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RE: So confused... - 5/12/2006 4:45:00 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
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Just curious Fastlane,

why is your avatar a female character from Samurai Showdown Two?

She can make a triangle in the air with her sword and it makes a ranged attack.


Does that have anything to do with it?

Best,

LaMalinche

BTW her name is Charlotte. . .  are you really a Kevin, or is your name Charlotte also?


(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: So confused... - 5/12/2006 5:01:53 AM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline
Luvbug,

You seem to have done nothing wrong.  Ofcourse there is always 2 sides to every story but it seems he is the one filled with lies. 

You now have to decide if you can live with the lies and once again try to build trust.  Seems a long time has been invested, how much longer do you want to invest.

Do what is right for you and your daughter, whatever that may be.

piscess

(in reply to Luvbug)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: So confused... - 5/12/2006 7:25:02 AM   
BiteGirl


Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline
Let him go hun. You deserve so much better. 

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: So confused... - 5/12/2006 3:44:00 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Luvbug

What have I done wrong?  Why is this happening again?  I can't go through this again.  I really feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown.   Can someone please help me?



I will be blunt.  He is a LIAR.  It's not about what you have done wrong, it's HIS problem.  HE is not genuine - it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone like that - no matter what YOU do. 

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to Luvbug)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: So confused... - 5/12/2006 5:17:50 PM   
YouWill2


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/2/2006
Status: offline
Sorry for all your sorrow and pain

Without trust there can not be a mutually beneficial relationship for the two of you.  It's time to say goodbye and to look forward not back.


< Message edited by YouWill2 -- 5/12/2006 5:18:40 PM >

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: So confused... - 5/12/2006 6:06:12 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.  He's got you at home doing everything for him and making him feel like Da Big Masta.  But yet, it's not enough for him.  There are so many other flavors of cake out there!  Gotta taste them all! 

You gave him the proverbial second chance and he blew it. I don't think there's shame in giving it all you've got.   The real shame is if you let him blow it a THIRD time. 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to YouWill2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: So confused... - 5/13/2006 3:43:06 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline
Luvbug---I'm so  sorry you're going through this.  Your devotion and submission to this man should not lead you to a nervous breakdown. You've given up alot of your personal power to this man.(Don't give him that much power over your mental health.) Of course, it's easier to say these things when I'm not in your situation.

The question is: Is he worthy of any more of your attention or submission in the future?

Best of luck to you.
irishbynature


(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: So confused... - 5/13/2006 5:17:10 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
Hmmmm, about 9 months ago one would have had to look again to see if one wrote this herself! 

Been through the same thing - lies, begging for forgiveness, they'll change and never ever do it again, and turn your back and there they go again off and running. 

Now - a Master does not have to lie to His slave.  A Master needs to be honest with His slave - if He wants to look for others/play with others/move another in to the house - He needs to be honest and then the two of Y/you can work it out (or not).  After all, He is the Master. 

So....................He lies again and again and again, till you get tired of it and decide that in 1 more year you don't want to be going through this again; in 5 more years you don't want to be going through this again.  At that point you leave or have Him leave.  Cut the cord, He is a loser and obviously does not have your best interest or well-being at heart.  That should say it all right there.  Think more of yourself than this, make this the last time you have to put up with his bullsh--.  Take time to get to know yourself again, then find a Master that will take care of you like He should, that will not bring you down mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

9 months later and one is loving life - do not have to live with a fake and/or a liar every day - God life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!  Good luck to you and please take care of yourself! 

(in reply to Luvbug)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: So confused... - 5/18/2006 10:46:36 AM   
NaturalMaster1


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline
I have read your post, and most of the replies, and they followed the theme I thought they would, the bottom line here is that a Master who cannot control Hisself has no ability or right to control anyone else. The cornerstone of this lifestyle has and will ALWAYS be TRUST. Thats why lifestyle relationships have always been much stronger than vanilla, the  trust must be so strong to completely give yourself to Another's care. When trust is violated, all of the the other aspects of a D/s or M/s will begin to crumble as well. My advice is for you to remove yourself, and your child from the situation, and find someone that knows what this lifestyle is and the sacrafices neccessary to live it. Good Luck To You, feel free to contact me if you need to talk further !!

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: So confused... - 5/18/2006 10:56:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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I know it's your first post and all but...
quote:

ORIGINAL: NaturalMaster1
Thats why lifestyle relationships have always been much stronger than vanilla, the  trust must be so strong to completely give yourself to Another's care.

No, they haven't and aren't.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to NaturalMaster1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: So confused... - 5/18/2006 11:03:48 AM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
I think Jali really nailed this one.

