Is Mistress the feminine form of Master?

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Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 9:01:26 PM

coookie

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I have noticed in previous threads that males identifying as "Master" get a lot of flack for self identifying as such because they have not "earned" the title though a female can come here with the title of "Mistress" with no experience and not one person claims she is not yet worthy of the title.

Now I know that some women in the leather community earn the title of Master just as men but as the title asks, are the two titles not synonymous?

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 9:21:15 PM

ResidentSadist

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Yes, Mistress is the feminine form of Master. BTW, women cannot be Masters, only men can be Master's . . . except in the lesbian gay community where it refers to women in a man's role.

Both titles are self bestowed . . . except in some BDSM leather groups/societies where you earn your cap and/or vest which is awarded to you. This started in gay communities originally.

A lot of people confuse role play with lifestyles. I cold elaborate on this but 200 "internet experts" would post their unsubstantiated disagreements. Then the "anti-label coalition" would picket my house claiming that giving words clear and concise meaning is an attempt to box them in and limit life's possibilities.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 9:45:33 PM

coookie

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Thanks Resident Sadist. I think that the two do mean the same thing and really I don't care if people what people choose to identify themselves as but I have noticed this discrepancy, not only on these boards but in real life as well. Strange

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 9:50:00 PM

SexyBossyBBW

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I've found that yes, it is used as the feminine role of master. I agree to some extent, that it is an earned position; but what does it take to earn it? Doing one thing very well, or doing everything well, because one's been into wiitwd for 10 20 years?

I don't like to be referred to as mistress, because I don't consider myself experienced in most things on the kink list, and because of the dictionary definition of a "mistress." YMMV, M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 5/15/2011 9:51:04 PM >

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 9:57:31 PM

coookie

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I kind of think that if Jane down the street wants to throw Mistress in front of her name, who am I to tell her she can't? I do not think that in my interactions with people that the specific title makes them more learned personally. I trust Bob as much as Master Oftheuniverse to wield a bullwhip which is not very much initially. If Oftheuniverse insisted I call him Master we could have issues.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 9:58:42 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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Possibilty, most men are so much harder then the dom female there are exceptions ie di..both are hard wired to their domience, in the inside of a mistress is a little girl wanting to be loved and to kneel for the special man smile ducks and runs..Bounty

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 11:08:37 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

in the inside of a mistress is a little girl wanting to be loved and to kneel for the special man smile ducks and runs..

Good plan, Bounty.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 11:11:01 PM

SexyBossyBBW

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Oh my goodness! BOUNTYHUNTER is trying to get me to beat him.

quote:

coookie
I kind of think that if Jane down the street wants to throw Mistress in front of her name, who am I to tell her she can't?

I don't disagree with you, that anyone can call him/herself anything he/she desires. I also think, it is up to each person, to dig deeper, and see if the label fits the person. However, I'm one of those people who like to know that there is at least some tomatoes, in the can labeled "tomato sauce." M

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 11:45:57 PM

coookie

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lol to that I cannot disagree

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/15/2011 11:58:50 PM

LadyPact

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Let Me take a deep, long breath. (Those of you who want to avoid a long post might want to skip this one.)

There are a few question being mixed here without being evident. The issues with this is that you're going to get answers based on role, gender, and then there will be this wee, small sliver of folks who are going to answer from a leather perspective. I happen to be something of a traditionalist on all three.

No, I don't happen to agree much with the "I'm a brand new Master" kind of thing. Really, if you're brand new and you're not in a dynamic with a slave, you really haven't "mastered" anything. There's a difference between wanting to be a pilot and actually being one. Otherwise, you're just somebody who is hoping to craft that kind of dynamic, if you ever find one. On the other hand, if you've got somebody calling you "Master" in your world, I don't have any reason to step into that. (I may not think much of you as a Master, but that's another thread entirely.)

What happens often is there is a significant gender bias on the matter. More often, it's that the general populace is just so glad that someone with interest in being a female Dominant shows up, that they aren't going to challenge her. The bar is set quite a bit lower. There aren't nearly the concerns that she's competent or any other thing that males go through around here. Not that she isn't in the position to screw somebody just as much as a male in being so. No. She's got tits, that's good enough.

In leather protocols, any woman who has earned her leathers can elect to take the term Master if she chooses. It wasn't always that way, but then again, straight men didn't earn their leather back in the day, either. Our protocols say that we are entitled to the same structure of protocol regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, or any other thing you can come up with. At formal introductions at leather events, I am Master Lady Pact. It's not a Mistress cap. It's a Master's cover.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 12:07:44 AM

GreedyTop

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LAdy FireMaam also fits the profile, LadyP, as far as I know.. A FEMALE MASTER.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 12:43:18 AM

DavidLee44UK

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its not what the person call him/herself

its what's perceived

a 19 yr old blonde calls herself a domme is in my eyes a joke or a man

someone who says their a switch and then in profile say sub is not really sub in my view is vanilla

its funny in there are some terms in this forum and online you never hear in real life

its up to the person who hears or listens to it

its like if you see a woman saying shes a slave and all model shots with perfect poise its not a real person or if it is a very shallow 1

just my perception

(in reply to coookie)

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 4:04:33 AM

DesFIP

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All 19 year old blondes are men? Do they magically become female again at age 20?

