Orgasms

Orgasms (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

becca333 -> Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:07:44 AM)
Thought that'd get your attention. Oddly enough, this post really is about orgasms. Or the lack of. When I'm having a session with my Dom, there's plenty of action, wild fun, SO much sensation, and I spend a lot of time in subspace. I'm certainly aroused, and everything is great.... But no orgasms. Not for me, that is, he gets plenty I'm happy to say - I take pride in good workmanship (workwomanship?). It doesn't worry me all that much, I can have DIY fireworks if I really want them. Is there some kind of anti-orgasm, where you have the same arousal and buildup of sensations, but instead of going orgasmic, it slides you into a really wonderful subspace? If so, that's what I get. Is this what everyone else gets? Or am I doing something wrong?

Kedikat -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:25:55 AM)
Maybe? I had a sub for a few years. she had a terrible time with having O's. Loved being My sub and all that I did to her. It took a while to find the right way. I had to tell her to have one, that I wanted her to have one NOW. It seemed that let her have it. In a way, I guess she had to give her orgasm for Me. she could masturbate to O as well. But of course that is for herself, by herself. Does it give your partner a real pleasure to have you O? Does he let you know it is good for Him if you do? Maybe it would help if it was a part of the submission that He demands you cum? I found it was particularly effective to order her to cum on " fill in blank " body part, NOW! you little " fill in dirty pet name ".

twicehappy -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:35:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Is there some kind of anti-orgasm, where you have the same arousal and buildup of sensations, but instead of going orgasmic, it slides you into a really wonderful subspace? If so, that's what I get. Is this what everyone else gets? Or am I doing something wrong? I experience the arousal and buildup that sends me into subspace but at that point if he or she tells me "cum" i do which serves to send me further out. They can and have built me up to that point; oopppps, sorry Mistress has, then just stopped. Which was fun, you do stay spaced for awhile after. But by the time Master got home and was informed" i wound her up, you get her off" i could have climbed the walls. Normally though me being in subspace makes me more multi orgasmic. I cannot say you are doing anything wrong, if it works for you. Chances are if he applied the proper stimulation you would get off too. I have known a few others who once in subspace just did not come but they still really enjoyed scening.

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:37:03 AM)
It's not an issue with us, but I think he'd prefer it if I did O now and then. He does like to see me aroused, and reacting to our activities. Is it a big issue for partners? Do you really mind if the sub just has fun riding the sensations and zoning into subspace, without that added extra?

slavejali -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:37:07 AM)
hi becca, Sometimes I have what i call an inwards orgasm, instead of it exploding outwards it goes inwards, it fills me with this blissy state...maybe thats whats happening for you.

Kedikat -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:44:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 It's not an issue with us, but I think he'd prefer it if I did O now and then. He does like to see me aroused, and reacting to our activities. Is it a big issue for partners? Do you really mind if the sub just has fun riding the sensations and zoning into subspace, without that added extra? Maybe it is a bit of an issue? From the original post and the quoted comment, I think you have some concern about it. Do you have any idea why you can on your own, but not with Him? Is it a very particular physical technique that is required, or is it more a mental thing? What is in your mind when you orgasm on your own?

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:55:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali hi becca, Sometimes I have what i call an inwards orgasm, instead of it exploding outwards it goes inwards, it fills me with this blissy state...maybe thats whats happening for you. That's it! That sounds like what I experience too!

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 3:59:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat Maybe it is a bit of an issue? From the original post and the quoted comment, I think you have some concern about it. Do you have any idea why you can on your own, but not with Him? Is it a very particular physical technique that is required, or is it more a mental thing? What is in your mind when you orgasm on your own? I'd probably get off if he worked a bit longer in the right spot, but - and I know this sounds silly - I don't like to give him those sorts of orders.

Kedikat -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 4:08:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat Maybe it is a bit of an issue? From the original post and the quoted comment, I think you have some concern about it. Do you have any idea why you can on your own, but not with Him? Is it a very particular physical technique that is required, or is it more a mental thing? What is in your mind when you orgasm on your own? I'd probably get off if he worked a bit longer in the right spot, but - and I know this sounds silly - I don't like to give him those sorts of orders. Skillfully, slyly show him the path. React positively as he gets on the right track. No orders needed. Movements and sounds. If He is at all clued in and wanting you to O, he'll try and find the way. If you need faster....move to it faster. A different spot? Move a bit. Grip His arm in passion and sort of move the spot into position, not the hand to the spot.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 5:40:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Is there some kind of anti-orgasm, where you have the same arousal and buildup of sensations, but instead of going orgasmic, it slides you into a really wonderful subspace? If so, that's what I get. Is this what everyone else gets? Or am I doing something wrong? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on where the energy goes and what the connection is with the other person. It can also depend on WHERE we're having the scene, external context and rules on behavior can affect the energy also. Of course you aren't doing anything wrong if everyone is happy with it. If you want to learn different ways of doing things, just try focusing and practicing- otherwise, just enjoy.

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 5:53:18 AM)
It's all work, work, work, isn't it. Still, there is the satisfaction of a job well done.

