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RE: sad slave - 5/4/2011 9:20:46 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Obviously, the OP is extremely distraught and unhappy. What we don't know is if this is a "bad day" kind of unhappiness or a long term problem. Often, even on "bad day" type of things, one will often think of every single bad thing that ever happened and dramatize them because they are angry and upset.

One day thing, it will pass. Long term thing, there isn't any point to trying to salvage things, because then the "talks" have been attempted, working things out has been attempted and the time to shit or get off the pot has come. Perhaps the OP's methods of talking are not the best, but in the end that doesn't matter.

For those who will talk about "honor" and how she made a lifelong commitment....there is no honor in being miserable and if things have gone that far south, commitment is nothing more than a word.

(in reply to slavesally22)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: sad slave - 5/4/2011 10:20:27 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		i've been where you are. i kicked him to the curb. sorry but as long as she's around you've been set aside. he's made his choice. your turn now.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: sad slave - 5/4/2011 10:48:02 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NavyGirl18

quote:

you might still want to let the husband know... just out of spite
Wow! You're mean! [:D]



Meaner than stabbing some guy with a pencil ??? Which BTW is listed in her profile.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to NavyGirl18)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: sad slave - 5/4/2011 12:42:50 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Meaner than stabbing some guy with a pencil ??? Which BTW is listed in her profile.

BadOne

Who is her, please?


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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 12:18:56 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Meaner than stabbing some guy with a pencil ??? Which BTW is listed in her profile.

BadOne

Who is her, please?




The meanie navygirl

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 2:44:22 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Cheaters get found out. She doesn't have to shoot herself in her own foot.


Cheaters only get found out about if they a: come clean... or b: get ratted on
if nobody's doing the ratting and the cheater is careful and discreet and 'forgets' to mention anything, especially if the partner is too busy or uninterested to take any notice... then they won't get found out about.

Some people find great empowerment in sticking a knife in the person who bugs them to much, it is a great way to get out of the 'victim' mode... might even work better than a 12 step plan

The reason not to stick a knife in would be if this is a problem of the op's own making...
like she might have suggested to her man that it would turn her on to be the lowest slave in a poly set up triad thing... (i can quite relate to the sexy idea of that)... but forgot to mention it was only a fantasy...
So her man might have taken her suggestion serious and proceeded to attract another woman... he chose 'safely married' so the extra would not become too demanding... but nevertheless in a role above the op...
and now the scene is playing out...he is having a ball... the married (maybe cheating) woman is doing her bit... but the op is miserable; it is all too real and they are not 'nice' to her...
maybe some fantasies should indeed remain fantasies?

and now she is trying to talk to her man... and he is not listening...
maybe the op could stop 'talking' and start yelling her 'safeword'...
maybe she can rise above him and put her foot down... tell him she will take steps if he does not quit his 'engagement' with the woman... game over... nobody really is a slave you know

anyway... pure speculation on my part

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 3:41:48 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

The meanie navygirl


Ah..that meanie.

As an aside here, the sad slave posted basically the same thing yesterday in the intro section. Same thing, major bid for sympathy with no real interaction with other posters. I'm not sure if she just wants the sympathy, is so emotionally distressed she's non-responsive, or actually expects to find an "insta fix your dynamic pill" here on a message forum.

Perhaps a combo of  all three?

I feel for you sad slave, but without real dialogue beyond how sad you are, we can't offer much in the way of help.


_____________________________



(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 5:21:44 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

The meanie navygirl


Ah..that meanie.

As an aside here, the sad slave posted basically the same thing yesterday in the intro section. Same thing, major bid for sympathy with no real interaction with other posters. I'm not sure if she just wants the sympathy, is so emotionally distressed she's non-responsive, or actually expects to find an "insta fix your dynamic pill" here on a message forum.

Perhaps a combo of  all three?

I feel for you sad slave, but without real dialogue beyond how sad you are, we can't offer much in the way of help.



I get the feeling that she's under the impression she cannot leave and wants the previous relationship back which she had pre-poly.

I also get the feeling that she wasn't in love with her Master at all, but just having a relationship with him.  Now that the relationship has changed, she wants the old one back.  She seems to feel like the other woman is pure evil and has stolen the relationship from her.

OP, your Master has a full scale mess on his hands.  You hate the other woman's guts and from the sounds of things she's not find of you either.    Unless you're capable of changing your views of her, and I doubt you are, you may want to try a trial separation and see if that clears out some emotion.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 6:13:58 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		based on your op and the info you have given, I'd say the proper thread title would be "sad piece of ass".


