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I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 4:12:23 PM   
Scorp100


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/20/2011
Status: offline 		I signed up a year ago...or more....but never came back to the site.
Came back this week and updated my profile, so what now.

I have done a search in my area and its loaded with female doms who want money.
Very few female subs, if any.

I have heard of groups or events...but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 4:29:48 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorp100


I have heard of groups or events...but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.



Well, you might benefit from understanding what is meant by "groups" and "events".

Here's a couple of links to get you started....

A Beginner's Guide to BDSM Munches

What to expect at a play party

As for what to do here on CollarChat......start with the Administrative Announcements at the top of the main page.

Then...have fun.

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 4:32:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My first suggestion to you would be to stop thinking of munches/BDSM events as orgies. That's really not what happens there.

Female subs are outnumbered by male Doms.  That means it's more likely that you will have to do the work as far as getting to know people.  You're basically saying, "I don't want to go where kinky folks can have dinner together" (that's what a munch is) so it comes across like you expect someone to fall in your lap on the internet.  Yes, it's happened, but it doesn't happen all that often.

Fewer females (on either side of the whip) initiate contact from profiles because, frankly, they don't have to.  They already have quite a bit of mail from guys who contact them first.  This site is no different than other sites such as Match or OKCupid when it comes to that.  Look at the mail you've received in the last six months.  (The system retains mail that long.)  That's pretty much what you can expect if you aren't the one initiating the correspondence.  Even then, you're not going to have a high return rate.  That's not because of you personally.  That's because that's how it is for most males.

Do some research on past threads here about how to write initial emails.  There are some very good tips.

Here's some stuff to avoid:

Don't pull the "kneel bitch" number.  Women will just laugh at you.

Don't go straight to the discussion of kink and sex.  You won't get a response.

Don't try to puff up experience that you don't have.  They will spot it.

Don't send dick pics.  There's a nice "report message" option here.

Don't write every female submissive in your local area.  You'll get nailed by the spam filter.



Good luck.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 4:50:20 PM   
Scorp100


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/20/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks Bones and Lady, will start from there.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 6:50:06 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		What the others said, and good luck.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 8:31:45 PM   
fallon0627


Posts: 42
Joined: 1/22/2011
Status: offline 		I know you said your not into groups because of orgies. However I go to a local group and sex is not permitted, but having fun, doing scenes and learning is. Maybe there is a group like that in your area. I goggled my area and bdsm groups and went from there. Also you could try fetlife.com

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 9:16:21 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Ask yourself...how many times have you heard of an orgy happening in your local pizza joint.  If you have not heard of any, then it's very likely that the same pizza joint is being used for a munch.  A munch is merely a meeting of people who get together to share a meal.  It's a social occasion.  There is no kink happening.  There is not sex happening. It's people getting together to meet other people...no more, no less. 

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 9:22:20 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Ask yourself...how many times have you heard of an orgy happening in your local pizza joint
I'm told that explains some of the 'special toppings'.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 10:46:13 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/12/2011 10:54:49 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Hi Scorp

I had a quick peruse of your profile and, while it has avoided the headfirst dive into descriptions of your kink or junk, it doesn't say much about you as a person.

Female subs get messaged a lot if they're single, and many will want to see if you connect as a person. So...what do you like to do? Go to movies? Read books? Listen to opera? Tell us about it and it will help us to see whether you're the kind of person we'd enjoy being with.

Also, what kind of relationship are you looking for? Just play partners, or a long term relationship? It might be worth mentioning that too.

But otherwise, good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/13/2011 3:52:22 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/13/2011 5:09:01 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 




Hot damn, the garden state grows bunches of em.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/13/2011 9:14:15 AM   
weaselwelder


Posts: 72
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 


Damn, I forget how thick on the ground we are in Florida, 53 subs logged in in the last hour.

Scorp, as an honest suggestion, I'd write more. A lot more. I get a message from a sub about once every 150 words I put in my journal.


_____________________________

If you're on here asking for relationship advice, you're talking to everyone except the one you should talk to.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/13/2011 9:51:24 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorp100

I have done a search in my area and its loaded with female doms who want money.
Very few female subs, if any.

I have heard of groups or events...but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.



A few suggestions.  Some of which others have already stated. 

First off, the internet is probably not the ideal place to search.  That's why you're finding Dommes who want money.  If you go to a munch or play party, you won't be solicited for money like you are on-line.

Second, take some time to read some threads and learn a bit.  Try to learn basic terminology, and how things work in the BDSM world.  Frankly, when you come on here and say that you think munches are orgies, you make yourself sound kind of stupid.  That's kind of like me saying "I don't go to the opera because I don't like elephants".

Finally, you're not doing your search properly if you can't find any female subs in your area.  There are tons of them.  But as I said earlier, go to an orgy.....errrrr, I mean a "munch". 

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/13/2011 6:21:15 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		 
You need to introduce yourself by sending "cock-pics" to every girl on CollarMe.





_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/14/2011 5:57:20 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		What she said!!

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/15/2011 11:03:57 AM   
firedogmilwaukee


Posts: 91
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		I guess do what hes doing now. reading the message board and trying to actively participated in whats going on. more people read and browse the board and see your posts then will ever actually respond to them, its like advertisement and your helping to improve and grow the online community double win.

(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/15/2011 12:08:56 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.
Not interested in orgies???? My advice is in depth Jungian therapy. Dude everybody is interested in freaking orgies!! Its natural!


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Scorp100)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/16/2011 7:31:01 PM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		The whole forum is an all day long orgy. And I see that you also noticed that , because you hate them so much, you didn't come back to post ;)

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? - 5/17/2011 3:31:02 AM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 



Great Scott...


_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 20
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