It is not about what you are doing wrong.  It is about what he is getting from these ads.  Is it something that can be fulfilled in another way and do you want to try -- or is it a betrayal that you can't move past.  If you want to work through it, it will requires lots of goal-oriented non-accusatory discussion and time.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: So confused... - 5/18/2006 11:37:35 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I will agree with Sensual and jali because none of us know all of the facts it is wrong for any of us to tell you to leave or kick him out or anything else of that nature. It sounds from what you have said that may inevitably be the necessary outcome however.....I would suggest counselling for BOTH of you. The two of you were drawn to one another for a reason, faults in the relationship have come to light, BOTH of you need to work thru the reasons why you allowed this to take place and learn to grow as individuals to prevent the same thing from reaccuring wether it be together or in new relationships in the future. Regardless of where the relationship is headed you are both going to learn something from one another that can be very benificial. I am just a firm believer that we are drawn to and draw people to us for a reason. Its up to us to learn what we need to learn from that person or keep making the same mistakes over and over........relationship after relationship. The counseling can help you with that and, if the relationship needs to end it will help with the tough emotions that go with it especially since you do have a child involved.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: So confused... - 5/18/2006 12:16:23 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Dear Luvbug, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I wanted to first say, that I am always disappointed in dominants to whom portray one thing and are entirely another.
 
Lies are not good at all.  The trust broken, is never restored ever again and repeated lies are just a conformation that trust is broken and pieces float further apart.

That said, I know that there are two sides to every story.  However based on what is posted, these are my thoughts on the matter and offer for consideration.

Masters are human.  Although they may know a lot, that does not mean that they are able to apply it.  They may know how to have a commanding presence or technically know how to whip someone.  However, a Master is much more.  In addition, not all Masters are good trainers. And, not all good trainers make good Masters. 

I feel the need to refresh on what power slaves have.  The slave empowers and enables a Master to be "the Master," and as long as you accept that, that Master will continue.  You feed that power and energy the Master requires as to function as one.  If he is of the mind that slaves are property and feelings, desires and such are not entitled to a slave, then this Master is for you.  My written question out loud for you to consider, is what kind of M/s and or D/s "mentality" did you agree to.  What was negotiated.  If the negotiated contract and or terms of agreement are broken, it is no different than a breech of contract, as you acted 'in good faith.'  Treating it from a business aspect it may take the romantic, the "love" and the emotional parts out of the logic of the questions you need to ask.

Taking a step onto the legal realm, to support your logic and judgment now.  You have found evidence that supports your lack of trust in this Master.  It has been found that while it was a condition of forgiveness for the first lies as it regarded to your trust and betrayal, it has been established once again--that he cannot behave in a manner which is acceptable in your "court."  There needs to be a stiffer penalty for the repeated offenses and the perjury he has committed.  It would land someone in jail.  The question is, will you release this Master again on his own personal word not to do such things again? (Probation or conditional release).

Apparently, this Master has his motives.  He has demonstrated his intent.  He does know the consequences of his actions, by hurting you again, does it again.  Unfortunately, dear lass-- I believe he will never change.  If sincere, he would not have given you proof to confirm he is a liar.  Now, if ads were for "training" help--fine but, your post reflects that he is looking for another slave who will enable him to act badly.
I'm sure he knows that he will need to find a home to live in very soon; especially if you remove the Master's rubbish to the curb and no returns.

The heart of yours has been broken so many times.  However, you can do better and are entitled to better.  You have the power to recall from the Master and disable him.  The sad part is, the careless manner how he has treated you and your daughter's affections.  However, if you cannot trust him, your daughter should not be subjected to an individual who can't be trusted either.  Do for your daughter, the right thing as well as yourself.

It is better to be alone and know what you have and what you can depend on and have trust in, then to have someone around that your mind will have doubts in.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs


 

(in reply to Luvbug)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: So confused... - 5/18/2006 12:47:44 PM   
shyfem


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline
Luvbug,

I hope all works out, and while I have a differing opinion on the cyber thing, I agree with the majority about the lying. He should be honest with you. His lies are not something that I would be quick to forgive.

There is a quote I thought of that fits this scenario, I am not sure where it is from though...

"I would rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones"

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: So confused... - 5/21/2006 6:00:03 AM   
kneelingatfeet


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline
for what it is worth, it seems to me clearly that he has done wrong, he has lied to you and not just once.
it is easy, when you give so much, and especially when you want to believe, to be taken advantage of.
not all men who call themselves Masters are deserving of the honour.
also, in my experience, subs and slaves oftn have an over developed sense of guilt. we are more likely to question ourselves instead of him.
i found myself in a similar situation, i took it and took it, kept giving, kept giving while he kept taking.
i found the strength in the end to ask to be released from my collar (he didnt even try to persuade me otherwise), and although it hurt at the time, i am stronger, more secure in myself and much wiser as to those who would call themselves Master without any knowledge of all that it means.
you have done all you can, you have found him to be deceitful, he is not good enough for you.
written with compassion,
kneeling at feet

(in reply to Luvbug)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: So confused... - 5/25/2006 1:57:37 PM   
spectreandnectre


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: nebraska
Status: offline
my opinion would be that a true D/s relationship is about honesty and truth so in my humble opinion there truly is no real D/s relationship if he is lying to you.  Personally i would show him to the door and get some counseling for my child.  The foundation of this tpe of relationship is honesty and trust if you dont have that and wish a vanilla relationship then fine if you cant live with a vanilla relationship then i would walk him to the door.

_____________________________

"When I see you, the world stops as if the only purpose in life was for me to please you."

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: So confused... - 5/25/2006 5:19:29 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
There seems to be a general trend of doms leaving their subs.  Maybe theres something in the water?

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 37
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