile does, which is after all an ad.



sirssubk2008 -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 7:28:33 PM)

I agree with most everyone else............when I see a profile that is as blank as yours, I would usually just send you a polite not interested response if you had emailed me.
You shoud tell us about you.
Do you read others' profiles? If you do, I'm sure that you choose to write to someone based on what was written in the profile. Something there had to have caught your interest. What is it that makes you, you? This is something many of us look for to see if we have any common interests or anything that peaks our interest in you.
We don't want to just know about your likes/dislikes where sex is concerned. Do you like flea markets? Country music? Find a happy medium with info about yourself that gives us a decent picture of who you are.



Lockit -> RE: Honest Question (5/2/2011 7:41:43 PM)

I may be one royal bitch and may be coming to believe I must be, because I just have a hard time believing someone is dominant, almost forty years old and doesn't know how to present himself so that he isn't viewed as an overly sexually influenced troll. How does one get to almost forty and not have an idea on how to present himself and what makes him think that if he can't figure that much out, that he could control, rule over or influence the life of another?

Maybe once you convince yourself... you might be able to convince someone else. That's what makes sense to me. Stop complaining about others, examine yourself and position, refine where needed and go do it.



mnottertail -> RE: Honest Question (5/3/2011 7:59:58 AM)

I didn't get to be 57 years old and alone by being good at relationships. And look at me. 



windchymes -> RE: Honest Question (5/3/2011 8:13:41 AM)

And you're not even 57 yet, go figure.



Killerangel -> RE: Honest Question (5/3/2011 8:35:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: USMCGUNNER1971

I have a honest question.
I hate TROLLS, they have no respect for the LS, they mostly think the LS is just for sex.
My question is how can a SWM DOM, find a SWF sub? While looking for the right one, and not look ad be treated like a TROLL?




I always shake my head when I read someone putting the 'lifestyle' on a pedestal as though it's something that is noble and good and deserving of all this respect. Say what? We're mostly talking about a bunch of people that have preferences in how they like to run their lives and what they like to do in the bedroom. I like it just as much as most but when the day comes that I have to bow down to a bunch of lofty ideals I'm hanging it up.

OP, you can't control what other people do. Do what you think is best and concentrate on that. If you don't want to be treated like a troll then approach someone as a person first and try to get to know them person to person. The same thing you'd do at a party. Write some emails out to profiles that interest you and see what happens, the munch idea is an excellent one too.



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