How Rampant is Promiscuity?

How Rampant is Promiscuity? (Full Version)

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TheRaptorJesus -> How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 11:40:40 AM)
I've been around these parts for quite a while and met a chosen few people and find myself pained by sad revelations I seem to have made. It seems that the online BDSM community is the land of sluttery and man-whoring. I suppose it makes a bit of sense considering a lot of this is about 'sexual liberation' and a lot of people are hung up on satiating the devil between their pants rather than the angel between their ears. The nature of a lot of relationships with power dynamics can allow a dominant to fulfill their libido often enough with whatever person they end up dating rather than the delightful vanilla 3-dates rule. I'm just curious how many others like myself are very reserved with who they end up sleeping or exchanging oral delights with. Secondarily, also how many people may be creeped out by people who have had a lot of partners. I might just be old-fashioned, Jurassic even. Edit: Let me just add to prevent any flame-warring, there's no trolling involved in this. If you're offended, be less of a slut maybe?

mnottertail -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 11:43:11 AM)
O'er the rampants we watched; was so gallantly screaming.....

TheRaptorJesus -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 11:46:45 AM)
Rampant ramparts rarely resonate residential revolutionaries.

mnottertail -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 11:47:52 AM)
reasonable ratiocination

TheRaptorJesus -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 11:54:30 AM)
Recalcitrant replies rarely remedy riddles.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 11:59:47 AM)
I grew up in the sixties era of free love. This was very pre-aids so most hippy dippy type people (of which I was one) were fairly promiscuous. At the time I was pretty fucked up in the head, doing lots of drugs, and I viewed sex as exercise based entertainment. By the time I was 19, I grew out of most of that. In the last 35 years, I've had four sex partners. Is promiscuity rampant these days? I have to say among people who are emotionally fucked up, and who do drugs and alcohol, probably yes. It's a phase that some go through, some grow out of, others don't. To me, my version of promiscuity (sex is just entertainment) means the person has deeper issues to address. I know I did.

TheRaptorJesus -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:04:04 PM)
Yeah, I hadn't given much thought to it being a potential side-effect of my age bracket.

needlesandpins -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:07:39 PM)
i'm very selective about who i have sex with and i am exclusive to that person. the only way that would change is if we met someone together. he has my exclusivity because he is enough. there is nothing lacking that i would want to find elsewhere. everything i want to do i want with him because of the way things feel, the way he makes me feel and the atmosphere we create. i've done the empty, cold fuck in my teens and frankly it's just boring. it makes me feel cheap in a bad way afterwards too. i want the electricity of him, the anticipation of knowing how my body reacts to his touch, be that soft or harsh, knowing i'm safe while feeling anything but and so much of the other stuff that goes with it. i'm his slut in the best or worst possible ways. i'm just not interested in anything else that anyone else has to offer. for me that would be like me saying he's not enough, he's lacking in some way that i need/want to fuck someone else. others will do/think differently and that's all cool, each to their own. YMMV needles

LadyConstanze -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:18:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus I'm just curious how many others like myself are very reserved with who they end up sleeping or exchanging oral delights with. Secondarily, also how many people may be creeped out by people who have had a lot of partners. Sleeping (though I think we could use the f word for that) and exchanging oral delights is something that I reserve for my other half and since he wants to keep his family jewels, he does the same... I'm not quite as "moral" when it comes to hurting or scening with people, but it's "Keep your tongue and your bits away from my bits..." To be honest, I am not creeped out by people who screw around, to each their own, a couple of my friends are unattached and enjoy sex without strings, but they all practice safer sex (at least they claim to do so) and I haven't ever noticed that they try to mislead somebody by claiming they are looking for a relationship when they are looking for just sex. So no issue with it. I would also like to add that the "slutty bunch" is pretty vanilla (unless they're hiding their BDSM interest).

NocturnalStalker -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:21:15 PM)
I justify it as, "get it out of my system."