CrappyDom -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 7:56:34 AM)
quote: and I know this sounds silly - I don't like to give him those sorts of orders. Becca, imagine if you found out he was withholding information that would increase the pleasure you give him. Now flip that and put the man who wants to know you inside and out in your place. I understand your reluctance to give orders but do you really think this man would respond if you tried to order him around? Somehow I doubt it. Don't bark it during a scene, let him know sometime when you are having a quiet talk about things. If I were in his place, I might create a scene where you are ordered to tell me what does and doesn't feel good in order to explore those things. I mean, one wants one's submissive to know how much pleasure you can give so us cruel bastards can withhold it.!!!!!!!!!!!

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 8:07:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom quote: and I know this sounds silly - I don't like to give him those sorts of orders. Becca, imagine if you found out he was withholding information that would increase the pleasure you give him. Now flip that and put the man who wants to know you inside and out in your place. I understand your reluctance to give orders but do you really think this man would respond if you tried to order him around? Somehow I doubt it. Don't bark it during a scene, let him know sometime when you are having a quiet talk about things. If I were in his place, I might create a scene where you are ordered to tell me what does and doesn't feel good in order to explore those things. I mean, one wants one's submissive to know how much pleasure you can give so us cruel bastards can withhold it.!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want it to become all about getting me to a certain point - if he starts to really try hard for it, and I still don't get there, I'll feel that I've created unnecessary stress. And what I DO get out of it all is pretty wonderful, with or without the big O. I get so much pleasure, and stress release, and emotional freedom, it seems almost greedy to want more.

CrappyDom -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 8:14:22 AM)
becca, Who's in charge, who is responsible? quote: I don't want it to become all about getting me to a certain point quote: I'll feel that I've created unnecessary stress quote: it seems almost greedy to want more. I would bet money it isn't your place to worry about these things!

angelface183 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 8:26:34 AM)
becca, I don't know if this will help, but this past weekend while my Master and I were playing, even though he was able to coax multiple orgasms from me, he wanted more...During aftercare, as we were cuddling, I explained the machinations of the various orgasms that I can achieve. He loved that I was so educated about my own body! He took it as an opportunity to learn more about what it is that I need in order to please him. (He just loves to bind me and "torture" me with orgasm after orgasm) Becca, who is going to know more about what you need to get you off than you? Since we don't come with owner's manuals to pass on to our Masters, then we must communicate to them that which stimulates us. (that is if we are lucky enough to find a Master who wishes for use to experience climax) After all, I love it when he tells me what I need to know in order to increase his pleasure too. Who knows though, I may be wrong. I am just speaking from my very limited experience. angelface

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 8:26:38 AM)
Worry? I have lists of things to worry about. I worry at Olympic level. And ....I want him to be happy and having a great time, not getting fussed about things that aren't serious.

becca333 -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 8:28:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelface183 becca, I don't know if this will help, but this past weekend while my Master and I were playing, even though he was able to coax multiple orgasms from me, he wanted more...During aftercare, as we were cuddling, I explained the machinations of the various orgasms that I can achieve. He loved that I was so educated about my own body! He took it as an opportunity to learn more about what it is that I need in order to please him. (He just loves to bind me and "torture" me with orgasm after orgasm) Becca, who is going to know more about what you need to get you off than you? Since we don't come with owner's manuals to pass on to our Masters, then we must communicate to them that which stimulates us. (that is if we are lucky enough to find a Master who wishes for use to experience climax) After all, I love it when he tells me what I need to know in order to increase his pleasure too. Who knows though, I may be wrong. I am just speaking from my very limited experience. angelface Thank you - that's given me something to think about.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 9:16:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Worry? I have lists of things to worry about. I worry at Olympic level. And ....I want him to be happy and having a great time, not getting fussed about things that aren't serious. Can you see the irony in the fact that you're doing what YOU want to do (not make it all about you) in order to make YOU feel ok (because you feel awkward getting attention and pressure put on you) by not giving him information or being fully communicative? You might be couching it by wanting to just let him do what he wants (and I believe you mean that) but ultimately you are serving only yourself and YOUR desires by choosing to withhold information and not giving "the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing but the truth."

piscess -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 9:32:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Thought that'd get your attention. Oddly enough, this post really is about orgasms. Or the lack of. When I'm having a session with my Dom, there's plenty of action, wild fun, SO much sensation, and I spend a lot of time in subspace. I'm certainly aroused, and everything is great.... But no orgasms. Not for me, that is, he gets plenty I'm happy to say - I take pride in good workmanship (workwomanship?). It doesn't worry me all that much, I can have DIY fireworks if I really want them. Is there some kind of anti-orgasm, where you have the same arousal and buildup of sensations, but instead of going orgasmic, it slides you into a really wonderful subspace? If so, that's what I get. Is this what everyone else gets? Or am I doing something wrong? You are doing him a disservice by holding back information that he has every right to know. Submitting to him is not a halfway thing, if you are his submissive then he has the right to know. There are times my orgasms are more of a mind orgasm than a sexual one, and yes that may be what you are feeling, but it does concern you or you would not have posted the question. Advice is simple, talk to him, it is his right to know. piscess

scratchingpost -> RE: Orgasms (5/11/2006 2:13:18 PM)
You are not doing anything wrong. Physically for MOST people the chemicals that shoot off in the brain during subspace make it impossible for one to orgasm.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125