Many people put up two profiles, to attract different responses. Switches can go through a period where they don't want to top at which point they'll put up a sub profile. A year later, when their needs change, they add the switch profile. That's all it means.

Mistress can be used to show deference, to show you've turned pro, or to indicate you're in a m/s relationship. And of course, as has been stated, master is used regardless of gender in the leather community.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 4:16:56 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW

Oh my goodness! BOUNTYHUNTER is trying to get me to beat him.

quote:

coookie
I kind of think that if Jane down the street wants to throw Mistress in front of her name, who am I to tell her she can't?
I don't disagree with you, that anyone can call him/herself anything he/she desires. I also think, it is up to each person, to dig deeper, and see if the label fits the person. However, I'm one of those people who like to know that there is at least some tomatoes, in the can labeled "tomato sauce." M

Most of us would like that, but let's face it, online people can call themselves whatever they want, if they show through their comments that they have no knowledge to back up exaggerated claims, they lose credibility. Now since some of us like to meet in RL as well, can you imagine how somebody who claims to have this massive experience doesn't know which end to hold the flogger would go down? There's a difference between just claiming a title and actually being able to live up to it. I'm a bit old fashioned here, but I expect people who claim labels to actually have experience, there are certain things that don't interest me all that much, for example I am not a huge fan of intricate rope bondage (personal preference, takes quite long and I don't get much out of it, I feel a bit like a spider weaving a web), I would rather use leather harnesses, cuffs and combine them with rope bondage and then get to do all the nice stuff once somebody is immobilized, but still, a basic knowledge of rope bondage is a bit of a must have. I can compromise on a lot of things, but safety and hygiene - I have to admit I am really a stickler for those. BDSM tends to have a few risks, we're prepared to take them in informed consent, but you try to minimalize risks like infections with proper care and hygiene. Somebody can be a marvel with a whip (and I can really appreciate that) if he or she will break skin with one and use it then on the next person, sorry, all the respect for the technical skills can't make up for that...

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 4:42:10 AM

Madame4a

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Nice job... thank you...

I am not by the way, Master anything... I don't have my cover and won't just go buy one.
However, I don't use Mistress either... in fact I have an aversion to it.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 6:40:29 AM

leadership527

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Gosh, I hadn't thought it through all this carefully. Perhaps I didn't over-analyze things enough but I just saw "master" as the word I wanted my slave to call her master. I didn't expect it carried with it any sort of implication of skill level. Heck, what skill level exactly would we be talking about? In my case, the only obvious one I can think of is "I'm great at having a relationship with Carol."

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 6:56:51 AM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
. . . In leather protocols, any woman who has earned her leathers can elect to take the term Master if she chooses. It wasn't always that way, but then again, straight men didn't earn their leather back in the day, either. Our protocols say that we are entitled to the same structure of protocol regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, or any other thing you can come up with. At formal introductions at leather events, I am Master Lady Pact. It's not a Mistress cap. It's a Master's cover.

Thank for taking time to write out a clear answer about how the OP was mixing relationship roles, gender and social titles. I apologize for not taking time to tune my reply properly. I was writing up a detailed answer but got called away for 15 minutes. When I got back, I had lost my train of thought and went with only the one aspect that had been left on my word processor... which made it misleading. Sorry I gave cookie a half-assed answer. I'm glad you grabbed the ball and ran with it.

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 7:35:48 AM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

I have noticed in previous threads that males identifying as "Master" get a lot of flack for self identifying as such because they have not "earned" the title though a female can come here with the title of "Mistress" with no experience and not one person claims she is not yet worthy of the title.

Now I know that some women in the leather community earn the title of Master just as men but as the title asks, are the two titles not synonymous?

"Mistress" is a woman in a position of authority or control; most literary references can verify this, and its archaic root to a female owner of slaves.

As for the stigmas that follow words, each has its own. With Mistress is the ever-present popular usage of "a woman engaged in an extramarital sexual relationship".

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 7:48:11 AM

SimplyMichael

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As for leather, remember that all too many leather families and even groups are made up of co-dependent dysfunctional people no better/worse than any average group of people from CM.

So because you were awarded your title/cover by a bunch of nitwits doesn't make it any better than some 23 year old who calls himself master. Sometimes that 23 actually makes his partners happy and they still think fondly of him years later, a feat quite a few "leather" people have yet to "master".

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RE: Is Mistress the feminine form of Master? - 5/16/2011 8:03:13 AM

Hillwilliam

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I hope this won't be considered a hijack.

Personal feelings here. I've been into this wonderful thing for 20 years or more and I am uncomfortable with a woman I dont know WELL (in the biblical sense shall we say) calling Me "Master".

I might be A Master but I'm not HER Master.

Those who insist that they be called Master or Mistress by everyone before they even get to know you are normally greeted by a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

I then tend to ignore them before I say something that might hurt their egos.

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