LadyPact -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:29:56 PM)
TRJ, I don't think your post is going to be mistaken with trolling. People have a chance to get to know you and it's not like you pulled this one out of your bum. Might still need that flame retardant suit, though. I'm going to try to make this part a little easier on you. I could very easily be one of the folks that creeps you out. I'm sure from time to time, you get to read different experiences that I've wrote on different threads. Depending on how I've phrased something, it may sound like there's more to it than what I've written. I don't always remember to add a disclaimer, as in when I say I play with people. Sometimes, I'll remember to add the "meaning S/m play, not physical sex" part. Other times, I just get sick of saying it and I figure most of the forum regulars know I've said it before anyway. It gets redundant after a while having to repeat the same thing over and over on every discussion. Another thing that happens is that I might say something that sounds like it's wilder than what it is. Within the last week, I mentioned something about folks seeing Me naked. That was a story from a party that was a while back and we had access to a pool and a hot tub. It wasn't an orgy, but there's a great "this isn't the neighborhood for orgy noises after 10:00 PM" story that's funny as hell. Now, let's talk about actual sex. I'm poly. I have an active sex life with two people. I'm married to one and the other is collared to Me, which will be four years in November. We have what a lot of folks call a closed poly fidelity relationship. There really isn't the random fucking going on that some people might think there is. Do I have a right to do it as a Dominant in the dynamic with clip? Yes, I do. Do I have a right to do it in My agreements with My husband? No, I don't. How that latter part is laid out is rather entailed. I'll make an apology to you for not explaining all of the specifics. I've done that quite a lot in the past couple of weeks and not allowing the disruption that's happened on other threads will probably allow your discussion here to be better off. If you're curious, I'll invite you (meaning to OP or other people that I converse with regularly - this is not an open invitation for the world to ask Me about My sex life) to write Me on the other side and I'll address what I can.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:30:28 PM)
I've had quite a few partners so I don't get squicked by other people who have a lot of partners. What *does* bother me is when those people don't require condoms and regular STD tests for both themselves and anyone they sleep with. That's just stupid. I was never a slut in the sense that I'd have sex with anyone and everyone who wanted it. However, as I've gotten older, I've become even more selective. I no longer engage in casual sex. There has to be emotional intimacy between my partner(s) and I.

agirl -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:30:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus I've been around these parts for quite a while and met a chosen few people and find myself pained by sad revelations I seem to have made. It seems that the online BDSM community is the land of sluttery and man-whoring. I suppose it makes a bit of sense considering a lot of this is about 'sexual liberation' and a lot of people are hung up on satiating the devil between their pants rather than the angel between their ears. The nature of a lot of relationships with power dynamics can allow a dominant to fulfill their libido often enough with whatever person they end up dating rather than the delightful vanilla 3-dates rule. I'm just curious how many others like myself are very reserved with who they end up sleeping or exchanging oral delights with. Secondarily, also how many people may be creeped out by people who have had a lot of partners. I might just be old-fashioned, Jurassic even. Edit: Let me just add to prevent any flame-warring, there's no trolling involved in this. If you're offended, be less of a slut maybe? I'm quite reserved about who I get sexual with. I can't say I'm bothered by someone having lots of sexual partners, but it might be a long, long day before they managed to have numbered me as one of them. I'm more than content to be a pal though. agirl

leadership527 -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:31:28 PM)
shrugs For me, the path is pretty clear. Step 1: Do I like her and respect her? Ste[ 2: Do I love her? That, eventually, gets me to step 3: Is she potential life-partner material? If so, fuck her and continue to love her and see if it still feels like "life partner material" If so, marry her. I don't see people who do it differently as "slutty". I think I have a system which works for me to achieve the goals I desire. The number of someone's sexual partners wouldn't bother me. I'd be more interested in the details of those relationships than the quantity of them.

Icarys -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:33:24 PM)
"Loose lips sink ships." Surely they were talking about whores when they said that.

