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Arturas -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/12/2011 8:33:38 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia
Just want to ask this question, because I'm really not good at socializing. And if you're talking to a woman, how would you know that she's submissive or not? Are there any signs to look on? Facial expression?
Kindly help thanks...
All women are submissive to some man but not to all men. So how do you know? Well, all women will send signals in body language. They are wired to do this and in some cases have no idea they do this and in some cases they are very aware and enhance them. Your first job is to learn these signals and know what to do when you see them. For the submissive woman, the primary signals are common with vanilla dating; she will see you looking at her and she will immediately look down, not away, and may even preen at the same time. The looking down is automatic to a woman who is attracted to you initially and the preening is translated to "I am a woman, look at me, come get me". She is expecting you to approach her and this is where you show her you are unafraid and confidently approach her and then talk to her naturally to see if you have something in common. From there she will reject you and you are good because there are others or she will smile and focus on you and in not too long a time begin lightly touching you and you must touch her back very soon also in reply on the arm only as long as she touched you. From there she will furthur signal you by classic submissive moves like looking down at times and preening while exposing her neck to you with touches becoming more frequent and longer in time span with body touching coming into play almost by accident but clearly not.
Lets's stop right here because right here it gets non-vanilla. Acts like pulling her hair at this early stage is risky to say the least. I pulled tam's hair on our first date while taking a kiss but did not do so until well after dinner and after I read these and other signals mostly having to do with her body language. So, there are signals but no secret handshake that saves you the time or energy in obtaining your objective and hers.
To continue in the non-vanilla, submissives will test you in ways women do not so much do in vanilla dating. Once you transition to pulling hair and non-vanilla activities you will always undergo tests by any submissive, tests of your will, your nerve and your skills and knowlege. First will be a test of your will and you must not shrink from it or you will be rejected. But how do you do this while now knowing how she will react when you impose your will? For example, will she protest, will she scream, will she cry, will she fight? She may indeed as part of the test and the stress point for the Dom is "is she testing or is this for real?" and this is a second pucker point for the new Dom. But I used a simple technique to take this "power" away from the newly met submissive. You see, most think using safe words are only for sessions but now is a good time to employ one before you make any non-vanilla move on her. Before making a move reach up and firmly but gently hold her hair, look into her eyes and clearly tell here there is now a safe word she must remember, make her repeat it so she knows it has grave importance and you are serious about it and as a good first test of her willingness to obey and make sure she understands she need only voice it to stop any action and only then confidently begin your training/use/whatever knowing you no longer have to guess. This is from real life experience. I read this safe word tip years ago, possibly in the book "Save the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" which I would recommend along with "The Loving Dominant" both available on Amazon.
Perhaps this is more than you were asking for but I think not and I very much someone told me this when I began. Well wishes.
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