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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 8:48:15 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

As an aside here, the sad slave posted basically the same thing yesterday in the intro section. Same thing, major bid for sympathy with no real interaction with other posters. I'm not sure if she just wants the sympathy, is so emotionally distressed she's non-responsive, or actually expects to find an "insta fix your dynamic pill" here on a message forum.

Perhaps a combo of  all three?

I feel for you sad slave, but without real dialogue beyond how sad you are, we can't offer much in the way of help.



its probably just a bit of blowing off some steam... maybe hoping for some sympathy... i have to say i understand many posters who post the original question, but then don't post anything after that...
lots of members can't wait to dig their virtual teeth into the original posters, especially when it is about poly drama

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 11:01:52 PM   
slavesally22


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/3/2011
Status: offline 		no Sir she hidding it. 

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 11:04:11 PM   
slavesally22


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/3/2011
Status: offline 		thank you so very much. im so tore up inside . thanks so much slavesally22

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 11:14:57 PM   
slavesally22


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/3/2011
Status: offline 		thank you so much for your advice it really making me feel better i hate beening so upset. she was caught by her husband yesterday. She wanted to move in i know i'm not to say she can't. i did tell him if she did i would leave. She called and she was told to stay away. I was his first choise and he wasnt letting me go. he was concernned that my health and emotions were sennding me into a depression. i have'nt talked to him just doing my jobs and staying quite. thanks again slavesally22 

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 11:17:19 PM   
slavesally22


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/3/2011
Status: offline 		i think your right.  she is in controll. 

(in reply to Charnegui)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: sad slave - 5/5/2011 11:35:21 PM   
slavesally22


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/3/2011
Status: offline 		thank you all for your imput as of yesterday her husband found out. Master told me i dont know if i belive him yet he has lied to me in the past. i hate not trusting people i am a loner for most of my life so i dont have anyone to talk too. thank you all

(in reply to slavesally22)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: sad slave - 5/6/2011 7:31:09 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavesally22

thank you all for your imput as of yesterday her husband found out. Master told me i dont know if i belive him yet he has lied to me in the past. i hate not trusting people i am a loner for most of my life so i dont have anyone to talk too. thank you all


Oh boy.  As if this didn't have enough red flags...


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to slavesally22)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: sad slave - 5/6/2011 3:30:14 PM   
slavesally22


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/3/2011
Status: offline 		whit your gidence and beening able to talk to you Master and Mistress, you have opened my eyes. sence her husband found out my Master hasnt said much to me. I have been very quite and only answered when i am asked. he has not mentioned her name for the last two days. Today i feel better hes been more open to me we talked alot about how i felt how abonded i felt. we had very loving sex and i fell asleep in his arms. i still am on edge and very caushiou about everything. i have some trust ishues . talking to you people have made a diffrence thank you very much. slave sally22

_____________________________

slavesally22

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: sad slave - 5/6/2011 4:24:54 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sally -
You aren't addressing the underlying issues. You may be able to scoop up something positive for a short time, but until you manage the distrust, the cheating, your own need for getting your shit together, all you are doing is putting a bandaid on a gun shot wound.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: sad slave - 5/6/2011 5:02:22 PM   
weaselwelder


Posts: 72
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavesally22
i have'nt talked to him just doing my jobs and staying quite.


Master does not mean master of mind reading. That magic sentence up there makes me suspect that maybe you're doing such a good job hiding from your master that he DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING WAS WRONG.

You talked to him, that's good. Keep doing so. If you can't talk to him, or he can't talk to you, then it's time to leave. A D/S relationship is a relationship. Communication is the whole of the thing. When one of you isn't listening, either one of you, it's over.

My sig, read it.

_____________________________

If you're on here asking for relationship advice, you're talking to everyone except the one you should talk to.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: sad slave - 5/6/2011 5:24:38 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Thank you for the answer.  Judge his intentions by his actions.  If your Master is secretly having sex with another man’s wife/property/alpha and he made her head/alpha of his house . . . well, it explains why you might having trust issues eh?  Either he is dumb as a doornail or a liar. 

It would take informed consent of all parties to have shared property (or poly).  So either his judgment in making her alpha was asinine or he lied about his intentions.  Me thinks she was just secret pussy on the side and he doesn’t want real commitment, he is just pretending and it’s all just a fantasy to him.  They were both playing head games. 

The online sex only stopped when you caught him.  Fucking someone else’s wife only stopped when they got caught.  Trust issues aren’t your only worry.  Hope he uses condoms.  

He isn’t poly either.  Poly involves informed consent.  He is just another horny little cheater lying his way to the next piece of ass using lifestyle BDSM as a guise to cover his tracks.  Another man’s real wife as pretend property and Alpha, until they get caught . . .  that says it all.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to slavesally22)
Profile   Post #: 40
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