LaTigresse -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:35:44 PM)
LadyPact, given the words you chose, if a person reads what you wrote carefully, they should have no questions. As for the OP, I've never been promiscuous because it never felt right to me. For me. What other people do, is none of my business.

JohnWarren -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:36:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus Let me just add to prevent any flame-warring, there's no trolling involved in this. If you're offended, be less of a slut maybe? That's about as hypocritical a set of statement that I've run across lately.

TheRaptorJesus -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:56:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Now, let's talk about actual sex. I'm poly. I have an active sex life with two people. I'm married to one and the other is collared to Me, which will be four years in November. We have what a lot of folks call a closed poly fidelity relationship. There really isn't the random fucking going on that some people might think there is. Do I have a right to do it as a Dominant in the dynamic with clip? Yes, I do. Do I have a right to do it in My agreements with My husband? No, I don't. How that latter part is laid out is rather entailed. I'll make an apology to you for not explaining all of the specifics. I've done that quite a lot in the past couple of weeks and not allowing the disruption that's happened on other threads will probably allow your discussion here to be better off. If you're curious, I'll invite you (meaning to OP or other people that I converse with regularly - this is not an open invitation for the world to ask Me about My sex life) to write Me on the other side and I'll address what I can. Polyamory isn't my thing, but I can definitely respect poly-fidelity and whatnot. So long as there's a real and tangible commitment between both parties everyone should fuck like rabbits. PS- You weren't anyone that caused these thoughts. Most of the inspiration for this is actually people I've met personally and their circle of acquaintances. Which, as someone alluded to, could be attributed to the age range and the fact that a lot of them love drugs... sweet, delicious drugs.

TheRaptorJesus -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 12:59:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus I've been around these parts for quite a while and met a chosen few people and find myself pained by sad revelations I seem to have made. It seems that the online BDSM community is the land of sluttery and man-whoring. I suppose it makes a bit of sense considering a lot of this is about 'sexual liberation' and a lot of people are hung up on satiating the devil between their pants rather than the angel between their ears. The nature of a lot of relationships with power dynamics can allow a dominant to fulfill their libido often enough with whatever person they end up dating rather than the delightful vanilla 3-dates rule. I'm just curious how many others like myself are very reserved with who they end up sleeping or exchanging oral delights with. Secondarily, also how many people may be creeped out by people who have had a lot of partners. I might just be old-fashioned, Jurassic even. Edit: Let me just add to prevent any flame-warring, there's no trolling involved in this. If you're offended, be less of a slut maybe? I'm quite reserved about who I get sexual with. I can't say I'm bothered by someone having lots of sexual partners, but it might be a long, long day before they managed to have numbered me as one of them. I'm more than content to be a pal though. agirl I probably should have specified "creeped out" a little more. I'm all for people doing whatever they want as long as I'm not affected. I'm just perturbed by the potential that if my current relationship ended and I ventured to these realms seeking a partner. I find sexual history a touchy thing to discuss early in correspondence despite it really being a deal-breaker for me. So, being the neurotic reptile prone to paranoia that I am, I'd be ever-so-terrified of contracting every sort of disease and some full-blown AIDS.

LadyConstanze -> RE: How Rampant is Promiscuity? (5/12/2011 1:05:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus I probably should have specified "creeped out" a little more. I'm all for people doing whatever they want as long as I'm not affected. I'm just perturbed by the potential that if my current relationship ended and I ventured to these realms seeking a partner. I find sexual history a touchy thing to discuss early in correspondence despite it really being a deal-breaker for me. So, being the neurotic reptile prone to paranoia that I am, I'd be ever-so-terrified of contracting every sort of disease and some full-blown AIDS. Bah, now come on, that would be easily solved, ask about previous relationships and should I find myself "on the market" for a new partner at any given time, a requirement would certainly be a HIV test and I would offer to have one as well, if a person gets freaked out by such a reasonable request, they're not partner material, simple as that.

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